LOGINADRIANNE
Binomba ko ng binomba ang engine. Narerelax ako kapag naririnig ko ang malakas at bruskong ingay ni Ash. Ang BMW M 1000 XR na ginagamit ko simula nang inumpisahan ko na ang pagbabatay kay Ms. Amber. Nakakastress makita kong gaano sila kalapit ni Asher. Nasasaktan ako sa mga nakikita kong klase ng mga tingin niya sa anak ng boss ko. Mga tingin na punong puno ng pagmamahal na pinapangarap kong sana sa akin niya ibigay. Umalis si Amber papuntang probinsya ng Isabela. I did not want to go after her because if I go I wouldn't be able to see Asher this close everyday but a job is a job. It is my duty to watch over my boss's daughter. Bumuntong hininga ako at pinagmasdan si Amber. Umakyat siya sa treehouse. May kalakasan ang hangin kaya naman sumasabay ang mahaba niyang buhok sa bawat sayaw ng malakas na hangin. She really is beautiful. Her beauty can be compared to goddesses in the movies. Pinapanuod niya ang mga nagtatakbuhang kabayo. Kung ang hanap mo ay katahimikan, perpekto ang lugar na ito. I wish I could buy a ranch like this too. Far from the city. Far from stress and croud. Nagtago ako sa isang malaking puno. May paparating na sasakyan ngunit awtomatiko ang pagsalubong ng mga kilay ko nang makilala ang nagmamay ari ng sasakyan. It was Asher's. Kilalang kilala ko ang numero at uri ng sasakyan niya. Kumalabog ang dibdib ko dala ng excitement. Makikita ko siya. I have been missing her..a lot. Habang papalapit ng papalapit ang sasakyan ay siya namang pagbilis ng tibok ng puso ko. Kumakalabog na parang bola sa gitna ng laro sa basketball. And I couldn't catch enough air to breathe. Huminto ang sasakyan ngunit lumipas na ang ilang segundo ay wala paring Asher ang lumalabas na siyang kinakunot ng noo ko. Hindi ko inalis ang mga mata sa nakasarado at umaandar paring sasakyan. What's taking her long to get out of her car? Is she alright? Is she hurt or something? My mind is urging me to check on her but my duty is blocking me from doing so. My brows furrowed. The loud beating of my heart is deafening me. I couldn't hear anything aside from the loud beating of my heart. She finally open the door and my heart skip a beat. Damn. She's freakingly hot. She's wearing a plain white sando na hapit na hapit sa kanyang katawan and a blue maong short shorts na nagpalitaw sa malagatas niyang mga hita. I swallowed at the beauty in my sight. Siya lang simula't sapul ang kayang baliwin ang puso ko ng ganito. Siya lang ang kaisa isang taong kayang pahintuin ang ikot ng mundo ko but the fact na hanggang kaibigan lang ako sa kanya ang dumudurog sa puso ko ng paulit ulit. Kumuyom ang kamao ko sa sakit na bumalot na namang muli sa puso ko. Tumingala siya sa malaking bakal na gate. Ngumiti ng matamis na punong puno ng excitement. Nilabas niya ang telepono at may tinawagan. Maya't maya ay may lumabas na dalawang lalaki. Ang isa ay nakauniporme ng sa guwardiya. Ang isa ay nakasibilyan. They waved back at my Asher. Binati nila si Asher na para bang matagal nang kakilala. My eyes never left her. She was smiling. Hindi ko marinig ang pinag uusapan nila ngunit nakikita ko kung paano tumango ang dalawang lalaki sa mga sinasabi niya. Her beauty stood out in my sight. Maya't maya ay tinungo nila ang likod ng sasakyan. Binuksan ni Asher ang trunk. Pinagtulongan ng guwardiya at kasama nitong lalaki ilabas ang isang cage na nandoon. Gamit ang telescope ay malinaw kong nakita kung ano ang nilalaman niyon. A Burmese Phyton. I once heard Amber talking about Burmese Phyton. She wanted to buy one but she couldn't because her dad won't let her. Her dad is a tough man but afraid of snakes. Hindi na ako nagulat nang makaramdam ako ng matinding selos dahil sa nakikita ng mga mata ko ngayon. She really loves Amber this much. Kumuyom ang kamao ko sa tindi ng selos na nararamdaman. Binalik ko ang mga mata sa dalagang tahimik dinadama ang bawat hampas ng hangin mula sa treehouse. I envy her. And feel pity for