I had memorized her patterns now.
How long she stayed in bed. When she got up. How she walked. What she ate. The way she answered through the door when I knocked. Even her silences—especially those—told me more than her words ever did.
Lately, those silences had grown heavier.
She moved slower now. I noticed it every day, even though she tried to hide it. Her steps were more measured, her breathing more careful. She paused more often when she stood. Rested longer between motions. There was a quiet determination in her still—she never asked for help, never once called out—but it didn’t take much to see the effort behind the calm.
One month.
That’s how long she had left.
I didn’t stop to think.The sound of her gasp hadn’t left my ears, and I didn’t wait for permission. I pushed her chamber door open, half-expecting to find her collapsed or hurt—my heart already braced for the worst.But instead, I saw her sitting on the floor.Her back rested against the wall, her dress gathered around her knees. Her hands were pressed gently to her stomach. Her hair was loose, falling around her shoulders, and she was crying.But she was smiling too.I stood there, frozen. Not understanding.“Seraphina?” I asked quietly.She looked up, eyes glassy with tears. “He kicked.&rdqu
I had memorized her patterns now.How long she stayed in bed. When she got up. How she walked. What she ate. The way she answered through the door when I knocked. Even her silences—especially those—told me more than her words ever did.Lately, those silences had grown heavier.She moved slower now. I noticed it every day, even though she tried to hide it. Her steps were more measured, her breathing more careful. She paused more often when she stood. Rested longer between motions. There was a quiet determination in her still—she never asked for help, never once called out—but it didn’t take much to see the effort behind the calm.One month.That’s how long she had left.
Time had become something strange.The days blurred into one another. Quiet mornings spent reading the same pages over and over, afternoons lying down because sitting too long made my back ache, nights spent listening to the distant sound of the wind against the tower walls. Every breath I took felt cautious now. Measured. As if even the slightest wrong move would bring everything crashing down.I hadn’t told anyone. Not the maids. Not the midwives. Not even the older women who passed by sometimes to drop clean linens or fruit trays and gave me long, knowing looks. I didn’t let them near. I kept my shawls wrapped tightly around me. I bathed alone. I stayed hidden.Only Caelan knew.And even he didn’t know everything.
She was pacing slowly inside her chambers again. I could only catch a glimpse from the small slit in the door, pretending to stand guard like usual, eyes forward and unmoving. But I’d memorized her movements well enough by now. The way her hands often hovered near her waist these days. How she always looked a little tired after standing too long. How her appetite came and went depending on the hour.We hadn’t spoken much since the king’s summon two days ago. Not because something had gone wrong, but because she had returned quieter. Unharmed, but drained. I didn’t ask what happened. She didn’t say. But I knew something had shifted.Today felt... different. She had come to the door once, handed me a small scroll to give to one of the maids, and then lingered longer than usual before returning inside. I didn’t follow. I couldn’t. But when I glanced down, I saw the faintest look of hesitation on her face. As if she wanted to say something but wasn’t sure how. Or if she should.When the a
After that day, she was even more careful. A spark of happiness had been ignited inside her. She was even more careful and considerate, but she bloomed like a flower in the spring. My own happiness felt like catching up as she thrived on.She still hesitated and was careful about a lot of things, but she also breathed fresh air and smiled more. I got her fruits and seeds and sometimes those pretty flowers that screamed her name. She accepted them gracefully, a silent token of our unspoken relationship.That was one perimeter we had not discovered.Naming what we were.Friends definitely.But they don’t steal glances, soft smiles and have the irresistible urge to protect and love someone.But I do. I don’t know if she does, but I sure do. And I think in her own way, she protects and cares for me.A knock brought me out of my reverie and I quickly put my guard face on. “What?” I ask the soldier who stands there with a scroll in his hand.“This is for the lady.”Lady. That is what her ti
Days passed in blur, and honestly the weather turned gloomier. Rains fed the kingdom, bringing the tears of heaven to the people of the earth. The clouds loomed making days look darker and nights look scarier. The crops grew greener while the people grew moodier. Well, not everyone was a fan of the rains. Luckily it didn’t snow that much here unlike the outer parts of the kingdom.But there was one ray of sunshine and that was the Queen. For me there was and there will always be one Queen.Queen Seraphina.Colors and blood returned to her face. She looked much better than the pale ghostly face that took over her features over the past few months.She was still quite weak, moving slowly and carefully. She would flinch due to the thunder and lightning, making m