His Loss: My Ex Husband Wants Me Back

Elara’s POV

I'm here to make peace or to simply see to the end of this.  I really didn’t care anymore, I just wanted to see him. Just one last time.  And that's when the door opened quietly.

Cassian Hale walked in dressed in a  dark suit, an ideal tie,  and his cold eyes that never for once flinched when they met with mine. He hesitated for a second when he saw me, and then went on to his desk.

“I didn’t think it’d be you, yourself, who’d come,” he said coolly, as he dropped a pile of documents on his desk. 

“You filed it,” I said, my tone neutral, “and I thought that at least you would want to look me in the eye when you signed it.”

He looked at the manila envelope that rested on the table between us  the divorce papers.  I had signed them last night.  With my trembling fingers, while struggling to convince myself that it was  nothing more than a piece of paper.

He sat down, clicked the lid off a pen and signed, at the bottom of the pages without hesitating. One  stroke after another. Like it meant nothing. Like I had meant nothing.

“I will have my lawyer wire the final settlement,” he said, without looking up to meet my gaze.

I studied his face. Sharp jawline, perfectly combed hair, and not a single hair out of place. The man seated before me had returned home two weeks ago, late that night, and thrusted these papers at me, telling me, “This isn’t working anymore, Elara.” He didn't give me an explanation or whatsoever. But what he didn't know; what I never told him; was that I already knew the reason. 

Two weeks prior to the day he handed those papers to me, I saw him. I’d come home early from a charity dinner, which he’d told me he’d had to miss because of work. I went up in the back elevator to his private office on the twentieth floor. I wasn’t trying to catch him, I only brought him coffee as a peace offering. We had been apart and I thought that perhaps, a little gesture would be helpful?

But when the elevator doors opened, it wasn’t greeted by a hum from a conference call or a glow from his laptop. I heard a woman laughing, and then I saw them.

She was seated on his desk, his hands were on her thigh and he was smiling. The one of the few, genuine smiles he used to give me years ago back when we were something other than this present version of ourselves. I recognized the lady immediately. She was Juliette, his new assistant. Only twenty-six, yet always known. I had known about them before then, but getting to see it happen in person, … it did something to me.

I didn't confront him.

Instead, I placed the coffee on the reception table and bolted. The following night, he handed me the papers. I didn’t ask why, and he  didn’t give me a reason. I had promised myself that I wouldn’t cry. That I would wait and watch him instead. I had been carrying my documents in my purse for two weeks. I stared at them in coffee shops, in bed at night, on the subway. 

But I signed them last night.

Not because I finally got tired and stopped caring. No. But it was because I had cared for too long and too quietly. And perhaps that was my mistake. I had loved him in silence, let his distance pass for normal, excused the way he hardly glanced at me over dinners and kept my texts on read for hours.

I cleared my throat. “Is that all?”

Cassian turned serious and finally lifted his gaze to meet mine. His eyes scanned me over like he was looking for some evidence of pain. But I was too smart to hand that to him.

“You’re going to keep the penthouse,” he said. “And the shares. The accounts are…”

“Keep it, I don’t want any of it,” I broke in, as I  got up. “I already messaged your lawyer to reject the settlement.”

He blinked. “What?”

“I’m not taking your money, Cassian.” I stood and met his eyes. “I just want to forget about you.” I watched his jaw clenched. And for a moment, it seemed like he was going to say something. But whatever words he was thinking of, he swallowed them all back down as he sat back in his chair and squinted just a little.

“You’re making this unnecessarily dramatic.”

“No,” I whispered, “you already did that when you straight replaced me.”

And with that, I turned to go. I didn’t look back. I didn’t want him to get to see the reflection of  the ache that was growing in my  chest.  He didn't deserve that hole into my heart. Not after he had picked someone else over the promises we’d made, over the life we’d been building together.

I convinced myself that I knew this was what was best for me.  And that if I could leave without receiving a dime from him, it meant that I was actually free.  As I had no ties, no settlements  and definitely no reminders of anything the had ever given to me. 

I stretched one hand to the door’s handle, my fingers completely in control though everything about me was shaking.

This wasn't a loss for me. 

It was freedom.

At the very least, it would be  what I had hoped it would be. And with that, I pushed the door open and walked out of Cassian Hale’s life for good.