Feelings 38

Author: Thanks for reading and for supporting. Please comment and rate the book if you like it or if you hate it. And please tell us why.

Se Jong: Chae Joon kissed me.

Author: I saw.

Se Jong: Why?

Author: I don't know.

Se Jong: Does it mean he finally accept his love for me? Want to be more than friends? Want to be with me?

Author: I don't know Se Jong. Don't ask me.

Se Jong: But he kissed me!!

Author: F***k off! I don't want to hear it!

Se Jong: Jealous?

Author: I'm pretty sure I love being single.

Se Jong: I asked nothing like that. You sold yourself.

Author: Chapter 38 begins now.

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Morning, 

Time (Around 7am)

Beautiful morning, however, Tae Jin couldn't find anything beautiful about the morning.

He was in the dining, seated, waiting for Jay and Si-Yeong to come down and cook him breakfast.

Tae Jin: I'm not hungry.

Anyways, he couldn't sleep, had only three hours to sleep and he couldn't. Kept tossing and turning, his mind full of Hae Jin, what he said about being in love with him, his smile, his cute face,...

Tae Jin: Enough!

Yes, all that was on his mind and sleep, couldn't do it's job.

He then decided to skip school, get some rest and think of what to do next.

Jay really was such a good friend. He decided to stay home with him, keep him company even though Si-Yeong could do exactly that.

Now, he was waiting for them.

"Coming!" Jay yelled out, coming down from the stairs.

What?

Did the door bell just ring?

Tae Jin didn't notice.

And he didn't want to know who it was either.

*Sigh, he was in a horrible mood.

"What happened to you two?" Se Jong said, surprising him.a

Tae Jin turned around, looking behind him, he found Se Jong, glaring him.

Jay was in the living room, watching them from there.

When did he (Se Jong) enter? Did he speak before he came in?

He didn't notice neither did he hear and that was because he wasn't paying attention.

"Hae Jin is not talking. He didn't any sleep and you know......."

"Why are you not in school?" Tae Jin said, interrupting him.

Rolling his eyes, Se Jong answered,

"My jerk friend left without a word and I came to look for him"

*Sigh, Se Jong sighed before continuing,

"Shin Hye went to get your things from your mom's place"

Oh, so, none of them went to school?

Why? The final exams was coming up right?

Did they care?

Author: Says the guy who also skip school.

Tae Jin: Shut up.

"Hae Jin doesn't know his treasure is missing right?" Se Jong asked but he didn't answer,

"Enough Se Jong" Tae Jin said, angering Se Jong even more.

"Do you know, Hae Jin hasn't eaten ever since he disappeared and came back. Is not good for him. He needs to eat something"

He knew.

Tae Jin knew,......but then,.........he thought everything through and........

"Se Jong..........I don't want to end up like my father" Tae Jin said, tears in his eyes as he looked at Se Jong who glared at him.

Still angry.

"I don't want to be gay like him. I don't want this" he said through tears.

Disappointed, angry, Se Jong asked, "Why are you refusing to accept the feelings you have for Hae Jin?" Trying his best to keep his voice calm but then, he (Se Jong) knew, it wasn't working.

"I.........." Tae Jin began but he couldn't find other words to complete his sentence.

"Your heart beats like crazy when you're around him, close to him right? You see him sad, distressed you feel you it too and you don't like it. When he smiles you want to see it for the longest time. Just a smile from him and everything feels alright. You want to be close to him. Always"

"Se Jong" Tae Jin called out to him,

why? Why was he talking like he knew what he felt so well?

"You want to be the first and last person in his life right? You want to be the only one he loves right?"

"Se Jong!" Tae Jin yelled at him, glaring at him.

He (Se Jong) should just stop!

Tae Jin didn't want to hear about it anymore.

"I'm in love with Chae Joon and we're together now"

"What?!" Tae Jin exclaimed in shock but he was the only one, Jay was as well.

They never knew Se Jong was in love with Chae Joon!

Or that, they (Se Jong and Chae Joon) both loved each other.

This was surprising!

Such shocking news this early in the morning.

"You're......." 

"Gay? I don't know but I do know am in love with a man who's not exactly human and way older than me" 

S—Seriously?

Tae Jin thought, still in shock.

"Do you have a problem with that Tae Jin? Should I leave because am gay? Are you angry? Disgusted? Do you hate me now Tae Jin?"

No, that wasn't it...... He (Tae Jin)........

"Se Jong......I......"

"You don't have to answer I know I'll. Kim Tae Jin, hates gay people and since am one of them now, he hates me and am no longer his friend"

"Se Jong" Tae Jin stood up as he called out his name.

Why was he talking like this?

This wasn't so.

"Great! Just know that you're also in love with a man right now and he also loves you. You decide what to do. Will you ignore your true feelings and leave him or you'll accept and be with him. Is your choice" Se Jong said and left.

Just like that.

He didn't even say goodbye to Jay and Si-Yeong who came out of nowhere!

When did she come here?

I did not notice.

"That looked intense" Si-Yeong said to Jay while they were staring at a distressed Tae Jin.

"Shut up Si-Yeong, we were eavesdropping"

"Sure gossiper"

"Take that back" Jay said, glaring at her but she pay him no heed.

And at that moment, Tae Jin got a call.

Distressed, he took out his phone from his pocket, without checking who it was, he answered the call.

"Hello?"

"Tae Jin, please don't hang up yet! I need to see you. We have to talk"

It..........It was his father.

