Blue Moon

Alexia

My home pack, Blue Moon, is nestled in the mountains. With a river winding through the valley, it’s almost as if the pack was placed in the middle of a fairy-tale. Winters were cold with snow that made all the pups giddy to play outside all day. Summers were warm and the river served as a popular swimming spot.

My father, Alpha Aaron, worked hard to keep the pack looking this good. He also worked hard to have a happy & safe pack. I had trained at an early age to take over as the alpha of my pack. I worked hard missing out on a lot of things in order to train. There were days where I wasn’t allowed to go play in the snow or swim with the other pups. My social circle included only the Beta’s children Mason and Victoria.

Everything changed when I was fifteen. It all started because wolves were taking mates who were not their fated one. They were holding competitions for the strongest wolf. Girls who would take over a pack would want the strongest male by her side. I never understood this because your fated mate would make you stronger. Those who mated with another would lose that.

The Alpha king put a law into effect that only allowed males to be the alpha of a pack. The competition had damaged many of the pack’s hierarchy. People were confused about who they should follow and why any of it mattered if all you had to do was win someone’s favor. Pack structure was a joke to many of those people. My father had fought against the law, but in the end there was nothing he could do. Mason would be the next alpha of the Blood Moon pack.

My mother told me stories about mates as a young child. I fell in love with the idea that my mate would be perfect. My parents were the perfect example of what fated mates should look like. Knowing that there was a person who was perfect for me was a driving force in my life. I could handle all the training and tough work if there was a reward of love at the end. The law changed a lot of it though. The training went from the basics of running a pack to Luna training. I had still been young enough that I hadn’t gotten to the meat of the alpha part of training.

Once the law was in place my parents started to hope that Mason would be my mate. Since he grew up right next to me in the pack they knew he was a good man. Dad once said he could feel at ease giving the reins over to Mason. I didn’t know how to feel about my best friend potentially being my mate.

Around the time the law was enacted, Victoria changed. She bullied me when no one was around. She called me names at first, but then it escalated as we got older. Most would ask why, as an alpha wolf I would let it go on. She was the sister of my best friend. Mason loved his sister and I knew she would either be made a rogue or killed for her actions. This pack didn’t put up with those types of things.

Part of me wanted to be a better person by not saying anything. The rest of me saw it as a weakness. My wolf Rae wanted to tear her apart. But my human side wasn’t as strong as that. I was timid and hated confrontation most of the time. Plus, Luna training was teaching me to be more in control of my emotions and to step back and let the alpha lead. That teaching changed something in me. I became weak.

“Alexia, come downstairs and pick a dress. Victoria already found one.” My mother mind links me.

This was going to be great. I would have to attend the royal ball on my birthday. Not only that, but I would have to spend time with Victoria the day before as well. I wanted to focus on the fact that tomorrow would be the first day I could sense my mate, not on trying to keep up the illusion of control that I didn’t have. It was hard work acting like you were on good terms with a person who abused you.

I could fight back and end it all, but to what end? I would tear my best friend’s family apart and maybe even the pack that I loved so much. Somehow I’ve gotten it into my head that it’s better for me to suffer in silence than the entire pack turning into a mess.

I would have to use my perfected fake smile as I handled picking out a dress. I couldn’t let anyone know about the bullying. I didn’t want to be responsible for someone’s banishment or death.

I stop at the bottom of the stairs when I see Victoria in her dress. It was tight, red, and barely there. I wonder what my mother thought about it. She had always told me to dress like I demanded respect. I could be sexy without showing everything I’ve got.

“Doesn’t she look gorgeous?” Mom asks, smiling at Victoria.

“She’ll be the best looking one there.” I say. I give the fake smile that tells the person I mean what I’m saying.

“Oh, I’m sure that will be you, Alexia. You’ll be the bell of the ball.” Victoria says.

My mom may not notice the condescending tone of her voice, but I do. Not wanting to start something I keep my mouth shut. If I have any hopes of making it through the next few days, I need to try to keep her happy.

“What color do you want, dear? There are so many beautiful ones to choose from.” My mom looks over the dresses like it’s her that is going to be the bell of the ball.

