5: The Beta Knows

XAVIER

Kane was trying to claw his way out of my chest.

GO BACK. FOLLOW HER. PROTECT HER.

“No,” I muttered, pacing my apartment like a caged animal. “We can’t. She’s human. She’s engaged. She has her own problems and we have ours.”

OURS. SHE’S OURS.

“She’s not anyone’s,” I growled. “And especially not ours. She doesn’t even know what we are, and she can never find out.”

A knock at my door interrupted the internal argument that had been raging in my head for the past three days.

Falcon didn’t wait for an invitation. My best friend and unofficial Beta, Falcon let herself in with the spare key I’d given her years ago, carrying two coffees and wearing an expression that said she wasn’t leaving until we talked.

“You look like hell,” she observed, dropping onto my couch and pushing one of the coffees toward me. “Actually, you look worse than hell. You look like hell’s hungover cousin who got hit by a truck.”

“Thanks, Falcon. Real supportive.”

“I’m serious, X. You’ve been weird all week. Snapping at pack members, spacing out during training, and yesterday you nearly shifted in the middle of the weight room because someone dropped a barbell too close to your feet.” She leaned forward, her dark eyes sharp and searching. “Your father called me this morning asking if you were sick or if there was a problem he needed to know about.”

“What did you tell him?”

“That you were fine, of course. Just stressed about school.” She took a sip of her coffee. “But we both know that’s bullshit. So talk to me. What’s really going on?”

I sank into the chair across from her, running my hands over my face. The stubble on my jaw reminded me I hadn’t bothered to shave in days. I hadn't bothered to do much of anything except try to ignore the howling in my head.

“I found my mate,” I said finally.

She didn’t say anything for a moment. Then she gasped loudly.

“Holy shit.”

“Yeah.”

“Who is she? Is she pack? From another territory?” Falcon set down her coffee, suddenly all business. “Please tell me she’s not from the Western pack because your father will lose his mind if you’re trying to mate across territory lines—”

“She’s human.”

She froze, her mouth hanging open. “What?”

“She’s human. A transfer student. One hundred percent human.” I laughed, but it sounded bitter even to my own ears. “And completely, absolutely off-limits.”

“Xavier, that’s not possible. Wolves don’t mate with humans. It doesn’t work that way. The bond can’t form unless—”

“I know what the rules are, Falcon. I know what’s supposed to be possible.” I stood, resuming my pacing because sitting still felt like trying to cage lightning. “But I’m telling you, the moment I saw her, Kane claimed her. And every second I’m around her, it gets worse. The pull. The need. The absolute fucking certainty that she’s mine.”

“Shit.” Falcon leaned back, processing. “Does she know? About you?”

“No. And she can never find out.”

“Why not?”

“Because she’s engaged to some asshole who terrifies her. Because her father has security teams tracking her movements. She ran away from her own engagement party and she’s trying to survive the next three months until they drag her back.” I stopped pacing, meeting Falcon’s eyes. “And because my father would kill us both if he found out.”

That made Falcon go still in a way that meant she understood exactly how serious I was.

“You really think he’d go that far?”

“You know how he feels about anything that threatens pack security, weakness and divided loyalties.” I laughed again. “A human mate? He’d see it as the ultimate betrayal. Proof that I’m not fit to lead.”

He has been looking for reasons and this would be the perfect one.

“So what are you going to do?”

“Stay away from her. Let her make the team because she earned it, she’s good enough. I’ll treat her like any other player and keep my distance.”

It sounded impossible even to my own ears but I had to make myself believe it. “As long as I can ignore Kane’s howling until eventually he accepts that we can’t have her, I'll be fine.”

Falcon’s eyes soften and she reaches a hand toward me. I kept pacing. “Xavier—”

“What choice do I have?” I turned to face her, knowing the desperation showed in my eyes. “I can’t claim her. I can’t tell her what I am. And I sure as hell can’t protect her from whatever mess she’s running from without making everything infinitely worse.”

Falcon was quiet for a long moment.

“This is going to destroy you,” she said finally. “Being near her and not being able to claim her. Your wolf won’t stop. It’ll just get worse. Every day, every interaction, the bond will get stronger until you can’t control it anymore.”

“I know. That is the only way and I have to learn to live with it.”

“Unless…” I paused hearing Falcon’s voice. Knowing exactly what she was going to say. “Unless, you challenge your father for the alpha position.”