And......for some reason,.......he really wanted to see him.

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Getting to the coffee shop nearby that his father suggested, Tae Jin found his dad outside, standing beside their reserved table.

He looked at him, smiling. Immediately, Tae Jin rushed to hug him, calling him,

"Dad"

Sun was surprised but he was more surprised because his strong son was crying.

"Tae Jin, why are you crying?" He asked worriedly, gently rubbing his back with his hand.

"I think am gay" Tae Jin said, surprising him.

He thought he was what?! Sun thought.

"Tae Jin............"

"I don't know what to do. I don't want to be this way and I don't want to lose him either. I love him too much" Tae Jin cried out.

Such a big boy crying,......it was a good thing no one was around and it was just them.

"Tae Jin" Sun called out to him, hugging him back.

What happened to his son?

What has he missed?

A lot he guess.

After all,

 This was their first time meeting after 19years.

Sun thought, feeling sad, broken.

Some time later, they took their seats. Seated opposite each other.

A glass of orange juice was before Tae Jin while his father, Sun, chose to have black coffee, no sugar or milk.

I won't have that if I was him (Sun)

"Are you calm now?" He asked his son and Tae Jin replied with a

"Hmmm" wiping his eyes with a handkerchief.

He cried too much and this was the first time.

That too, in front of his father.

He might think he (Tae Jin) was weak.

"So,........you love a boy?" Sun asked.

A boy?

More like an old man.

"Hmmm" Tae Jin replied.

This felt kind of weird.

After 18years or so,.....he was speaking to the man.

And the first thing they talked about was his......love life.

For some reason,.......he felt embarrassed.

"Is okay Tae Jin, I understand what you're going through but, don't think you're in love with a man. But a human who's so wonderful that they've won your heart" Sun said and he looked at him, happy to hear this.

"Dad"

"You know, am really happy to hear you call me one. We haven't seen each other for like.......18? 19years?"

*Sigh, Tae Jin sighed in mind, feeling guilty.

"I'm sorry, I was a brat but now I know how you felt. Why you chose to leave us. You followed your heart" Tae Jin said.

And he (Tae Jin) could feel he was going to do the same.

"Huh?" Sun asked, surprised and confused.

"So, how's your new partner? Are you two married now?"

What was his son talking about?

He was so confused.

"Partner? I don't have a partner"

"What?" And now, it was Tae Jin's turn to be surprised.

"But the guy I saw you with! That one time you called and that guy.........and mom said you left her for him"

When his mother got drunk, she said something like that right?

"That guy is not my partner. He's my colleague at work. He had too much to drink so I brought him home. My home. He likes to joke around, play around. He was just playing around when he called me darling"

So, it was all a misunderstanding?

Come to think of it,......how did his father know he was talking about that time?

.............well, there have not been that many times, so......it was understandable that he got it right.

Hold on,.......if his father wasn't dating now, then......

"Then, why did you leave us? I and mom. Because you found out you're gay and that you like men?"

"No, I don't like all men. Like......"

"I get it"

Then,.......his father liked it loved just one person?

Who was it?

Didn't he leave them for that person?

Where was the person now?

His father said he wasn't dating right?

"And I didn't leave you. You're very important to me. I'll never leave you"

"Then.........."

"I can't share everything with you right now. Just know that I love you and you're very important to me. You're my only son and no matter what, I'll always love you" Sun said and Tae Jin could see he was telling the truth.

His dad really loved him.

He was important to him (Sun).

"Okay" Tae Jin said, smiling.

"You still speak with mom?"

"Yes, we're friends now. Just like we used to be"

Just like they used to be.

Right.

His mom and dad were friends before they became husband and wife.

Come to think of it,.....if his father didn't love his mom, why did they get married?

"So, don't you think you should go look for the one you love? Tell him how you feel. If you're lucky, you might end up together" Sun said, smiling.

Hearing this, Tae Jin smiled, saying,

"I am lucky dad. Cause he feels the same"

"That's great. You should go now"

Oh, he really wanted to go now.

But then,

"I want to spend more time with you dad. We haven't seen each other for so long" he said and Sun smiled.

He (Sun) wanted the same.

"Oh, dad, who's this person you're in love with? Do I know him? Where is he? What happened between you two? You even left mom for him. Didn't he feel the same?"

"One question after the other Tae Jin" Sun said, smiling.

"Sorry"

"The person I love is Jin"

Jin? Tae Jin thought, surprised.

He has heard this name before.

"And he's dead"

"What?!" Tae Jin exclaimed in shock, staring at his father who looked down, a sad expression on his face.

He's dead?

Jin?

Hold on.........he remembered now!

Wasn't Jin the name of Chae Joon's brother?!

What?!

That can't be!

Is just........... coincidence, right?

But then,.........Se Jong said, he believe Chae Joon knew his mother.

The first time Chae Joon saw his mother, Se Jong said he could tell that he knew his mom even though he (Chae Joon) didn't say so!

Was this it?

It can't be right?

Then,......why was Chae Joon hiding this?

He (Chae Joon) really knew his mother and dad right?

He knew him right?

Wait a minute,.......he just remembered something, Chae Joon once said he was stubborn like his father (Sun).

This...... feels like the pieces are falling into place.

This.....he can't be right, right?

"Tell me more" Tae Jin said to his father, looking anxious, impatient.

Smiling, Sun replied, "Sure"