“I like the baby blue dress. It’s simple but elegant.” I say, picking up the lovely dress and holding it against myself.

“The simpler the better for you. Don’t want to detract from your looks,” Victoria says smirking.

She turns and looks at herself in the mirror. When she changed, Victoria not only became mean but vain as well. Everything revolved around her and what she desired.

“All the boys say I’m hotter than you.”

“No one will ever love a mousy little thing like you. Your mate will reject you the minute he sees you.”

There were so many things that she said that I couldn’t even repeat them all if I wanted to. Victoria went from loving friend to enemy in the matter of days. The biggest problem with all of it is that deep down, I wanted her to like me. I wanted my friend back.

I never could understand what happened that made her hate me so much. I wasn’t the type of person who would misuse their power or flaunt what they have. I was giving and kind. I always made sure that everyone else was taken care of before I took care of myself. In those ways, I guess it would be better for me to be a luna. Although I thought I wanted to be an alpha, I think I’m better suited to be the mother of a pack.

That’s what a Luna is. She’s the head mother figure in the family that we call a pack. I wonder if I was going along with the training like I was because I didn’t want to let my father down. Maybe I wanted to prove that a girl could lead? Or it could be as simple as I just don’t know how to say no.

“Are you nervous about tomorrow?” I turn and see Mason standing in my doorway after dinner.

“A little. I feel like there’s all this pressure for us to be mates, and I don’t like it. It’s not that I don’t like you, Mason. It’s just that I want my mates’ bond to be about me and my mate and not about the line of succession.” I say.

“I get it. If we end up being mates, then it will be different for us. I think our relationship will blossom into something more beautiful. If not, then that means you get to keep being just my best friend.” Mason says with a shrug.

“What do you want to happen?” I ask because I really do want to know what he’s thinking.

“Honestly, I would love to have you as a mate. I’ve never told you but I’ve always had a crush on you,” Mason says as he rubs the back of his neck embarrassed.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” I was shocked by his admission.

“Because you were always so focused on training. You wanted to focus solely on that. I didn’t want to take away from that. You deserved to be able to do what you felt was best for you.”

My heart swells with love for my friend. He may have felt differently than I did about our relationship, but he still always put me first. That was a trait that we both shared. Whoever ends up with him as their mate will be lucky.

“Mason, I haven’t really ever thought about you that way. But I know that if you end up being my mate, I will be happy and the love will come.” I try to be optimistic about the possibility.

“Whatever happens Alexia I will always be there for you. We will always be friends first.”

As I lay in bed later that night, I couldn’t help but imagine what my mate would look like. Would he have dark hair and eyes? Or would he be blonde with blue eyes? Would he be pale or have darker skin?

But most importantly, what would his personality be like? I’ve heard stories about mates who were cruel and treated their fated one like they were garbage. There are even instances where one mate would reject the other. I don’t know that I would be able to survive that. Would the Moon Goddess be so cruel as to let me go through something so horrible?

One saving grace for tomorrow is that Victoria will not be traveling with us. She went to the palace earlier this afternoon. She says that she is going to stay with one of her friends who lives and works at the palace. She’s been going there a lot and to be honest I’m glad she’s gone.

Guilt hits me when I think like that. Why do I have to be so good? Couldn’t I just for once be selfish and not get the guilty feeling every time I have these thoughts? I was teased as a child for being a good girl. Everyone would say that I didn’t have a backbone and that I would never make it as an alpha. Thinking about it now, I wonder if they were right.

If Victoria was in my place, she would never put up with the bullying that I have. She would have stood up for herself and put an end to it all. She would have made sure that the person who was trying to hurt her would never be seen in this pack again.

I need to be stronger if I’m ever going to make it in this life. I lost the will to fit when I learned I couldn’t be the alpha. I may not have necessarily wanted to be the alpha alone, but it hurt to know that someone thought I shouldn’t. Part of me knew that I would have a mate that would pull me away from this pack.

My heart hated the thought, but something in me knew it was true. Maybe that realization caused me to lose my backbone? Whatever happened has caused me to be what I am today. I may not know what the future holds, but I do know that I’m going to try to face it like a luna should.