Chapter 1

Lyra:

I was still smelling of sweat and sex. There was this kind of feeling that I usually get when we just finished having sex, but I wasn't feeling it. 

I mean, me and my best friend Ronan… the way he usually held me after and I knew anyone would think, your best friend? You think you are going to end up together?

I never questioned it before. 

Not until today. 

He rolled away from the bed while I lay there staring at the ceiling, my chest still rising too fast. 

“Ronan?” I nudged his arm with my foot. “You’re being weird. What’s wrong?”

He didn’t look at me. Just sat up, dragged a hand through his perfectly styled hair, already slipping back into that composed version of himself that he wore most times when he was talking to his father.  

“This is over,” he said. 

My breath caught. 

“We are done,” he repeated like I didn’t hear him the first time.

I scoffed. “Done with what?”

He finally glanced back at me, like he was annoyed I needed clarification. “This. Us. Whatever you thought this was.”

A laugh slipped out of me before I could stop it. “Okay… funny. Seriously though…what do you mean?”

He walked toward the bathroom, completely naked and unbothered. “I mean exactly what I said, Lyra.”

My blood boiled. 

“No,” I said, sitting up now, pulling the sheet around me. “No, you don’t get to say it like that and walk away. You’re acting like we are in some relationship breakup. Since when do we have something to end?”

He paused slightly at the door, eyebrows raised. “Exactly.”

I swallowed hard, clutching my sheets tighter to myself. I had known Ronan since I was fifteen but it had been four years since we had been hooking up… he couldn’t just end four years with just three words. 

No, there was even nothing to end. 

I was supposed to be his forever. 

“Ronan… I need you to be fucking explicit with me. Why?” my voice broke. “This doesn’t make sense”

“I’m getting married.”

I laughed. 

“Married?” I repeated. “Okay. Wow. That’s…” I shook my head. “That’s a good one.”

But he wasn’t laughing. We always joked about something like this, about leaving each other but when I looked into his face. I saw that he was actually serious. 

My chest tightened painfully. 

“Let me guess. This is some joke your friend put you up to, right? Like back then?”

My mind flashed back to four years ago when we had been dragged into a stupid drunken game and ended up locked in a room. Well, that night changed everything. 

God, I was such an idiot. 

Ronan sighed. “It’s not a joke.”

I couldn’t talk. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t even breathe. 

I pushed the sheet off my body and stood, ignoring how exposed I was. He had seen everything anyway. “What about the ring?”

His eyes narrowed. “What about it?”

“The one you hid in your drawer.” I said quickly. 

Shock crossed through his face. “You went through my things?”

“Don’t flip this on me,” I snapped. “Why do you have a ring if you are actually planning to end this?”

His jaw twitched. “It wasn’t for you to find.”

 My hands fell to my hip. “Clearly. But I did. And I also remember you grabbing my hand last week and measuring my finger like some sketchy jeweler.”

I shivered and I didn’t know if it was from the cold biting my skin or because of what was happening. 

“Damn… it’s not for you!” he said and my stomach dropped. “I have a girl that I want to propose to and uh… the both of you seem to use the same measurement, so I used yours.”

I couldn’t breathe. 

“You used my hand,” I repeated slowly, “to size a ring… for another woman?”

“Yes.”

He said it just like that, his expression not revealing any form of guilt. 

“Who is she?”

“Elara.”

“She’s…” I swallowed. “You’ve been seeing her for what, a month?”

He shrugged. “Close enough”

I let out a breath, shaking my head. “A month. You’re marrying someone you’ve known for a month?”

“When you know. You know”

Wow. 

Just wow. 

“Wait…” he said, frowning. “You thought…”

“Thought what?” I asked, cutting in. 

“You thought I was going to propose to you?” he finished, amusement clear in his tone. 

Heat crept up my spine. I suddenly felt exposed in front of him. I ignored him and put on my robe. 

If I said no, I would be lying. 

He was right. 

I had even gone to buy a new dress excitedly, it was still hanging in my wardrobe where I kept it. 

Even when we didn’t put a name to our relationship, I thought he felt the same way I did. 

“It’s always been casual, Lyra. You know that.”

“Casual?” I laughed bitterly, “you’ve been sleeping with me for four years while planning to marry someone else, and you can open your mouth and call this casual?”

He stalked towards me. “I can’t marry someone like you, Lyra.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“You are too lose… you open your legs for any man to fuck you…”

“Ronan!” I screamed, tears burned at the back of my eyes. How could he be saying something like this? “You were the one who took my virginity. You know I haven’t slept with anyone else other than you.”

“You?” he asked in disbelief. “You actually want me to believe that? You have no boundaries. My family has standards, Lyra. You don’t fit into that.”

My nails dug into my palm. 

“Wow… that’s a new one,” I said, trying to steady my trembling voice. “You didn’t think that I didn't fit into your family standards when I cleaned your mother’s vomit, when I bathed her, when I did everything for you. It never crossed your mind.”

He opened his mouth. Closed it. 

He grabbed onto my cheeks and kissed my forehead. “We don’t need to argue about this, sweetheart. I’m sure both of you would get along.”

Fuck, I wanted to scream. But I just stood there, barely holding myself together as he rested his forehead on mine. 

My body betrayed me by leaning closer. 

Before I could respond, his phone rang. He pulled it out of his pockets and my eyes glanced at the name on the screen. 

Elara. The woman he chose.