myself. Iyong pangarap ko, siya ang gustong makuha. Hindi ako. Ang pangarap ko siya ang pinapangarap makasama. Pagkapasok nila Asher ay hindi na sila matanaw ng paningin ko. Pumasok siya sa malamansyon na bahay nila Mis Kim at tita Freianne. Freianne Cruz is my mother's cousin. Hindi kami malapit dahil sa amerika ako lumaki kasama ang parents ko but she know my existence as her niece. Ilang sandali pa bumaba na si Amber mula sa treehouse pabalik sa loob ng bahay. Hindi na ako mapakali dahil hindi ko na sila makita. Hindi ko alam kung ano na ang ginagawa nila sa loob. Are they enjoying each others company now? what are they even doing now? Shit I want to see Asher. Bumalik ako sa bigbike ko at lumipat ng puwesto. Mataas ang pader sa likod ng mansyon. Kung aakyatin ko to mas malaki ang chance kong makita kung nasaan sila. Pero mula rito sa likod ng mataas na pader rinig ang lakas ng kahol ng mga aso. Kapag inakyat ko ang pader mas lalo silang magwawala kapag nakita ako. Damn it this is fucking frustrating. Gabi sinetup ko ang tent ko sa kakahuyan. Clear ang paligid kaya naman kampante akong walang mangyayaring masama ngunit ang puso at isip ko hindi mapakali sa kakaisip sa kay Asher. Gabi na, ano na kaya ang ginagawa nila. Takot ang laging bumabalot sa sistema ko sa tuwing magkasama ang dalawa. Kinaumagahan maaga akong gumayak at nagbantay sa labas ng gate. Umaasang makikita ko ang dalawa. Ngunit hindi ko naihanda ang sarili sa nakikita ng mga mata ko sa mga oras na ito. Nagpunta ang dalawa sa treehouse at mula rito sa kinatatayuan ko kitang kita ko kung paanong maglapat ang kanilang mga labi. Nagulat ako at hindi napigilan ang mga luha kong nag unahan sa pagtakas mula sa mga mata ko. Inaangkin ni Amber ang mga labi ni Asher na dapat ay akin lang.. Ang mga labing ilang dekada ko nang inaasam na maangkin. It's a torture for me to witness how their lips collide to each others mouth but my eyes couldn't move nor stop looking at them. Watching them with so much pain wrapping my whole system. Kung maidedefine ko lang ang mundo ko ngayon, wala na. Wala na ang sampung porsyentong pag asang mayroon ako. Gumuho na literally ang mundo ko sa nasisilayan ng mga mata ko. And the worst part is, I cannot do anything but to just endure this fucking pain. Hindi ko matagalan ang lambingan at yakapan nila kaya kahit alam kong labag sa trabaho ko ay umalis ako. Malawak ang munisipalidad ng Cauayan. May malaking mall ngunit kaliwa't kanan rin ang traffic dahil sa dami ng mga namamasadang tricycle. Pinarada ko si Ash sa harapan ng Trias Grill. Umorder ako ng sampung SanMig light. Binuksan ang isa at tinungga. Wala pang laman ang tiyan ko but I don't give a damn. All I want now is to lessen the pain in my damn shit. "ohhh easy girl" tiningala ko ang babaeng nakatayo sa harapan ko. Nakahalukipkip at nakangisi sa akin. "Tsk...what the shit are you doing here Red?" binagsak ko ang boteng hawak at pinunasan ang labi gamit ang likod ng palad ko. Hinatak niya ang upuan sa harapan ko and settled herself as she stares at the bottles in my table. Kinuha ang isa at tinungga. "Agang paglalasing nito ahh. Problema?" tinitigan niya ako. I looked away. Nilaro laro niya ang boteng hawak habang sa akin nakatuon ang kanyang mga mata. Naramdaman ko ang pagbabadya ng luha sa mga mata ko and so I blink back my tears and cleared my throat. Pulling myself together. "The thing is it is none of your business" walang gana kong segunda. She laughed at me. Sinalubong ko ang mga mapaglaro niyang mga mata at inirapan dahilan upang magpakawala pa ito ng mas nakakainis na tawa. "Ohhh sa puso ba yan?" she asked digging for more information. But sounds more like teasing. I sighed and didn't say any. Muli niyang tinungga ang boteng hawak at kapagdakay binura ang ngiti sa kanyang labi. Seryoso niya akong tinitigan. "You love her but why not tell her? Mabuti kong malaman niya ang nararamdaman mo. Ilang taon na yan Adrianne pero