“Can I come in?” He asked and I stepped aside from the doorway and let him in. “I got these for you. I didn’t know what flowers you like but I hope you like Tulips.”
“Now just because you got me something, I must like it?” I snapped back, feeling a sense of frustration building up.
“No. I am sorry, that’s not what I meant. I can take them back if you—”
“No, it's fine.” Xavier cut him off and I glared at him. He glared back at me and I knew what he meant. He was asking me to remain composed. He picked the bouquet and walked to the kitchen to place them in a jug of water. I sat on the couch and he sat in front of me. Xavier came back with a bottle of water for me and kissed my head. Sitting beside me on the armrest, he wrapped his arm around me and I leaned into him. Lucas was clearly uncomfortable with the way he was fidgeting in his place seeing us. He tried to look here and there to hide his discomfort but he was doing a poor job at it.
“I want to let you know that we are coming to Chicago to help your pack.” I let out everything in one go.
Lucas was shocked for a second but he quickly composed himself. “Thank you so much. When do you want to leave?”
“Leave? First listen to my conditions.”
“Sure, tell me about them.” Why is he acting all caring and respectful?
“One. Xavier and I need complete protection from your pack and your mate. Any form of threat or attack, we shall immediately come back and you shall take responsibility for it. Two, I shall decide when the sacrifice shall happen. No one, I mean no one will put any kind of physical, emotional or mental pressure on me for it. Three, we shall live in our own place and nowhere close to the pack. You shall hire the necessary security and personal for our safety. And on top of everything, if anything goes wrong, you shall take responsibility for the entire thing.” He nodded listening to me attentively.
“I shall ensure that both of you are safe and happy there. It shall be my duty to safely escort you back here.”
“I have already lost so much because of you. Don’t make me regret anything for making this decision.”
“You have my promise. I shall protect you with everything in me. Afterall you are my—” He coughed trying to cover his words.
“Extend that honor and promise to Xavier too. I will not tolerate anything bad or wrong happening to him.”
“Come on. Don’t be so pessimistic.” Xavier spoke.
“You don’t know these guys honey. They know very well how to treat people. I am just making sure that we don’t regret this decision at any costs.” Sarcasm was evident in my tone.
“You won’t. I shall make sure of that. And before you even know, I shall safely escort you back here to San Francisco.” I nodded agreeing to him, but I couldn’t assure myself. There was a restless feeling inside me and I prayed hard wishing that it shouldn’t harm the three of us.
“Have you thought of a plan for this? When do we start?” He was impatient about this and I was going to give him a very bitter medicine.
“I will talk to my doctor and let you know.”
“Do–doctor?” He stuttered.
“Yes. I am pregnant and until I have medical clearance I cannot fly.” I told him and his eyes went to my stomach.
“You are preg–pregnant.” His eyes were glossy. I was surprised to see him be so vulnerable. I looked up at Xavier who in turn was in a deep frown looking at Lucas. I nudged him with my elbow and he turned to look at me with a different emotion in his eyes.
Fear.
I shook my head and assured him with my eyes. He nodded and kissed my forehead, his lips lingering there for a while.
I kissed his cheek and he patted my hair.
“Is there a problem?” I asked Lucas and he snapped his attention back to my face.
“No. No, there is no problem. It's just that I–I” He chuckled mirthlessly and discreetly wiped his eyes. “This is my number. Let me know your plans. I shall get going.” He placed his card on the table in front of him and walked out of the door leaving me and Xavier confused.
What is happening?
It was strange, how silence could be heavier than anger.I expected rage. From him. From myself. Expected the bitterness to rise like bile the moment our eyes met. But when I saw Xavier standing at the edge of the training yard, watching the horizon with that haunted expression I knew all too well — the only thing I felt was tired.Tired of the past.Tired of the guilt.Tired of carrying around so many unfinished words.I walked up to him slowly. No posturing. No Alpha energy. Just… me.He didn’t move when I stopped beside him. Just gave me a glance, enough to show he knew I was there.“Didn’t think you&r
There were nights when I couldn’t sleep. Nights when I’d lie awake staring at the ceiling, wondering if there was a version of this life where I didn’t mess up so catastrophically. Where I didn’t reject her. Where I didn’t ruin the one thing I had no right to want — Ariana.Tonight was one of those nights.The moonlight bled through the window and pooled over the floor, pale and cruel. I sat at the edge of the bed I never warmed, hands tangled in my hair, trying to shut off the thoughts that refused to leave me. But they clung like ghosts — every word, every moment, every look she had once given me, and the way it slowly stopped being mine.I should’ve been happy for her.That’s what I told myself.
Sometimes we don’t care enough about others. People who have given up everything for us.But I’ve always known better. Some of the worst wounds aren’t the ones bleeding from our skin — they’re the ones buried beneath layers of silence.I saw Xavier sitting on the bench near the training yard where no one else would come. Not anymore. The same spot where we’d once sparred under sunlight. Where I had taught Ariana how to twist her wrists to avoid injury. The very place she had once whispered to me, wishing he was here.And now, months later, that same man sat hunched over — not as a vampire, not as a warrior, not even as a threat.Just as a man carrying more weight than his shoulders should have ever been asked to bear.
I stood in front of the council, in the court,my hands handcuffed in the front.I didn’t expect them to forgive me.Not truly.Forgiveness wasn’t something you could demand — it had to be earned, scraped together piece by piece, even if the hands that reached for it were stained with blood. I had those hands. I had that blood. No matter the intentions, no matter the fight I turned against Nerissa… the truth was undeniable.I had killed. I had led them. I had worn the crown of monsters.Now, I stood among the people I had once called family — people who flinched when they saw my face, who stiffened when I passed them, who lowered their eyes not out of respect, but revulsion.
I was just a mother today. Maybe even a wife. That was all I was. My children, me and my husband. Us. My family. The moment soaked in me that I forgot everything around me.The soft rustle of the blankets stirred beside me as I watched Ryan curled up against Xavier’s chest, his tiny fingers grasping the fabric of his shirt like he’d known him forever. And maybe, in a way, he had. Maybe, in those long nights when I would sing to my belly and whisper stories, Ryan had known Xavier’s name before his voice.Xavier sat still, almost too still, as though the slightest movement might wake the sleeping infant. But his eyes weren’t calm. They shimmered — bright with emotion, brimming with tears he wasn’t ready to shed.My fingers reached out instinctively, brushing through his messy hair.
The new space they’d moved me to wasn’t freedom. But it wasn’t a cell either.The air here didn’t stink of mildew and blood. It smelled like cedarwood and freshly laundered sheets. The sunlight filtered in through barred windows, and while the guards outside the room never left, they no longer looked at me like I was an animal waiting to snap. I had a mattress. A table. Books. Clean water. Warm food. It was more than I’d had in months.Still, the silence ached.Even when the wind brushed against the wooden walls, or the branches knocked gently against the windows, the silence inside me was louder. It was what I deserved. I had made peace with that. After everything — after the things I had done, the blood I had spilled, the lives I had ruined — this quiet was a mercy.