Magnetic and Terrifying

Katherine’s POV

"Y-Yes..." I whispered.

My voice was weak. He was too close. His scent was everywhere, and his body was like a wall of heat pressing against me. I couldn't think. 

I couldn't even find the air to breathe. Being this close to him was different than watching him from across a room.

He was magnetic. He was terrifying.

With every bit of strength I had, I shoved his chest. He didn't fall back—he barely moved—but he allowed me to push him just enough so I could gasp for air. 

"Damn it," I muttered under my breath. He was so strong!

Alexander didn't move. He just stood there, his golden eyes locked on mine, watching me struggle to find my composure. 

He looked like a wolf watching a rabbit that had suddenly grown claws.

"Tell me again," he rasped, his voice dropping into a dark, dangerous tone. "What do you think you’re doing? Are you playing me? Or are you playing my brother?"

I looked at him, trying to hide the fact that my knees were still shaking. 

"I..." I gasped, trying to steady my voice. "I only want to choose you, Alexander. Is that so bad?"

Alexander took a slow step toward me again. The room felt smaller.

"In this pack, nothing is done for 'just' a choice, Katherine," he hissed. "You were Nikolai’s chosen mate for months. You looked at him like he was the sun. Now you look at me and offer to bear my children?"

He leaned down, his face inches from mine. "People don't just change their minds overnight unless they are running from something... or planning to kill someone. Which one is it?"

I looked into his eyes and didn't blink. "Both," I whispered. 

"Both?" Alexander repeated. The word seemed to dance in his dark eyes, making them glow with a suspicious hunger.

I realized I was saying too much. If I stayed in this room for another minute, if I kept looking into those golden eyes, I was going to break. 

My heart was beating too fast, and the secret of my rebirth was burning a hole in my tongue. I couldn't tell him I had died. I couldn't tell him I had lived five years of hell already.

I took a deep breath and straightened my red dress.

"Anyway," I said, my voice sharper now. "You have the deal. Think about it. Marry me, or I won’t choose either of you. You can both lose the prophecy for all I care."

Before he could reach for me again, I turned and bolted. I didn't look back. I practically ran out of the room, my heels clicking frantically against the stone floor.

I needed to get away from his scent, his heat, and those eyes that felt like they were peeling back the layers of my soul. Talking to him was dangerous. 

Another few minutes and I might have told him everything—that I woke up from a nightmare that was actually my life, five years in the past.

I burst through the hallway, my chest heaving.

I didn't even get five steps before I saw them—a pair of polished black shoes blocking my path. I looked up, and my heart turned to ice.

Nikolai.

"Do you have any idea what you did tonight?" Nikolai hissed, his face pale with fury. "My father won’t give me the Alpha title yet because you haven't made your 'official' choice. If you choose Alexander, he gets everything. He gets both territories. He gets both packs. And what happens to me, Katherine? I become his Beta. I become his servant."

In my last life, I would have cried. I would have apologized and promised to make it right. But now? I felt nothing but a cold, hard stone where my heart used to be. I saw the greed in his eyes, and it made me sick.

"That’s not my problem anymore," I said. I tried to walk past him, my shoulder brushing his.

Nikolai froze. His mouth hung open. He looked at me like I had suddenly grown a second head. To him, I was a sweet little cat who lived for his smiles. Seeing me look at him with pure disgust was like a slap to his face.

He lunged forward, grabbing the back of my arm and yanking me back toward him.

"I don't know what’s wrong with you," he growled, his grip tightening. "Is this because of Sofia? Are you jealous? Katherine, look at me. Whatever is making you mad, we can fix it. We are meant to be together."

"For all I remember," I said, ripping my arm out of his grasp, "I can freely change my mind. And I am going to marry your ruthless brother for all I care."

Nikolai stepped into my space, his eyes flashing with a dangerous light. "And you’re not scared of him?" 

"Scared?" I laughed, and the sound was sharp and jagged.

"He can hurt you, Katherine!" Nikolai shouted, his voice echoing in the empty hallway. "Have you heard the stories? Girls don't survive his bed. They come out broken, if they come out at all. You are a wolf-less girl. He will snap you in half the first night!"

"Maybe I want to be snapped in half," I countered, leaning in until I could see the sweat on his forehead. "Maybe I’d rather be broken by a monster than bored by a coward who only wants me for a crown."

"You’re lying," Nikolai whispered, his face inches from mine. "You love me. You've followed me around for months. You can't just stop loving someone in a day."

"You’re right," I whispered back, my voice turning into a deadly promise. "I didn't stop loving you in a day, Nikolai. It took me five years of hell to realize that the 'kind' man I loved... never actually existed."

"Five years?" Nikolai repeated, his brow furrowing. "Katherine, what are you talking about? We've only known each other for a few months."

"Shit!" I said the word out loud before I could stop myself.

Nikolai’s jaw practically hit the floor. He stared at me like I had just grown wings. The Old Katherine was a quiet, church-mouse of a girl. She didn't curse. She didn't even raise her voice.

"Shit..." I whispered again, closing my eyes for a second. I was slipping. The ghost of my future was leaking into my present.

"Shit?" Nikolai asked, actually looking around the floor as if he expected to see something physical. He looked so confused that, for a moment, he seemed almost stupid. "You... you just cursed. Since when do you use that language?"

I didn't answer. I just frowned at him and tried to push past, but he used his Alpha speed to appear right in front of me again, blocking the hallway.

"If we can’t fix this, I’m not going to stop," he warned, his voice getting lower, more desperate. "I need to know what’s wrong. What’s wrong with you? What’s wrong with us? Why are you acting like this?"

You killed me! My mind screamed. You watched the light go out of my eyes and you didn't even blink!

But I couldn't say that. Not yet.

"Nothing is wrong with me, Nikolai," I said, forcing my face to be as cold as a winter grave. "I just woke up. I finally see you for exactly what you are."

"And what is that?" he snapped.