His Past Haunts Me

The weather in New York is so annoying, this minute the sun is shining, the next minute it is raining heavily. 

I'm just thankful that I was able to get a ride home from the nerdy guy in my department. I don't remember his name and I don't think it is the right time to ask for his name.

“Thank you for the ride, I'm so grateful”

“You are welcome. See you at work tomorrow, bye.”

I thanked him once more as I got out of the car, and raced to the house. It is raining heavily and I don't want to get myself wet.

Quickly opening the door as the sound of the thunder grew louder, I walked into the house and noticed it was messier than usual.

What the hell?

I picked up the scattered clothes on the floor when I heard Derek’s voice  

 "Who is he?” Derek asked as He walked down the stairs. 

“ Who?” 

“The guy I saw you coming out of his car.”

“That's my colleague at work, he helped me with a ride home because of the rain”

“He helped me with a ride,” he said in a mocking tone. “Didn’t we have an agreement, no male friends?”

“He's not a friend Derek, he just works in my department, and the only reason he dropped me off was because of the rain”

“What's the difference, He is a man, Mia. A man.  We agreed no relationship with the opposite..”

“Not today Derek” I faced him as I cut him off “Do you expect me to reject a kind offer and walk home in the rain?”

 “Well you could have waited till it stopped raining,” he replied nonchalantly.

I was angry at this point. How did I fall in love with this cruel man? How?

“What is wrong with you Derek?” 

“Do you ever pause to think before you talk? 

“You expect me to wait at the office at this late hour because you don't like it when another man drives me home?”

“If you hated the thought so much why didn't you pick me up from the office?”

“Now you just sound stupid Mia. You can see that it’s raining, how do you expect me to drive in this weather?”

Wow.. Mia. This is what you have been living with.

“I'm tired Derek. I'm tired of you continuously needing me to reassure you that I won't cheat on you. I'm tired of carrying the burdens of your insecurities from your past relationship. I can't do this anymore.”

“My insecurities?” he said as he moved closer to me.

“Yes, your insecurities” I knew where this was getting to but I did not want to stop “You know at this point I shouldn’t be surprised by anything you say, you make excuses for your wrongdoings, then raise an alarm for every single thing I do.” His hand met my cheeks before I could escape.

At this point, I am not startled by his actions, it has been going on for years but I can not take it anymore.

“Mia, I’m sorry,” He said as he drew me closer I didn't mean to hit you, you know how I am when you get me angry” He kissed my forehead and pulled me in for a hug.

“ You know I love you and this wouldn’t have happened if you had not ruined our agreement”

For some reason, his words angered me more. Normally, I would reason with him and make peace with him but not today. 

“Get out of my house,” I said as I pushed him away

 “What did you say?” He asked in disbelief 

 “I SAID GET OUT OF MY HOUSE.” I did not care about the aftermath of my actions, I just wanted him out of my life.

“You don't mean it,” he said as tried to pull me back into his arms.

I stepped back so his hands wouldn't reach me.

“I meant every word I just said, I’m done with this relationship and I want you out of my house” I replied strongly. 

“You are joking right?” he laughed at me 

“How are you going to live without me?”

“ Have you forgotten how miserable your life was without me?” he closed the space between us and brought his face closer to mine

“You need me,” he said as he placed his lips on mine.

He kissed me and I didn’t fight back. I slowly let him in as I kissed him back, his fingers played with my hair and my willingness to continue the fight grew weaker.

Just as I was about to give up, memories of my mom’s relationships flooded in, reminding me of every reason I should fight back. 

Although my mom was great in every other aspects of life, her relationships were the worst and I don’t want my life to be the sequel of her story.  I regained myself and pulled away from him, on his face I could see the look of satisfaction. 

“Get out of my house”

His face twisted to an ugly mask of anger and his fist clenched at his sides, before I could react his hand struck my cheeks again, and my feet betrayed me as I lost balance and crashed into the edge of the table. 

Pain shot through my head as my head met the edge of the table. The room spun around me as I fought to keep my focus. My ears rang, drowning out the sound of Derek's voice as he shouted at me. I held my head as the pain increased.

Amid the chaos, Derek's expression shifted from fear to disbelief when he saw the blood on my hand. His eyes widened, it was as if time had frozen and we were both caught in the gravity of what had just transpired.

In a haze of panic, he turned on his heels and ran out of the house. Fear took over me as I saw the man I love run out of the house, leaving me to die.

I struggled to get my phone as I fought to stay conscious. I picked up my phone and called my best friend Olivia “Help me, I’m bleeding.”