Chapter 4 I Feel Like I Wanna Die

**Ophelia's POV**

I immediately turned around and ran away from them.

Tonight, I will leave my husband, my first love and my last love.

And tonight I will also leave my ungrateful sister.

As I reached the yard, I bowed my head as low as I could. I screamed silently and pounded my chest.

Look, even Elio had no intention of chasing after me. It seemed that our child and I were not very important to him.

"It's okay, baby, if your dad doesn't like your presence in this world, then your mum will love you and fill your heart with love. Your mum will take responsibility for you." I rubbed my still flat belly.

I continued on my way, pulling my coat tighter around me. The snow was falling heavier now. And I only had myself and this coat. My bag and all its contents were left behind in that room. And I didn't wanna go back there again.

Now there was only me and the deserted streets. No vehicles passed by. Snow ploughs had cleared the roads.

There was only me, the only pedestrian, walking as if it were summer.

The effect of being disappointed and divorced with my husband, wandering these quiet and cold streets, I considered normal.

The point was, I just wanted to get as far away from them as possible. I wanted to take myself and the child in my womb far away from those two evil people.

Even if I had to brave the snowstorm and the extreme cold, even if I was alone with only the clothes on my body, even if I didn't know where I was going, at least... at least, I managed to get away from the people who hurt me.

I am too precious to stay with a man who has made me his second choice.

But I didn't know what had happened. When I opened my eyes again, I found myself somewhere unfamiliar.

This magnificent bedroom, clearly this is the first time I've visited it.

Oh, have I been kidnapped? Am I being held captive?

What is clear is that this is not the roof of the room I left last night. This is also not the roof of my adoptive parents' house.

My head also feels very dizzy. And my stomach, oh my God, it feels like it's being squeezed and hurts more than before.

I rub it to reduce the pain. But I am surprised to see an IV attached to my right hand.

Wait, why am I on an IV? What happened to me? My child is okay, right?

"Ah, you're awake."

I immediately looked at the open door. From there, a woman wearing a white coat appeared. She then walked towards the IV tube on the right side of the bed.

“I am one of the Alioth family’s personal doctors, Brenda.”

Alioth? That name sounded familiar to me.

I've heard it before, but where?

"How are you feeling, Mrs.. Ophelia?"

"Lia, just call me Lia," I corrected her.

Brenda's gaze turned sad. "Are you complaining about something, Lia?"

"My head is spinning and my stomach hurts. But above all, where am I now, doctor? This doesn't look like a hospital room."

"You’re not in a hospital. You’re at Mr. Nix's house. He found you lying on the street and saved you."

"Saved me?"

Brenda approached me. She sat on the edge of the bed and held my hand tightly. "I'm so sorry to deliver this bad news. But, we managed to save you, but not your fetus. You had a miscarriage, Lia.”

I reflexively pulled my hand away from her. “Tell me you’re lying. It’s not true, is it? You must’ve been told by Elio to make up a fake surprise, right?”

“I’m sorry, but I don’t know who Elio is. I'm just delivering this news because I'm the doctor responsible for your care this time, Lia."

I shook my head violently. I rubbed my still flat belly. Tears were already streaming down my cheeks. "Baby, you're still there, right? You're still alive, right? Answer me!"

Brenda hugged me. She patted my back gently. "Please calm down, Lia. Let's pray that it’s happy to see you have been saved."

I pushed her away. "How can you tell me to calm down! I just lost my baby, who wasn't even a month old! I... I... I lost my child? I lost the child I waited five years for?"

I felt my breathing quicken. My chest also felt tight and my vision blurred.

"Lia, please breathe breathe, Lia. Take a deep breath and exhale slowly."

I did as Brenda said, but it didn't help much. It especially couldn't get rid of the tightness in my chest.

"You could experience—“

I grabbed the collar of her coat. "Why would you save me and not my baby, doc?"

"I am truly sorry. But your condition when Mr. Nix found you was really bad. You were suffering from hypothermia and bleeding. Plus, your pregnancy was still very young. I don't know if psychological factors also played a role, but from the impact of the fall and your physical condition at the time, it was unlikely that such a small fetus could survive in such extreme conditions. It is estimated that the baby died before Mr. Nix found you."

“You keep mentioning that name! Nix, Nix, Nix, who is he? Who is he to decide that I lost my child?”

“Mr. Nix was your saviour, Lia.”

“Ouch, what are you doing!”

I suddenly felt very sleepy when Brenda removed the needle from my arm.

“At Mr. Nix’s request, I had to calm you down if you were hysterical. It’s for your own good. I’m sorry.”

Brenda helped me lie down again. And after that, I don’t remember anything else.

***

Oh my God, how long have I been asleep?

Brenda was gone. And the IV was still in my arm.

My baby?

I quickly touched my belly. The pain was still there, but it... it was gone. My baby had left me forever.

Oh God, why did you have to take it?

I cried again when I remembered it. My shoulders shook violently and my eyes were blurry from tears.

My baby, my child, it was my only hope to survive right now. But what can I do? God took it from me too.

