Chapter 7

Jenny's POV

Days passed after the incident that occurred at the cemetery. The tension was clear between Marcus and I. That night, he stayed out and I know that he was with Anna. Since then, he made it a point to avoid me. He could barely look at me or say more than one word back when I attempted to speak to him. I could feel the distance increasing between us. He was putting up a wall and I just couldn't get through to him.

My heart was breaking. I had this imminent feeling that things were going to change between us. Not for the better. When he agreed to get married to me, I thought he would finally be mine. I thought things would be better and even though he didn't have feelings for me, he would learn to love me as time passed. I underestimated the love he held for Anna. He could never love me like he does her. Perhaps I should just come to terms with it. If I continue to fight for his love, I will be the only one to get hurt.

I spent the past few days thinking just that. I have tried everything I could. I have ignored his indifference towards me and our marriage and poured out all my love to make things work. To see him go over to her side without even a second thought has shattered my resolve. It scares me to even think about it but it's inevitable. Soon, he is going to make the decision to end this forced marriage and pursue the one he truly loves. When the time comes, I will be devastated. Even so, there is nothing I can possibly do to save myself. The truth is, I can see that he doesn't want to be with me. I just held on to the hope that it would change. My love for him would be strong enough to make him fall for me. My love failed. I failed and now I am about to lose everything.

My thoughts consumed me. I was scared. I tried to think of ways to try and talk to him but he was basically a ghost in the house. He started coming home late and would silently slip into bed thinking that I was asleep. I couldn't sleep. Every time I closed my eyes I would have a nightmare. I was being brutally kicked out of my house by Anna and Marcus stood beside her with no intention of stopping her. It was horrible but I knew it was mind playing tricks on me and I couldn't take anymore of living on edge. I had to stop this misery from going on matter what happens in the end. 

Win or lose, this has to come to an end. We simply can't keep living in this silence. I don't want to be the one to end this but if I have to, I will. It won't be easy and it will probably kill me but… for this baby, there is nothing I can't do. 

I put my hand on my belly already imagining how big it will get when it starts showing. How hard will it kick? What kind of craving will I get? Just how much my life is going to change in this new life. Just thinking about it all brought bittersweet tears in my eyes. All those new pregnancy experiences will all happen without Marcus. With the way things are, I can't even bring myself to tell him about it. I don't want to tie him down anymore. 

Another day went by quickly with me consumed by my thoughts. During the day when I was by myself, I gathered up some courage to finally speak with Marcus but when the time came I couldn't bring myself to do it. I tried to bring up the conversation too many times and failed each time. It dawned on me that I couldn't say it . If he simply agrees to let me go, I wouldn't be able to handle it. I won't survive his rejection point blank. I abandoned the thought of talking things out and simply decided it would be best if I just leave a letter behind. Whatever needs to be said, I will write it down. 

I started making arrangements to leave the house. It was a crushing decision but one that had to be made. I made a call to my best friend. If not anyone, she would be more than willing to help me and I really need someone to talk to before I leave. Someone to assure me that the decision I am about to make is indeed the right one and I am not making some sort of mistake. She might be my friend but I at least know that she'll be honest with me without holding back. 

“Are you sure about this? I mean you do know that you might be losing your husband to that woman. Are you going to be okay with that?”

I sighed knowing very well I was not sure about the decision I had to make but there is nothing else I could do. 

“I… I don't know Hailey. I really don't. Should I stay or should I leave? Should I talk to Marcus or not? All I know is that I have to make a choice that is best for my baby. All this stress is not good for me.”

It was Hailey's turn to sigh. She looked genuinely stressed and didn't know what to say to comfort me. I understood her because I just dropped a bombshell on her. 

“You know what?!” She says startling me, “Forget Marcus. All you did was love him and be the best wife you could be to him but as soon as his trashy ex comes rolling back in town he has the nerve to go crawling back to her and leaving you in limbo? How dare he do that? Who the hell does he think he is?”

Her expression had changed. You could see that she was fuming. 

“Please calm down Hailey. Don't get so worked up. It's okay. I just need to do this and then everything will eventually fall into place.” 

Even though I said that, I can't imagine how things would fall into place. Making the biggest decision of my life was nerve-wracking and I could feel myself slowly falling apart. 

“Don't worry girl. I got you. You can just come and stay at my place. It's big enough for the three of us,” she says with a small smile referring to my baby. 

“You can stay for as long as you want until you figure everything out.” 

I felt assured by her words. Now more than ever, I needed someone to be on my side and who better than my best friend. 

“Thanks for everything, Hailey. Once I am done with everything, I'll head on your way.” 

She smiled widely. 

“I'll wait for you. Best of luck.” 

I'm going to need a lot of that but I could already envision how everything is going to play out. If I am lucky then everything ends up just being a very long scary nightmare and my life is still normal with my husband by my side. That would be the greatest thing to ever happen to me.