Chapter 3 – Falling Apart

“He called me a b*tch.” A bitter chuckle escaped Leal’s lips as she wrapped up storytelling time with that statement. Izzy’s lipstick-coated lips hung open, disbelief and judgment visible in her eyes.

“He did what?!” she shrieked. “How could he? Who does he think he is?!”

Leal shrugged and took a sip of her water. She’s too exhausted to even bother to spit insults at him. I’m sure his conscience is doing its job. She thought.

“And what’s even more bothersome is how violent he was towards you that night! What kind of sane boyfriend would do that?! How many times did he hit you?”

Once again, Leal shrugged. “I didn’t count them. All I know is that they hurt... a lot.”

Izzy aggressively combed her luscious blonde locks and stared at her with an unreadable expression. She was frowning and looked deep into her thoughts. Then, her eyes suddenly lit up as she thought of an idea.

“What if he was…” She leaned into her to whisper, “Gay...”

Leal’s brows rose at her incredulous hypothesis. Is she for real? “Why did you say that?”

“Well, think about it. Why would he so drunkenly force you to have s*x, and then leave so hurriedly? Was it because he was in the middle of an identity crisis and regretted what he asked—” She cut herself off as she leaned back. “What if he was having an affair with a man and asked you for s*x because he was in doubt? Then, he got frustrated and got violent towards you?”

Leal leaned back on Izzy’s couch and held the glass of water close to her chest, with the blanket draped on her lap. She stared at her, probably for too long, because Izzy gave her a weird look.

Leal replied, chuckling, and not taking her best friend’s hypotheses seriously. “Thanks for attempting to lighten up my mood.”

The gloomy day eventually passed as she handed in a sick day at work, spending it looking off at the blinding city lights from Izzy’s balcony, sipping tea, and feeling the humid air of the night sky. Once the sun had set, it was the moon’s time to shine. Ever since, Leal has always loved the moon. It stood tall despite the grim darkness surrounding it. She has always felt so close to it.

Raising her shivering hands, she imagined as if she were grabbing the crescent satellite, yearning for a touch. She fluttered her eyes close, somewhat feeling an unfamiliar texture. Like the texture of surface sand grazing her palm, the energy built up within her and immediately dispersed once she dropped her hands back into her lap.

Leal sighed. What is happening to me? She thought. She’s been feeling strange all day, and she knows she’s usually not like this. Is this a post-breakup stimulant?

“Leal, you passed a manuscript with so many errors! Did you edit them?” Leal’s boss placed a thick pile of paperwork on the table, startling her. She opened a folder of the manuscript she had passed and immediately saw that it had obvious errors. But I was sure I corrected those earlier!

“I’m sorry, Sir. I’ll make sure to fix them,” Leal apologetically replied and opened the other folders.

The following days were worse than she anticipated. Leal was dull and was all over the place, especially at work. She tended to skip so many errors, which was so unlike her, a perfectionist, and passed the wrong files every so often. She would also flinch every time one of her workmates touched her, remembering the night that Dion hammered her fragile head with his liquor bottle—then she’d flinch and move away.

“Leal,” she looked up to see Ellie’s frowning face. “Are you okay?” She asked, worry evident in her voice.

Leal smiled reassuringly. “Of course, what’s up?”

Ellie sighed and enveloped her in a hug, which startled her at first, but she quickly regained her composure and slightly hugged her back. I’ve only been like this for a week. Is it that obvious?

“Ellie?”

Leal panicked when she heard her sniffing. She was about to push her back to confirm if she was crying, but she tightened the hug. “No, don’t. I’m just too emotional, I guess. Probably because of this thing growing inside me.”

Her eyes widened at her close friend’s revelation. This time, she pulled out of the embrace to gape at her smiling face. “You’re pregnant?!” Leal whispered, trying not to disturb our workmates.

She grinned, wiping her tears and nodding. “I just found out earlier that my fiancé has been trying a few times. I guess it finally happened.”

She smiled sincerely, “I’m so happy for you! But why were you crying? Was that the reason?”

“Leal, our boss asked you to come to see him in his office.” The glint in Ellie’s eyes disappeared, her smile now erased. Worry crossed Leal’s system. What would he want?

Leal took a deep breath before knocking on the mahogany door. Their boss has always been strict, so maybe he’s going to talk to her about her recent performance. I hope I don’t get fired...

She clenched her fists and knocked. She heard a faint ‘Come in’ before twisting the doorknob and pushing the door open. Leal took a peek inside and saw her boss busily signing papers, but stopped when he saw her enter.

The door creaked open, disturbing the peace of his office. Closing the door, Leal silently occupied a seat in the chair in front of his table.

“You called for me?”

He nodded, and he had a pitiful expression as he clasped his hands together on top of his table.

“Ms. Horryn, you have been an outstanding employee during your work here. We were planning on giving you a promotion, but considering your performance this past week, I don’t think we’ll be doing that anymore. And I also think you already know where this is going.”

Leal’s gaze dropped to her lap as she anxiously fiddled with her fingers. It’s happening. I can’t believe my once-perfect life is now falling apart. She thought. Her lips quivered as she hoped to look for a new job soon.

“I’m sorry, Leal. But you’re going to have to get a box and take your belongings from your desk. It’s been a good three years,” he apologetically informed.

A miserable sigh escaped her lips as she stood up, the earlier excitement from Ellie’s pregnancy completely gone.

“I understand, I guess I should go now.”

He didn’t reply to anything and instead let her leave peacefully. Her shoulders dropped, and her eyes were full of sorrow. Slowly, Leal picked up a spare box from under her desk and started packing her belongings. Her workmates gave her pitiful eyes, which made her avoid eye contact. When she finished, she turned to Ellie.

“I want to come to her christening. You know how to contact me. See you,” Leal smiled and kissed her cheeks. She’s been the nicest to her, and she’ll treasure that forever. Ellie slowly nodded as her eyes shone with unshed tears.

Walking out of the company she served for three years, with her box full of belongings in her hand and her heart heavy with sadness, was never part of her life plan. This was her dream job, and she couldn’t believe she just lost it in a matter of a week due to poor performance. Just when this year started, Leal thought her life was perfect. She was happy. But she thinks this is what happens when you’re too joyous.

When your life is too well-put-together, don’t expect it to last long. Because it never does.

Nothing lasts forever; everything falls apart eventually.

As she stepped out of the building, she stopped to look back at the tall building that had kept her financially stable for the past three years. She’s thankful for the opportunity to temporarily live her dream life, but she’s afraid she’s going to have to exit the dream life now. It’s not meant for her. When is she ever fated for something good and permanent?