Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Eli's POV

The sound of table clock was suddenly too loud today. Everything seemed to irritate me. The sound of the clock, a random frog croaking outside my window and the feel of the bedsheets against my skin. I knew the reason why and it lodged behind my throat like a bitter pill.

I was disgusted at myself. How could I do something like that? How could the picture of the man who made my life a living hell turn me on so much that I lose myself? The image of me fucking my hands in the bathroom flashed in my mind and I groaned into the pillow. Right now, I expected to feel remorseful but I didn't and that was what bred the disgust.

I knew I was going to do it again.

I glanced at the clock. It was just three am. Could morning come already? I froze at that thought. Did I wish that just because I couldn't wait to see Adam again?

“Lord help me.” I pressed my back into my pillows and stared at the ceiling.

My eyes burned and my head felt heavy when the sun pierced through my windows. I rolled over in bed and pulled the covers. My alarms went off and I clenched my teeth while rolling out of bed.

I spent too much time in front of the mirror tousling my hair and then brushing it back. I adjusted my scrubs a hundred times. No, this couldn't be my life now.

Dr. Broome was the first person I saw when I walked into the hospital. He paused and tilted his head when I got closer.

“You look really dapper today.” He smiled.

I chuckled, my fingers curling into the cloth of my shirt. “It’s just a scrub.”

“Yeah, just a scrub.” He tapped my shoulders and smiled at me like we both shared a joke no one else could understand.

A lump appeared in my throat when I checked my schedule and saw Adam’s name. I wondered how I was going to walk into that room and not think of the exact moment when his lips were inches apart from mine. I inhaled deeply and adjusted my shirt.

I stood outside Adam's door for about a minute. My legs suddenly felt glued to the ground. I couldn't take another step.

“Hey Eli.” Nurse Ava placed a hand on my shoulder and I almost jumped out of my skin. “Is everything okay? You are very jumpy.”

I cleared my throat and smiled at her. “I am very fine.”

“I heard what happened yesterday.” Her voice dropped to a whisper. “These rich athletes usually make the worst patients.”

I grunted a reply in my throat and she wished me luck before hurrying away. I finally grabbed the handle and walked into the room. Adam was seated and had a tray in his legs. I couldn't tell if I had just imagined it but his eyes lit up.

“It’s too early to be stuffing your face with food.” I pulled the door shut. “Don't you think?”

“I don't.”

“Right.” I grated. “Exactly how you weren't thinking when you pulled that stunt yesterday.”

“I swear I could feel my legs.”

“Barely.” I snapped at him. “You could barely feel your legs and I specifically told you not to get on your feet but of course you wouldn't listen because God forbid Eli, the jerk from high school tells you the star athlete what to do.”

My breath escaped me in short bursts for a second and we both stared at each other. My fingers tightened around my pen as I bit down on my lips.

“I am s-s-sorry.” My chin trembled. Fuck, I was stuttering again. I chewed down on my molars.

“Is that what you think that was?” Adam asked slowly. “That I didn't want to listen because it was you who gave the instructions.”

I swallowed and managed to voice out. “Yes.”

“No.” He said quietly. “It wasn't that at all. Look, I am sorry I acted like a jerk. It's just that I…”

I stared blankly at him. His brows pulled tight and he looked nothing like the man I saw yesterday. That smug look was completely gone. I felt a pull in my chest.

“I am just not used to being useless or insufficient for myself.”

I sighed and took a step closer. “I get that but you have to let me do my job. I have your best interest at heart.”

“You do?” He smiled and that look was back. “I thought you were trying to leave me paralysed or something.”

I scoffed and picked up my board. “How do you feel this morning?”

“My spine hurts.”

I dropped the board and edged closer to him. I dropped one hand on his shoulder and with the other, I traced his spine.

“Yes.” He groaned. “Right there.”

I froze for half a second. Heat rose to my cheeks and I licked my lips nervously. He craned his neck to look at me.

“Is everything alright?”

“Yeah.” I blinked and pressed on his spine again. “Here?”

He grabbed my hand and gritted his teeth. “Yes. Just there.”

He hummed beneath his breath. “It hurts.”

I moved away from him quickly and picked up my board. My fingers trembled but it wasn't because I was nervous. It was because a delicious sensation was building up in my stomach and if it didn't stop, it would be poking through my pants.

I stood a feet away from Adam's bed while giving him instructions. He did exactly as I asked. I even noticed him glancing after each command to confirm he was doing it right. God, those blue eyes did something to me.

I was rounding up with my session when the door swung open and his teammates burst into the room. My breath caught in my throat. The last time I was in a room with boys from a hockey team, I was cornered and made fun of.

The room suddenly felt too small and the off white walls seemed to be closing in on me.

Their loud voices drained the thoughts in my head.

“Hey.” Adam grabbed my hand. “Are you okay?”

I stared at him through opaque eyes and nodded stiffly.

“These are my teammates. This is Tim…”

“I have to go.” I coughed out and immediately walked out with my clipboard pressed against my racing heart.