Chapter 8. Selene's Obsession

Selene

I did not sleep.

I lay on my back with my eyes open watching the ceiling. I thought it might give me an answer if I stared enough but it did not, the darkness was still prominent and silence remained heavy.

The question did not go away. “Why would a predator choose to hold back?”

It kept coming to me, again and again.

It was not loud or frantic, it was precise and controlled like the way I used to think and the way I should still be thinking.

It did not get any less sharp, it sharpened more and every time I thought about it the question cut deeper. I remembered his hand, how it steadied the human instead of abandoning them, I remembered his voice in the alley, quiet and certain.

“You are not ready yet”. My jaw got tight. 

"For what?" I whispered into the dark but there was no answer and just the question pressed harder.

Morning drills felt wrong from the moment I stepped on the floor.

My body moved, like it always does. I have done these drills many times that my muscles remember what to do, but it did not feel right.

I missed a step, just a little which was not enough for anyone who does not know what to look for to notice but I felt it.

I was a fraction slow when I turned, I was a second late when I got back into position, my blade cut through the air where it should have met something.

So I started again.

And again.

Still I was still not getting it right.

Across the room someone stopped what they were doing. I did not look but I could feel it. Someone else had noticed that something was not right.

"Focus," one of the hunters said quietly, not really talking to me.

I did not say anything.

I did not need to.

I got my movements back under control, forced myself to do everything right, locked everything down until the mistakes went away.

On the outside I was fine.

But inside the question was still there waiting.

I sat in front of the report terminal for a time, the screen was blank waiting for me to type. This was my routine, something I had to do. I started typing.

I wrote that the patrol route was finished, that we did not find anyone we were looking for and that I saw some things that were not normal.

My fingers stopped moving.

Then I kept going.

I did not write about the alley nor did I write about him.I did not write about the human who should be dead.

I read what I wrote once and twice. It was fine. It was what it was supposed to be, but it was not complete.

My hand was still on the key to send the report. “This is wrong”, I thought.

The answer came away.

I sent the report anyway and it went into the system. It looked like it had always been that way.

Clean, controlled, but a lie.

"Selene."

Commander Elias Thorne called me but did not raise his voice, he did not need to.

I turned to him already standing up straight with my face neutral. "Commander."

He looked at me for a time trying to see something deeper.

"You are off, " he said.

Not a question, a statement.

"I am not, " I replied, too fast, too perfect.

His eyes got a little narrower enough to show that he noticed.

"Your report was good, " he said. "It was short and to the point."

"That is what it is supposed to be, " I said.

"It is, " he said.

Then he paused.

"It was also empty, " he said.

My back stayed straight, my heart did not change.

"I wrote what I saw, " I said.

"Was there nothing to write?" he asked.

The question was carefully quiet.

"Nothing else was important, " I said.

We stood there for a moment not saying anything.

Then Elias stepped closer, not too close but close enough that I had to pay attention.

"Hesitation gets people killed, " he said quietly.

The words should have sounded strong and certain but they did not because I had not hesitated. I had chosen.

"There was no hesitation, " I said.

Another lie.

He looked at me for another second then nodded. Not because he agreed, not because he accepted it.

It was like a warning.

"Make sure it stays that way, " he said. And he walked away.

I did not move.

My hands curled up at my sides.

He saw something, but that was not enough.

At least not yet.

I needed permission to get into the records, but I got in anyway in under thirty seconds.

The system tried to stop me like it always does, but I did not stop. I told myself it was necessary that I needed to understand the enemy to defeat them.

That thought came in very easily. The lies slipped in before I could think about it.

The archive. Old hunt records filled the screen.

I looked for anomalies for things that did not make sense.

The first file was nothing. Someone was hurt badly but they did not die.

I moved on to the next

The second file had witnesses who did not agree on what they saw.

The third file was about a body that was never found.

The fourth file was about someone who was found alive,but did not remember what happened.

I slowed down and went back to read it again.

The pattern was not loud or obvious.

It was quiet, hidden in what did not happen.

I looked at the dates, the places, and the movements.

My breath stopped.

"This is not random, " I said quietly.

It could not be.

There were many gaps, too many people who were still alive.

Someone had seen this before. Someone had hidden it.

My fingers stopped moving over the screen.

"Why?" I asked.

The question came again differently, this time sharper and more focused.

I closed the archive not because I was done but because I was not.

This was not about being efficient, I could feel the change but it would not go back.

"This is tactical, " I said to myself, pushing back from the console.

The words did not feel right because I was not thinking about how to kill him, I was thinking about how to find him.

We were supposed to be in formation, but It was easy to get out of it.

We moved in patterns, each of us covering a part of the area.

I knew the system, I had assisted in making it so it was easy to slip

I took a turn a little early and went a little too far.

No one noticed, no one called out and before they could, I was already gone.

My body moved before I really thought about it, taking me through side streets and narrow passages.

I was following something I could not see but I could feel, that same pressure, faint, familiar, was pulling me.

I did not question it, I just let it guide me.

I found a place to watch from, a spot that looked out over a place where people often go to eat.

It was a place, a place we had used before.

I settled on my back against the stone, my eyes on the alley below.

Hours passed and I did not move.

I did not shift, I did not get restless.

This was not hunting, this was watching, waiting, studying.

The thought came to me slowly and I did not stop.

I felt him before I saw him, the feeling came with a little shift in air and my heart changed, not faster, but different.

Now he was close, closer than before.

My fingers tightened on the edge of the ledge and all my senses were readily awake.

And there in the shadows something moved, an object that did not belong to the dark , but used it.

It was Cassian.

I could step out now, drop down and end it.

The angle was good, the distance was okay.

Everything was ready.

For a second I almost moved. Almost.

My muscles were ready, my breath was still and my focus was narrow.

But I did not move. I stayed where I was, hidden, watching.

He walked through the alley like he owned it like the night adjusted itself for him. His eyes did not look up, his steps did not falter. He did not look for me.

He did not need to, or maybe he already knew.

The thought came, sharp and dangerous.

I stayed still until he was gone after.

My body was still ready to move, ready to strike.

"You let him go, " I said quietly.

The words felt wrong, but they were true.

I had chosen not to act, not now.

And that choice settled inside me.

Back in my quarters I spread the map out on the table.

I marked the places I had seen him, the times, the movements.

Patterns started to appear where they should not be.

Not, for a kill but for a return.

My pen moved slower now, more careful.

I wrote the words carefully.

He is not acting like prey or a predator.

I stared at it.

I felt the shift but it would not go back.

Then I added another one beneath it.

My hand did not shake. My breath did not falter. Something inside of me had already crossed the line.

“I need to know what he is.”

I set the pen down.

I closed the map.

This time.

I did not even try to pretend that I was still just hunting him.