tinatago mo yang nararamdaman mo. Don't you think it's time to confess how you feel for her?" I could feel her concern toward me. Nagsalubong ang mga mata namin. Now I see nothing but concern in her eyes. I swallowed. The soft side of her is now staring at me. "I can't" tila may bumara sa lalamunan ko. Naiiyak ako sa bigat na nararamdaman ko. Pinagsalikop ko ang mga daliri sa ibabaw ng lamesa at yumuko. Ayaw kong may nakakakita ng ganitong estado ko. "You can but you are just scared. Takot kang i-reject niya tama ba? Pero araw araw kang masasaktan kapag hindi mo nailabas yan at masabi sa kanya ang nararamdaman mo. The only way out for that pain is to tell her your feeling toward her. Trust me bro mababawasan yang sakit at bigat na nararamdaman mo kapag nasabi mo na sa kanya ang nararamdaman mo." Namuo ang luha sa gilid ng mga mata ko. Umiling ako at inubos ang laman ng boteng hawak. Tinitigan ako ni Red. Her soft eyes telling me how much she cares for me. Red was one of my savior from the kidnapping 5 years ago. She treated me like her sister since I decided to take the training and be one of them. "I don't want to gumble our friendship. Iyon nalang ang pinanghahawakan ko sa kanya. Iyon nalang ang natatanging koneksyon ko sa kanya. At ayaw kong pati iyon masira ko." tears rolled down my cheeks. I silently wiped my tears using the back of my hand. Red heaved out a heavy sigh. Nilalaro ng hinlalaki niya ang bunganga ng boteng hawak na ngayon ay halos paubos na ang laman. "Then bear the pain. But for now let's just drink and try to lessen that pain." tinungga niya ang bote at inubos ang laman. Sinundan ko ang galaw niya. Tumayo si Red at nginitian ako na tila may naisip na ideya. "Come with me. May alam akong lugar na makakapagpagaan ng loob mo." umiling ako at binuksan ang isa pang bote pero bago ko pa maitungga ay naagaw niya na iyon sa akin at lapag sa lamesa. "trust me bro. You'll like the place". She smile softly.ADRIENNE Two weeks. It has been two weeks since I was last with Asher. That was the day she brought me to her office. We didn't get to eat that day because of a call from someone who could make her rush with just a single phone call. She scrambled to leave the cafeteria that day without even saying goodbye to me. She just left without a word, as if a single call made my existence in front of her vanish. Like I was nothing but a nobody in front of her. Hanggang ngayon sa tuwing naaalala ko ang nangyaring iyon sumisikip parin ang dibdib ko. I felt neglected and unwanted. It feels good to love. LOVE is just a four-letter word, yet it means so much. Loving really does feel wonderful, but the pain that comes with it never truly goes away because not all love is returned equally to what you are able to give. Humigpit ang hawak ko sa baseball bat na kanina pa nasasakal sa higpit ng hawak ko. Kung nakakapagsalita lamang siguro ito ay kanina pa ito nagreklamo. Pakiramdam ko nabubuhos k
ADRIENNE An hour has passed since Asher went out for the meeting and until now she hasn't return back yet. I also wanted to see her at the meeting. I want to witness how she faces and talks with her business partners and investors, but I thought maybe that's already too much to ask of her. I'm afraid that next time, she might not bring me here to her office anymore. I let out a sigh and crossed my legs. In front of me were neatly stacked magazines. I leaned forward and looked through them one by one. I was halfway through when a beautiful photograph caught my attention. It was Amber, featuring her very own Amber's Height. It turns out they added new rides and activities like a cable car and sky bike. They launched it just last month. She looked beautiful and radiant in here. So it’s no wonder she completely captured Asher's heart. I bit my lip as a pang of pain hits my soul. I am not insecure of her but I won't deny that I am envious of her. That she has the eye of Asher. Tiniti
