[Addison]
Everything hurts, especially my head which aches as I open my eyes and turn my head.
Michael is sitting next to me, his eyes bright with excitement as he reaches forward and pulls my hand towards his, kissing it gently. “Oh good, you’re awake,” he grins brightly, “You had me worried.”
“Michael, what happened?” the strange lights burn my eyes as I blink awake. “How did I end up in the hospital? I…”
“You’re pregnant, Addy!” The smile on his face widens as he scoots closer to the bed. “After all this time! Can you believe it!”
Pregnant? I can’t be pregnant. I was going to leave Michael, but if I’m pregnant, that changes everything.
“The doctors say you are entering your third month,” his joy shines brightly, as he babbles about all of the things he wants to do for our new little one–designing a nursery and getting all the best things. “We need to set up your prenatal appointments and get a baby monitor and find a nanny and….”
He wants to be a father again so badly. I was so ready to leave him, but now…maybe I misjudged him. He says he isn’t involved with Evelyn. If I love him, I would trust him.
But those messages on Jayson’s tablet…Evelyn is acting like she’s Jayson’s mother.
“Michael, I need to ask you something.” I interrupt and he pauses, taking a breath. “Is Evelyn Jayson’s biological mother?”
“Why would you ask such a thing?” Michael scoffs, offended. “She can’t possibly be his mother. I found him in a dumpster, remember? And Evelyn can’t have kids. She’s always wanted them, but she’s never been able to conceive.” My husband frowns. “She loves children–that’s why she became a teacher. Don’t think about it too hard.”
Hearing about Evelyn’s struggles with infertility melts the ice around my heart towards her. I too know what it’s like to wish to have a child of my own. I love Jayson as much as if I had birthed him, but I’ve always wanted to feel the wonder of having a little life growing inside of me.
Could it be that Evelyn has that same wish?
Maybe I’ve misjudged them both.
Michael wouldn’t budge from that chair except to bring me water, food, or entertainment. He insisted he stay next to me, even after I told him he could go home. “If I leave you, something else might happen,” he joked.
“You can’t stay here all day,” I smile at him, my heart willing to give him another chance. “Don’t you need to work?”
“I told the office not to call,” he promises, kissing my brow. “I’m all yours until the doctors send you home.”
Michael’s pocket buzzes as he bends to retake his seat. “I told them not to…” he looks at his phone and stops mid-word. “I…I’m sorry, I wouldn’t normally answer but this is important.”
He rushes from the room without a backward glance, his mind already somewhere else. I am used to this, it is often the way he is with work, and I don’t resent him for it. I know how important it is to build a company from scratch–I helped him build it.
Although it does make me lonely sometimes.
A few hours later he returns with our son. “Mommy?” His little voice calls from the doorway. “Mommy I made you a present.”
As Michael helps me out of bed, my son hands me a lovingly crafted doll. “Look what I made at school!”
“Wow, Jayson,” I give him my best smile as I hug him to my waist. “When did you learn to sew so well?”
“I’m sorry I was mad yesterday,” he presses the doll to my chest, promising me that she’ll make me feel better.
Michael drops me back at home, his phone ringing as yet another emergency pulls him away. “Take care of one another,” he kisses us both on the tops of our heads before rushing out the front door.
Jayson and I play together until it is time for me to prepare dinner. Looking up at the clock, my son turns and asks, “Can I play outside.”
“It’s 5:30,” I frown. “It’s already starting to get dark. It’s too late.”
“But Mom,” he whines. “Just for a few minutes. I won’t leave the yard.”
I tell him it’s a bad idea but he persists.
“Pleeeeze,” he begs, his large blue eyes blinking innocently. “I want you to come with me. We can play together.”
“Okay, but only for a few minutes,” I relent, happy that Jayson wants to spend time with me.
As soon as I open the door, Jayson starts running around the yard like a tightly wound spring. Still exhausted and sore from this morning, I do my best to stay with him, but he has always been an energetic child, and today is no exception. He runs to the edge of our yard and balances on the curb.
“Come on, Mommy,” he calls out. “Let’s play!”
He leans toward the street, almost falling.
“Come away from the street, Jayson,” I call out.
He doesn’t listen. Looking over his shoulder he taunts me, inviting me to chase him.
“You can’t catch me, Mommy!” he laughs as he runs down the street towards a dark alley.
“Come back here right now, Jayson” I gasp, leaning over to rest on my knees for a moment before giving chase again. “Mommy’s serious, this isn’t a joke.”
Following his laughter I turn a corner.
Standing in the middle of the alley, a bright overhead light shines down on him like a heavenly light, and he points a finger directly at my chest. “There she is.”
“Jay…”
A rag smelling of chemicals covers my mouth and nose while strong arms grab me around the face and torso. My eyes start to close as I reach out for my son. “Jayson!!” I try to scream but the rag clamps down even tighter.
Inhaling one more time I call my son’s name.
“Jayson,” I gasp as my son’s image blurs in the distance, my eyes losing focus before they finally close.
Greetings! Thank you for taking the time to read my new story! This week I'm getting a bit of a slow start, but I promise more regular updates starting next week. My goal is to have the first 30K words up and ready for you before the end of this month!
