Chapter 1 - At the office

“Hey Ryan” my brother Zan’s voice comes through the speaker when I answer the phone. I look around the now empty office echoes, it’s 15 past knockoff and I’m still here. My boss would curse me out if he knew I was still sitting here. He is a firm believer in work-home balance. He doesn’t want overworked employees, the thought of anyone working past the allocated working hours hurts him physically. Those are his own words, I am not exaggerating. I work at a tech company as the CEO’s personal assistant. My boss Maximus, but we call him Max is the coolest person I know.

He made a fortune creating high-tech security gadgets, he’s a genius and he knows it. But not in an irritating type of way, he’s wealthy and smart but he’s cool. He treats all his employees well. In fact, he treats all human beings well. I love working here and I love my job, which is why I start gathering my stuff so I can leave. I shut down my computer at the thought of having another painstakingly long conversation with my boss about the importance of unplugging.

My phone buzzes as I pick it up to place it into my purse, I look at the caller ID and see my brother’s name. I take a deep breath, I dread talking to my brother. Not that I have him or anything but we have never gelled. He’s way older than me and never took to me like my other siblings I guess.

“Hello,” I answer on the third ring.

“Hey,” he replies through the speaker, sounding as uncomfortable as I am.

“What’s up?” I say bracing for the conversation, I have never been comfortable with my brother. He's always misunderstood me, he doesn’t get me. He has always said  I am too emotional, too open and he could never be like that. So I am always guarded around him, never showing any emotion: never saying too much. I hate that I  reduce myself like that but I am tired of being labeled “over-sensitive, emotional, and all that”.

He usually prefers to talk to me through text but I guess today he decided to go for the phone call, whatever he wants must be important. Our conversations are always limited to three-word texts and instructions. I love him but it seems like we never get it together. The older we get the further apart we grow.

Sometimes I think it’s the age gap but, my sister is way older than me but we get along well. I can’t figure him out

“ I need a favor,  a friend of mine needs to get a package to me and since you’re coming home this weekend can you please get it from him? I would rather not pay for shipping. “ he says getting to the point, something I appreciate since I would rather keep this conversation short anyway.

“Okay just give him my number and we’ll work it out,” I say getting to the point even quicker.

“I will, thanks for your help, we’ll see you this weekend.” He says pausing slightly as if he wanted to say something but doesn’t.

“No problem, see you this weekend,” I say not really knowing what to say. Then he ends the call.

I am looking forward to going home this weekend, I haven’t seen my parents in a while. I know that is going to be a long conversation with my mother. She wants her kids to be home all the time but as life would have it, that isn’t the case. My mother is loving, dotting, and smothering all at the same time. You know how parents like to claim that they love all their children the same? With my mother it’s actually true. She loves all five of us the same. I love how she takes the time to hug each of us every time we go home.

My father likes to joke that she’s trying to reattach herself to us, she doesn’t want to let go of us. My father on the other hand is okay with us leaving when the visit is over. He loves having the house to himself, “no kids or grandkids to mess up his routine” he says. We know he loves us all but he needs his wife and house to himself.

I sit at my desk for a while wondering why I am dreading going home and for a moment I am confused about why I feel that way. Then it hits me, “shit”. I reach for my purse and stand from my desk. I head out of the office through to the elevator.

On my way down to the parking garage, I try to figure out my night. Get home, take a long bath, cook a good dinner, and what? I am not looking forward to the same thing I do every night, I crave adventure. Okay fine, I miss sex.

But I push that thought out of my mind, sex is not on the menu for me tonight and that’s okay. I guess.

So; N*****x and chill? Yoga session? I sigh at the thought of spending another night alone. Don’t get me wrong I don’t hate being by myself, I love it. I enjoy my own company a whole lot but the last few months I have been hearing the silence a little too loudly.

I laugh out loud at how sad I sound

I’ve been single for six months now and I miss contact, I miss being with someone. I don’t miss the complicated bits that come with relationships. That’s the reason I broke up with Reign, my last boyfriend. Things got complicated too quickly and I had to get out.

I take a deep breath memories of us together flooding my brain, we had a good thing going but…

“Get a grip Ryan,” I say to myself as I get out of the elevator and walk to my car. I drive home listening to a podcast, that ought to get me right, I think.

Lonely nights

When I get home I get through my night just as I predicted, home, bath, dinner: bed then N*****x. Halfway through an episode of The Prodigal Son, I find myself bored out of my mind. I just can’t seem to get my mind to settle. “I need sex,” I say to the empty room, and naturally my hand snakes down to my pussy over my pajamas. And my she’s so hot, I can feel my pussy’s heat through my pajama pants.

“Oh my, why are you so hot? ” I ask my pussy as if it’s a person.

“Why are you doing this to me, you know we don’t have anyone to play with. He left 'cause we didn’t want to commit, you know that.” I continue as if someone’s going to answer me. I slowly rub over my pussy and it spasms lightly.

I scream into my bedroom feeling each and every sound, breath, and touch of my sheets.

“ Fuck has it really been that long since I got laid?” I ask genuinely concerned for my health. I know it’s only been six months but yoh! My pussy is acting up.

I reach for my phone, I need to find someone to take the edge off, I know a few who would be willing to get it on. I start going through my contact list. A few names catch my eye, Jude is hot but weird. Zane is too interested, I know that’s just asking for trouble. Sam is an ex, that’s a no-no. After going through my contacts two times over I quit. No one is intriguing enough to take the risk.

I flip on my stomach even more frustrated worse than I was a minute ago. I stand up from the bed walk to the kitchen, and pour a cold glass of water. I stand in the middle of my dark kitchen and down the water: then stare at nothing.

“I am going to sleep,” I say in the dark, sex always gets me all bent and shit. Or lack thereof, that is. I place the empty glass in the sink and walk back to my bedroom and get into bed. I lay there facing the ceiling for what seems like forever. I wait for my body to calm down and give in to the sweetness of sleep. But sleep doesn’t come, all I’m aware of is the constant throb between my legs.

My pussy won’t let me sleep, she is demanding I attend to her now. I finally give in to her and start by taking off my pajama top and caressing my tender and sensitive breasts. I cup each in the palm of my hands and my nipples perk up instantly. I pinch and pull them hard; my hips thrust upward as if receiving a long hard cock. My pussy juices drip with a sweet mixture of pain and pleasure I feel on my boobs. I move my hands down my body caressing my already sensitive skin. My pussy spasms at the anticipation of being fucked with my fingers.

I slowly slip my pajama pants down and off. And I slip my thong down and feel the heat from my pussy. I touch my labia and pull at them softly

“Fuck, you feel so good” I say to myself, I move my fingers to my clit and brush lightly and I am rewarded with a drip of pussy juice. I love my pussy, I think to myself. I slide one finger slowly and stop for a while. I slide it out and have a taste, I love how I taste. I move my hands slowly back down and slide two fingers back in. I open my legs wider and fuck myself hard. I go in and out at a rapid pace and then stop sliding my fingers from the inside of my pussy up to my clit and back down again. I keep doing this until I can’t do it anymore and I come with a cry and my legs shake.

I breathe hard trying to calm my heart and my pussy spasms again. As if thanking me. As I come down from the high, slowly sleep comes, I close my eyes and feel my bed hug me it softly. My mind quiets down letting drift me into a deep sleep.