I don't care if there was a part of Elio in it because I would have taken care of it. What makes me angry is, why did it have to be taken from me too? It didn't even get to see the beauty of this world. It didn't even... get to see me as its mother.

I only hate Elio, not the child. So the child should have been able to live with me, right? Shouldn't I have had the chance to raise it?

At least, God, leave me one person who can love me sincerely, my child.

If my husband, my siblings, and my adoptive family cannot love me sincerely, at least my child surely can.

But what is this? I am truly alone now.

No one even visits me anymore. After Brenda left, no one else came in.

Perhaps no one even realised I had left their lives. Because since I woke up, cried, curled up on the bed, cried again, and woke up again, no one has come into this room to at least ask how I am, except for Brenda.

What's the point of being in such a comfortable room if no one cares about me? No one even offered their condolences or comforted me after I miscarried.

Do I really have no one left but myself? How pitiful.

I was supposed to spend Christmas in a warm room, but instead I spent it in the room of a stranger whose face I didn't even know.

What kind of surprise is this?

And who is Nix really? I have to know what his purpose is in saving me and bringing me here. Because I don't want my ignorance to get me involved in a misunderstanding that will harm me.

Because in the past, I sacrificed myself for someone else. In the end, I was the one who was destroyed, while that person is still happy today, even trampling on me.

The person I'm referring to is Lith.

Yes, I once sacrificed myself for Lith, which led to me being imprisoned for 15 years.

Lith's crime was killing a man who was my last client—who asked me to play the violin—before I went to prison.

The man's name was Triton. He was the second son of a wealthy conglomerate family whose fortune was endless.

At the time, Lith and I were both 13 years old. The incident shocked everyone, including our adoptive parents, who nearly went crazy.

So why wasn't I the one who committed the crime, yet I was the one punished while Lith was not? Because I covered up Lith's mistake.

I took Lith's place as the suspect. All of Lith's fingerprints and all the evidence related to her were replaced and linked to me. And all of that was helped by our adoptive mother, with my consent, reluctantly.

My adoptive mother never loved me. At that time, I thought her love was everything to me because as a child living in an orphanage, having a mother was a blessing.

So, in order to get the same love she gave Lith, I agreed to follow her plan to save Lith from misfortune.

In return, I would get her sincere love.

Everything was ordered by my adoptive mother before anyone else found Triton's body. Everything was changed and directed at me as if I had done it.

As a result, only the three of us knew about it, and it turned out that after that, my mother and Lith did not change but instead hated and dumped me. And I was the one who was blamed.

I was thrown into prison without getting the compensation I deserved, which was the love of my adoptive mother.

Everyone accused me and labelled me a cold-blooded violinist. Even Triton's family, who were understandably devastated at the time, publicly berated me.

In essence, 20 years ago was the beginning of hell in my life. Because after that, nothing was the same anymore.

After that, I had to spend 15 years and my youth in prison. I was only released when I was 28 years old.

In other words, I sacrificed almost half my life for Lith. For the sake of her bright future and her reputation. So that she could be a child that our adoptive parents could be proud of.

And that's why I was truly heartbroken when Lith and Elio betrayed me.

Because when I was still behind bars, Elio promised to stay with me. When I was almost an adult, he said he would marry me after I got out of prison. And it turned out that after I was released, even though he did marry me, he already had a child with my sister.

They both hid it all and it only came to light now.

All this time, I had been put on the back burner by the two of them. All this time, I thought that my sister and husband really loved me. And foolishly, I never realised that they were pretending or lying because my love for them blinded me.

Love blinded me.

They were the ones who strengthened me during those difficult times. But it turns out it was all a pretence. It turns out they were playing behind my back. It turns out they stabbed me in the back.

I still remember it to this day—it's one of the memories I will never be able to forget—the look in Triton's brother's eyes as he stared at me coldly and sharply from behind the car window.

At that time, I had just left the court and was about to be taken to prison. The window was not yet closed, so I could still see his eyes.

Eyes as beautiful as the sea but as sharp as an eagle's. And even now, that image is still clearly etched in my memory, even though I didn't see his face.

Perhaps if I saw him again now, I would immediately know that he was...

The door to the room, which had been closed all day, finally opened. There, a man taller and more muscular than Elio stood in a very neat black suit and matching tie.

"Thank goodness you're awake," he said. His voice was deep, clear, without a hint of hoarseness, but completely cold.

This feeling.

Déjà vu.

"How are you, Mrs. Ophelia?"

He approached the bed. He stopped at the foot of the bed. He stared at me intensely.

"Mrs. Ophelia? Are you listening to me?"

I blinked several times. "I'm not okay," I replied in a small voice.

"Of course, because you just lost your child."

I clenched my fists under the blanket. "Who are you?"

"Phoenix. You can just call me Nix."

I narrowed my eyes. “You know that’s not the answer I want. I know you’re the man named Nix who saved me. But who are you really?”

He took his right hand out of his pants pocket and extended it towards me. “You don’t know me? I’m the son of the orphanage’s owner you came from.”