CHAPTER#65

"It was." Dana was waiting for the world to pop, to take her back to reality. When it didn't happen, she opened her eyes, knowing that the dream couldn't progress any longer. She stared off the balcony, watching the water crash onto itself, erasing footprints from the sand. The sun had just set, and the world was vanishing from sight. "This is just a dream, you know? From our trip to the coast. This is the little apartment we rented, overlooking the ocean. Tomorrow morning, you're going to spill waffle mix all over the floor and we're going to go out to breakfast instead."

"I hope we go somewhere good."

"We do, but..." Dana couldn't bear it any longer. Closing her eyes tightly, she opened them again, wiping away the tears that had formed. Turning in her chair, she looked at Alex, praying that the beach wouldn't turn into the road where Alex had died, a cross pinned to the guardrail where the bike had skidded into the railing and gotten stuck.

Alex Winters was sitting sideways on the lounge chair, her legs crossed in front of her. She had tossed a long white tank top on after her shower, and her tight curls had been pulled up into a bun. Her skin was the color of coffee with just a dash of cream, and her dark eyes reflected the porch light that hung above them.

"Alex," Dana whispered. It was the first time Alex had come to her in a dream fully intact, without triggering a sequence of nightmares.

"Someone makes a comment," Alex finished for her. "A guy at one of the tables calls us a pair of dykes. You get pissed and slam his face into his eggs. The cops get called, but not before we get the hell out of there."

"You remember?" Dana asked.

Alex laughed. It was the same laugh that had attracted Dana to Alex when they first met, and when Dana had accidentally shorted a circuit they had been building together for the class robots. Seeing those sparks reflected in the dark pools of Alex's eyes made Dana's heart skip several beats, the moment only interrupted when the circuit board caught on fire.

"Of course I remember. I was there." Alex winked.

"You were, but... now you're not."

"Yeah." Alex's smile vanished, and she stared into the darkness. "It's amazing how quickly your future vanishes when you die. Death swallows everything up in an instant. People will tell you that your life passes before your eyes when you go. Those are the people who survive, the ones who talk about all your old regrets. Nobody tells you that the worst part is watching your future vanish, seeing all your hopes and dreams become a whisper of smoke you can no longer hold on to." Alex pulled her legs up against her body, her chin on her knees. "You get to see bits and pieces before they bury you. It's almost like having a shitty internet connection, and the video skips. Until you told me, I wasn't entirely sure how I died." Her face darkened. "My parents. They were not kind."

"They still couldn't accept you. Even at the end."

"Not true. It was you they couldn't accept. That's why they didn't let you come to the funeral. You were a reminder of what I was and what I wasn't. In death, I was simply a wayward angel who may have someday come back to the fold, met a nice guy, had some babies. But now I was dead, my legacy forever tarnished by some white girl who came along and corrupted my poor soul." Alex chuckled. "Death isn't at all what anybody expects, by the way. Sure, some bits and pieces are true, but I promise you this - their version of eternity is going to be a lot less peaceful than mine."

"You're... you're at peace?" Dana felt a flood of emotion welling up behind her eyes, threatening to burst through the dam.

"Almost." Alex stood up. "There is something I miss very much." She stepped across the gap, sitting down next to Dana. The lounge chairs were just wide enough for both of them. "You see, one of the things you learn when you are dead is that you can't replace some people. I've met some interesting beings, but none of them hold a candle to you, Sparks."

"I miss you so much," Dana said, gazing into Alex's eyes. From here, she could just barely make out the dark freckles just beneath Alex's eyes.

"I miss you too." Alex placed a gentle hand on the side of Dana's neck, sliding it up to her cheek.

"Is this real?" Dana asked. "Is this a dream?"

"Doesn't matter what I say. Either you'll stay with me forever, or you'll wake up." Alex pulled Dana to her, her thick lips gently touching Dana's. Dana let out a sigh of relief, sliding her arms around Alex's torso, holding her tight against her. She could feel Alex's hot breath on her face, smell the grease on her fingers from cooking, sensations that should have been impossible in a dream. She kept waiting for it to end, keeping her fingers crossed that it wouldn't. She didn't care if that meant she had died - truth be told, she was dead already.

"Alex, I-" Alex placed a finger against Dana's lips, her other hand running down the side of Dana's arm. Gentle fingers moved across the bare skin of Dana's stomach, tracing shapes on her flesh that made goosebumps rise one Dana's arms.

"I saw that you fixed up my bike," Alex said, her lips by Dana's ear. Tender kisses landed on Dana's neck, kisses that moved lower to find her collarbone. Alex's fingers slid up Dana's stomach, pushing aside the fabric of her bathing suit and finding the soft flesh of her breasts.

"I wanted it to remember you," Dana said, her voice little more than a whisper.

"Do you remember what happened on this night?" Alex asked her.

"We started making out on the balcony." Dana's hand was on Alex's hip. "Things got hot, but I chickened out. I was afraid someone would see us out here, so we went inside and made love in our room."

"Not this time." Alex snapped her fingers, and the porch light went out. Starlight illuminated the beach below, the clouds evaporating in the ghostly glow of the sky. "This time, no regrets."