“What’s happening to me?” I panicked, stumbling upright on trembling knees. My body stiffened and I grimaced at the bitter taste that spread on my tongue. “What’s this?” I swallowed hard through my tight and dry throat.
My mouth fell open as the pain intensified. I grabbed the door when my body swayed as I left my room, an invisible force urging me to come out of my room. I didn’t know what was happening but my instincts went into overdrive and something inside me howled and shrieked in agony.
My legs carried me down the stairs and out of the pack house as an unrelenting sharp sting ripped my insides apart. As if propelled by an external force, I turned left and walked towards the back of the pack house.
I stopped dead in my tracks when I witnessed the scene playing out before my eyes.
“Ha,” Bella moaned, “Faster, ahh, yes! Like that!” She held her skirt up and my mate held her by her waist, his trouser at his ankles.
I shook my head slowly, my breath hitching in disbelief. Even if he hated me – Even if he loathed the air I breathed, wasn’t this too much? It was dirty and disgusting to watch and it made me swallow hard. I walked with my back, captivated by the cruel scene I wanted to escape. A twig crunched underneath my feet and Noah raised his head.
Sweat beaded his forehead, his lips were parted as he huffed a breath, pushing in and out of a delirious Bella. She didn’t even notice my presence but he did. His lust-filled eyes sparkled and his parted lips morphed into a smile and then I realized.
He did this on purpose. This savage, disgusting display was for my benefit. He came out here to have intercourse expecting me to find them and when he held my eyes, fear slithered down my spine from the hatred I saw reflected in his.
My frozen legs forced me to watch as he drilled into another woman. He did this to hurt me, to twist my insides and squeeze my heart. I was dying inside, writhing in pain as my mate desecrated our bond. This man - This cruel man, was my mate, the mate the goddess predestined for me.
Despite the knife twisting my insides and tearing up my heart, I felt numb. I stood stock-still, my blurry vision erasing the sight before me and my lungs squeezing, making breathing difficult.
“Ha, Noah - I’m gonna –“ The girl groaned some words which my ringing ears could not hear anymore.
I couldn’t see them anymore, couldn’t hear them and I could not move. My body locked into position with grief and heartbreak taking turns piercing my heart.
“What?” Through my blurry vision, I saw the smaller of the two figures before me jump. “What’s this creep staring at?” I heard Bella screech. “Go away!” I felt something hit my skin. She’d thrown sand at me but I didn’t move.
Even though I wanted to run, I could not. Despite my fervent prayer for my breath to cease and for my existence to fade, nothing happened. I was unmoving in front of those that caused my pain.
“Hey, I’m talking to you!” The knives drilling into my heart stopped, leaving behind pieces of my broken heart. “Are you ignoring me?” As soon as my vision cleared, it turned white and I saw stars. Bella yanked my hair backwards as she shouted. “You’re ignoring the future Luna?” She shouted, stomping on my foot.
“Bella.” Noah spoke with a chill in his voice. “Excuse us.” His tone rang with finality and the grip on my hair loosened.
“W – What? What do you want to do with her?” She demanded. “Don’t tell me –“ She started with a shaky voice.
“Who are you to question me?” Anger vibrated in his quiet tone. “Get lost,” he snarled at her and she scrambled away, leaving me with the predator with my feet still rooted to the ground as he stalked forward.
“You’re even uglier when you cry,” Noah whispered in my face, his finger twirling a lock of my hair.
Noah Howard.
He’d been sixteen years old the last time I saw him. We never had anything to do with each other as we lived in different worlds within the same pack. Then, he was nothing more than a teenage boy who the elders felt was too irresponsible to take over the pack so they sent him to the academy. He returned tonight to a surprise party but I was the one that ended up being surprised.
Noah Howard was my mate.
“Reject me,” I said through gritted teeth. The pain in my heart intensified and he grinned, his lips twisting into an ugly smile that had me shivering.
“Why should I?” He asked with a chuckle.
“You don’t want me,” I reminded him. A few hours ago, he told me I wasn’t worth standing beside him so he should reject me. “Make this rejection official.”
“Where’s the fun in that?” He twirled my hair with a strange look in his eyes. “I can’t reject you, Carrot,” he muttered. “Not before I make you suffer.”
“Why are you doing this?” Tears stung my eyes again. “You don’t want me so reject me!” I shouted. My right ear rang as my head snapped to the side when he dealt me a heavy slap.
“Don’t raise your voice at your superior.” His soft voice tickled my ear. “How dare you?” His voice turned rough and his eyes darkened. My frozen legs finally unlocked in time for me to scramble back but I could not escape him.
“How dare a piece of shit like you be my mate!?” He bellowed. “Do you know who I am? Have dare you mess up my plans like this?” He advanced on me the more I scampered off.
“I didn’t –“ I didn’t ask for him to be my mate so why did he blame me? “It’s not as if I picked you,” I cried in exasperation.
“What do you mean? Is there another man you would have picked if you got the chance?” He growled, his face darkening even further. “How dare a nobody like you act so superior? Who are you to accept my rejection with an ‘okay?’ Do you have no fear?”
“What are you even saying?” I cried out. “I know you don’t want me! I know I can’t stand by your side. Yes, I accepted that fact so why are you angry? Did you want me to beg? Would you feel better if I fell on my face and grabbed your ankles begging you not to reject me? Would it change anything if you saw me miserable!?” I screamed, continuing to back away.
“Yes,” he deadpanned. “You should have begged, fallen on your face and begged me to be with a worthless pile of trash like you then I wouldn’t be feeling this!” He shouted, hitting his chest. “A girl like you cannot be my mate. You’ve ruined everything!”
“What have I done?” I asked, my momentum dying as my grief choked me. I couldn’t shout anymore, could barely even speak. “This is the goddess’ doing, not mine.” The heavens knew I would never have picked a mate like Noah in the first place.
He was born arrogant. His pretty face and status blinded him at an early age so he didn’t know how to value others. In his eyes, everyone existed to serve him. It didn’t even matter that he was the successor of a small pack which made him a small fry in the midst of other alphas. Noah Howard acted like a god in Red Lake, the only place people treated him with reverence.
“If you didn’t exist, I would not have the misfortune of being your mate,” he snarled.
Yes, it was my fault for existing, my fault for being born. If I didn’t exist, Noah wouldn’t be mated to me. Perhaps the goddess would have given him Bella then, the perfect match for a man like him, but I had to exist.
‘Why are you still alive, Carrot?’ I asked myself. ‘Everyone wants you gone so what do you exist for?’
“If you won’t reject me,” I started with a heavy heart, “then I will reject you.” Taking a deep breath, I spoke, “I, Carrot, of Red Lake pack, reject you, Noah Howard, as my mate.” I hunched over as the stabbing in my heart continued. Tears blurred my vision for the nth time that night but a chuckle came from above me.
“I refuse your rejection.” He was the alpha, the more powerful of the two of us. It was unfair but without his permission, our mate bond could not be broken. “Before I let you go, I’ll have to break you completely.” His eyes sparkled with hatred. “Maybe then I’ll see what’s inside you that gives you the audacity to hold up your head in my presence.” He spat on my face.
At the crack of dawn the next morning, a message came from the Alpha and Luna of Red Lake.