ADRIENNEA week has passed and Blue still hasn't woken up. She was shot in the chest which almost killed her. Amber and Asher's engagement has also been canceled too. Asher chose to let go. I admire her for letting the woman she loved go even though she is struggling and hurting right now. I stared at the woman who is now peacefully sleeping in front of my eyes. Looking so pale and lifeless. Mouth partly agape as she cutely snorts slowly. She was wasted. I can't take my eyes off of her. Her wound is now healing but the trauma keeps on haunting her every night whenever she is asleep as she told me. She looks fragile and delicate and I love her so much that it hurts. It hurts seeing her in pain.She doesn't speak. She doesn't say how she really feels but I can feel her pain. She's trying and I know she does. Kung ako nalang sana. That's what I always ask god, but because I'm just a mere sinner to him, he doesn't grant it, he seems to never listen to any of my pleas. A
ADRIENNE Dalawang araw ang nilagi ni Blue sa hospital. She was supposed to stay there for a week pero dahil si Blue siya ay walang nagawa ang doctor kundi ang payagan siyang lumabas. Two days have passed and we still have no leads about Amber and Asher's whereabouts. With each passing day and hour I feel like I'm going to lose my mind. Red and I have done everything to trace their whereabouts but it looks like Aira has everything planned well. That phsyco bitch. It turns out that she only befriended Blue so that she could keep her away from Amber. Well, she succeeded, but maybe when she found out that there was another woman in Amber's life after everything she did, she came back. And the bad thing is that we all have no idea that she has been obsessed with Amber for a long time. Obsessed to the point that she was able to keep Caitlin away and locked her up for over a year. How crazy she is. Pathetic phsyco. Nandito ako ngayon sa karinderya sa mismong harapan ng kumpanya
ADRIENNE I wince in pain. My head is throbbing like hell. I massage my temple and groan. I slowly open my eyes and fuck I am very much familiar with this room. Freaking hell not again. Damn it, no no no not again. I tried to recall why I am here..... but I don't remember anything. Sapo sapo ang ulo kong bumangon at umupo sa malambot na kama. Bumaba ang kumot sa katawan ko kaya bumaba ang mga mata ko sa suot. Iba na ang suot ko. I am now wearing a navy blue cotton pajama. Who changed my clothes? darn it..I should stop drinking na talaga. Nagkaka-amnesia ako kinabukasan and I hate that I couldn't remember any single details on how I got here again. Ang natatandaan ko lang ay may lalaking lumapit sa akin at hinawakan ako then may babaeng......fuck don't tell me it was Amber again who found me in the same situation just like the first time she saw me a month ago?? Tangna talaga. I shook my head but ended up groaning dahil sa pagpintig ng sintido ko. Bumangon ako at tinungo ang
ADRIENNEPinagmasdan ko sila and I couldn't deny the fact that they're really look good together. They are both holding a glass of wine as they're sweetly talking to each other. I could see from here the eyes of Asher, how she looked at her woman. Looked that I wished was given to me.Makikita sa bawat mukha ng lahat ng nandito ang galak sa nangyayari. Bakas sa mga mukha nila ang saya. Mga mahihinang halaklak at kalansing ng mga plato at palitan ng salita ang nagsisilbing ingay sa aking pandinig.Binaba ko ang hawak na kupita at muling nagsalin. Nakalahati ko na pala itong wine na dinampot ko kanina. Gusto ko nang umalis rito dahil pakiramdam ko hindi ako makahinga.All their reactions are suffocating me. Am I bad to feel this way? Am I bad that I am hurt seeing them this happy? tangna, I should be happy coz Amber accepted her but why now I wish that this should not the result..why in my mind I wish Amber had rejected her instead.A bitter smile tugged at my lips. Playing the gl







