Chapter 2

Ronan walked out on me, leaving me standing in the room like an idiot. Wow, I should have seen this sooner. 

My chest hurt like hell, but I forced a laugh anyway. It was the only thing I could do right now. 

I was in the middle of changing my clothes when I heard someone screaming my name. A frantic knock came on my door. 

“Lyra!” 

I froze. The door burst open and one of the maids rushed in, Maria, her face pale. 

“Miss Lyra, please… Madam is having another episode!”

Oh shit! I shoved everything aside as I started moving. I didn’t even bother to zip my top and rushed out of the room. 

Because no matter what happened between the both of us… his mother needed me and that was the fucked up part. I still cared. 

Margaret, Ronan’s mother had taken care of me like her own daughter. I felt like I owed her a lot and there was nothing I could do to pay it back. 

She was gasping when I got there, her weak body trembling against the bed as she clutched her chest. 

“Mrs. Cole,” I said quickly, moving to her side. “Hey, Hey, I’m here now. Breathe, okay? Just breathe.”

Her eyes found mine immediately and she sighed. “Lyra…”

“I’ve got you,” I said softly as I searched for the medications that I usually kept in the drawer.  

Maria hovered behind me. “Should I call the doctor again?”

I shook my head. “Let me stabilize her first.”

It had been two years. Two years of taking care of Ronan’s mother. I knew exactly what to do, how to calm her down, how to ease her breathing. 

The doctor didn’t know what was wrong but whenever she used the medication he had prescribed, she usually felt better. 

And sometimes it got worse that we would have to rush her to the hospital. 

But I didn’t think she needed a hospital. 

“Breathe in… and out,” I murmured, holding her hand. “You are doing good.”

Her grip on my hand tightened. It was like she was holding on for her dear life and maybe she was. It took minutes before her breathing finally began to even out. 

I motioned for Maria to leave. I could handle it from here on. 

I let out a quiet breath, brushing a hand over her hair. 

There was usually a jug of water and a cup beside her. I stood up from the bed and poured her a cup of water. 

Her face softened when she drank the water. 

“You are okay now,” I whispered with a smile. The smile didn’t reach my ears but I needed to pretend everything was fine. “What happened?”

“I heard voices…” She croaked out. “You and Ronan were arguing.”

“No…”

“It’s fine. You can talk to me, Lyra. Is something wrong going on between the both of you?”

“Mum,” I said, forcing a laugh. She had always wanted me to call her mum. “We were just talking. It’s nothing.”

She raised her brows. “It doesn’t sound like nothing.”

To be honest, I wanted to tell her everything. How her son had just ripped me apart like I meant nothing. 

That I had been stupid enough to think that I mattered to him. So stupid that I built my whole life around him. 

But I didn’t. Because what would change? Maybe she would tell him to cancel the engagement. I mean, I knew she would want me to get married to her son. 

Still, I would be stuck in a life where I wasn’t happy. I would be with a man who didn’t even regard me at all. 

And maybe it would be better to be with him because I had nothing. 

“We’re fine,” I insisted. 

She urged me closer to her and I moved. 

She placed her hands on mine. “You’re the only one I trust. The only one who understands what I need. Please, If Ronan offends you, forgive him for my sake. Don’t leave him”

Fuck. 

That hurt more than anything Ronan said. She meant it. And I hated to lie to her but I had no other choice. “Of course, not”

Her shoulder relaxed. “I don’t know what I would do without you.”

I swallowed hard. Yeah, that made two of us. I stayed until she fell asleep. Made sure her breathing was steady and she was okay. 

Because it would be the last time. 

My chest tightened again. Because the worst part? I had done everything he wanted. Every fucking thing. 

I took care of his mother. I stayed when he needed me. I gave him everything he asked for, even the part of myself I should have kept. 

All because I thought…

God, I thought he would choose me. 

I stood from the bed and walked to my room. I stopped by the door. My room? No, not anymore. I pushed the door open. 

“I can’t stay here,” I whispered. 

No way. I couldn’t wake up every day knowing he was planning a life with someone else. 

Fuck that, I straightened. I was leaving. I was about to start packing when I suddenly remembered that everything I had…my clothes, shoes, the things I used daily. Even the damn phone in my hand. 

It all traced back to him. 

So, I didn't pack. I didn’t grab anything, other than my phone because I had nothing else. I ran out of the house without looking back. Thankfully, no one stopped me. Not even Maria who had screamed to know where I was going. 

I had no idea. 

My feet carried me down to a place I came to regularly when everything seemed to be too much. The beach. 

I stumbled onto the sand, my legs finally giving out. 

I dropped to my knees. 

I tried not to think. I tried not to feel. I tried not to fall apart. I started walking down the shore when my leg caught something solid. 

“What the…”

I didn’t even have time to react. My body lurched forward…

“Oh shit…”

The world disappeared under me as I hit the water. I was consumed by shock. I flailed, trying to push myself up. 

“I…”

Water filled my mouth. My heart was pounding in my chest. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t… Oh my God. 

I couldn’t swim.