[Jayson]I'm bored and I don’t want to be here. This stupid suit itches."Stop it," Mama Evelyn swats at my hand as I reach up to scratch my neck underneath the jacket. "Stop fidgeting.""But I'm BOOOOOOORED," I whine, holding up my tablet that keeps blinking at me. It's almost out of power and I tell her that. "The new Samsung has a 7 hour battery and..."I know she's not listening, but I keep going on anyway. The room is too bright and the words make no sense and the wifi sucks. I can’t play my favorite game, and my video keeps glitching. If I'm this uncomfortable, she should be too. “Fix it,” I grump as I shove it on Mama Evelyn’s lap slamming it down hard on her round belly. She looks like a pink flower watermelon the way the dress stretches over it. I told her that this morning and she almost slapped me. Mama Evelyn gives me a very stern look, the one she usually gives me right before she says, “I'm done with my bullshit” and wants me to “shut the fuck up.” She'd never say that
[Addison]Dear God, what should I do?This is one of those moments where the decision I make right now, in this moment, can affect the rest of my life. Pivot one way or another, there will be consequences and lost possibilities. Either way, I'll need to decide soon, before all of my options are gone. Frowning, I take a seat in a thickly cushioned chair. Staring at the pills in my hands while absently listening to Tracy remove all traces of what happened here, I feel like I'm gazing down into a dark abyss. I'm so untethered. How do I make this choice? A baby is something I've wanted for a long time--ever since I was a child I knew I wanted to be a mother someday. Pregnancy is a marvel. Creating new life from an act of love, and then spending the rest of your life taking joy as you watch that little life develop into someone new and unique. Jayson is my son, and no child born of my body would change that. He won my heart the first time I held him after Michael found him abandoned in t
[Addison]My best friend hands me a little plastic cup. “I brought my medical kit,” she explains. “I didn’t want there to be anything to trace back to you. We can easily flush or burn a test strip, but one of those little plastic wands are impossible to destroy. Once you pee on them, it’s like they never go away.”She’s right. If I were to use a traditional test strip and throw it away, the press would find it. If I put it in my purse, it could be discovered during a search of my belongings. Even if I managed to get it home, it would only be a matter of time before it was discovered by somebody, maybe a servant or a security guard needing a bit of extra cash. And once the press, or even worse, the enemy, got hold of it, the damage that knowledge could cause to my family is immeasurable. Our image has already been tainted enough between the speculation swirling around the house fire and the press coverage my divorce has brought onto Grant Corp, with the gossip about our relationship sp
[Addison]What should I say? How can I make sense of the last 4 months of my life? “Let me handle this,” Reggie places a gentle hand on mine and his warm smile reminds me that I have people who love me on my side. “It’s what I’m here for. To defend you.” “I can do this,” I insist. I am a lawyer after all. Part of what I do is defend others. Why shouldn’t I defend myself?“I know you can,” Mr. Carter nods. “You are a very capable litigator. But this is your life, your family. Your emotions may be high.”Looking across the room I see my son sitting next to Evelyn in the seats just behind Michael’s. They look like a family. Seeing Evelyn smugly patting her belly, the diamond on her hand flashing as she glares, bothers me more than it should. “Do you trust me, Addison, to do this for you,” Reggie slips from his usual professional demeanor, his face drawn with worry. He wants to respect my rights and autonomy, but he's also concerned. He's a good friend, and an excellent lawyer. I trust
[Addison]Except for the faint faint snapping of cameras and the dull buzz of whispering the crowd goes silent as I turn to face an all too familiar speaker. Turning, I found myself face-to-face with someone I knew I’d have to see, but didn’t look forward to facing. Michael Stone, my ex-husband and the one I’m here to negotiate with for the love of my child. Leaning on Michael’s arm, with a very familiar diamond on her hand, is Evelyn, her round belly near bursting, proof of his infidelity. How dare he come here accusing me of things when he is the reason our marriage fell apart? I wonder how long he waited after our divorce was final before giving her my ring. Not that it matters. I’ve moved on and so have they, apparently. I just…it’s one thing to know everything is over and it’s another to see the commitment someone else had for you shining on someone else’s hand. Looking at her smile as she makes the light shine on it just so, I know she did this on purpose, maybe to set me off
[Addison]No, that doesn't make sense. If Mr. D wanted to poison us, I'd be dead right now not questioning whether or not he had done it. Poison isn't his style. He prefers a more direct approach. But the last time I felt this sick I...No, impossible. That's almost less likely than poison. I was told I'd never conceive again, or at least my odds of conceiving would be the same as anyone conceiving on birth control because my uterus was so damaged by the miscarriage. But what if they were wrong? With everything else that happened, I never went in for a second opinion, nevermind a follow up visit. And Hunter and I have been having unprotected sex for weeks. Lots and lots of unprotective sex. "Oh God," my hands are shaking as I slowly stand. Holding onto the wall I barely keep from falling over. I feel so weak. Last time this happened I knocked myself out and ended up in the hospital. No, I need to be careful in how I proceed. Because either poison or pregnancy, it doesn’t matter–ei