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28. It Shouldn't Hurt
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2025-11-28 04:35:40There was something almost poetic about the answer, something that suggested depths I'd never bothered to explore. And beneath the poetry was a cutting edge, my thoughts are better company than you.
I hated the calmness in her voice. The lack of fear. The lack of anything I could grab onto, fight against, dominate.
It felt like she was holding up a shield, one I hadn't given her permission to carry. One she'd forged herself in the fires I'd lit.
"Lyra." I forced my voice lower, softer, trying for something that might reach past her defenses. "Look at me."
She did.
But the look wasn't submissive, there was no lowering of lashes, no softening of features. It wasn't defiant either, no challenge in the set of her jaw, no fire in her gaze.
It was nothing.
A mirror reflecting nothing back.
A window into an empty room.
I saw my own face in her eyes and didn't recognize what I'd become.
The temper I'd been holdin
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He Hated Me First 29. Ignored
She gently pulled her hand free, the movement so smooth I couldn't have stopped it without truly hurting her."...am simply adjusting."The words felt like claws dragging slowly down my spine. Not quick and sharp like a clean wound. Slow and deliberate, leaving tracks that would scar."You think this is adjustment?" I heard myself say. "This silence? This distance?""It's peace.""You think ignoring me is peace?""No." She met my eyes fully, and for a moment the mask slipped just enough to show me the truth. "It's survival."The word hit like a physical blow.Survival.Not defiance. Not revenge. Not even conscious choice.Survival.The way prey learns to go still when the predator is near. The way wounded things find dark places to heal or die in peace.I was the thing she needed to survive.That realization, that understanding of how she saw me, how she'd been forced to see me, felt
He Hated Me First 28. It Shouldn't Hurt
There was something almost poetic about the answer, something that suggested depths I'd never bothered to explore. And beneath the poetry was a cutting edge, my thoughts are better company than you.I hated the calmness in her voice. The lack of fear. The lack of anything I could grab onto, fight against, dominate.It felt like she was holding up a shield, one I hadn't given her permission to carry. One she'd forged herself in the fires I'd lit."Lyra." I forced my voice lower, softer, trying for something that might reach past her defenses. "Look at me."She did.But the look wasn't submissive, there was no lowering of lashes, no softening of features. It wasn't defiant either, no challenge in the set of her jaw, no fire in her gaze.It was nothing.A mirror reflecting nothing back.A window into an empty room.I saw my own face in her eyes and didn't recognize what I'd become.The temper I'd been holdin
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