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Forty-Two
Once I was done packing, I left my room with my backpack. The dining table had been cleared and Hikaru-nii’s door had been shut. Hiro-san was sitting on the couch in the living room and reading something on the phone.
I just stood there, eyes affixed on my brother’s door. To think that he wouldn’t even come to see me off…
“Let’s go.” I said as I walked past Hiro-san and towards the front door.
“Aren’t you going to tell Hikaru?” Hiro-san asked, not getting up.
I halted in the entryway.
He was right. If I had walked away just then, I would have regretted it later.
I walked back in and knocked on Hikaru-nii’s door. “Brother, I’m… going.”
I could see that the light was on inside from under the door but he gave me no reply. He… should have heard, right? He should have.
I couldn’t bring myself to stand there any longer to confirm. “Please take care of yourself. Call me if you need anything.” I made for the front door again. T
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Home Forty-Three
Hikaru-nii religiously skipped having dinner at home after that. Whenever one of us called or texted him, he would either not respond or he would say that he was busy. Even Kaori-nee’s mother had not heard from him after that. After Aki-chan heard that her father had called, she had wanted to talk to him too. When she couldn’t, she had asked- ‘Does Otou-san not want to talk to Aki?'It was difficult to tell her that it wasn’t like that. Honestly, it was just difficult to talk to her after that.Four days passed by and it was the weekend even before we realised it. However, Hiro-san had some work to attend to on Saturday afternoon and so he left immediately after lunch. I stayed back at his place for a while but then got too anxious and decided to head home. On informing Hiro-san after that, he had said that he would come to our place and then we could go back to his together.Hikaru-nii had not answered when I had called him so I was taki
Home Forty-Four
Did I have to actually say it out anymore? It seemed to me as though he had already figured it out. I could not bring myself to admit it. Confronted like that, I could not bring myself to deny it either.I had thought that it would be easier to tell my brother about us. I had not told him till then because he was still mourning Kaori-nee and I was trying to be considerate. I had thought that he would understand.“Kakeru, answer me.”What for? And, then what?“Kakeru!”“We’re dating.” I finally said it.“What?” He lowered his voice, his eyes pinning me to every word that I spoke.“I-I said that we’re dating.” I spoke deliberately and clearly. “Hiro-san is my lover.”He stared at me, then nodded. “Lover.”I swallowed nervously. “Yes.”“Since when?”“Almost two months now.”
Home Forty-Five
What seemed like an entire lifetime to me was probably just an hour or so on the clock. That was all the time it took for Hiro-san to get there. I had already seen that shocked look on his face two times before. It was easier for me to offer up a smile the third time. Nevertheless, he was by my side in an instant- his eyebrows scrunched up in a way that told me that I was the only one finding this pattern of meeting strangely amusing. “Kakeru, what are you doing out here?” He crouched before me and took my face in his palms. The worry I saw on his face just then- I wished that I was seeing it on my brother’s. “Meeting out in the hallway like this is really becoming our thing, isn’t it?” I chuckled. “It shouldn’t be though. What happened?” He looked me up and down. “Where are your shoes?” He found them soon after asking, then looked at me seriously. “Hikaru?” I looked towards the door. “I don’t think he’ll want to see you now.” “Huh?” “
Home Forty-Six
On unlocking the door, Hiro-san let me in first. He followed me in after locking the door and proceeded straight to the kitchen. "I'll get you something warm to drink. Go change or freshen up if you want to.” I could at least change into something warmer. “Mm. I’ll… be out on the balcony after that.” “Kakeru, it’s cold out on the balcony too.” He said apprehensively. “I’ll take a blanket with me.” I said and went into the bedroom. He had offered no further protest, so I changed into warmer home-wear, wrapped a blanket around me and headed out onto the balcony. It was a little cold but I felt a lot better after changing and wrapping myself up like that. With my back to the wall, I sat on the floor and brought my knees up to my chest, covering myself up with the blanket and looking out at the night. My eyelids felt heavy. It was probably because of all that crying from earlier. “Why are you sitting on the floor?” Hiro-san asked on findin
Home Forty-Seven
I opened my eyes fast because it was still too dark for me to see anything. I was breathing heavily and my eyes felt moist. There was a throbbing heaviness in my chest and my entire body felt numb. I had had a dream and it was painful enough to jolt me awake, almost crying, but I couldn’t even remember what it was about. It was rare for me to dream in the first place and, hence, a dream that was capable of leaving me in a wreck like that was even rarer. It made me close my eyes and try to recollect it again but all I could remember were the emotions and that I was not alone. Maybe… it was a good thing that I couldn’t remember it. I turned on my side and picked my phone up from the bedside table. The time was 01:57 am. I had barely just fallen asleep at 12:30 am too… I turned back and looked at Hiro-san. I was still lying on his arm but he had turned onto his back, his other arm lying over his stomach. He hadn't been awoken by my movement
Home Forty-Eight
He held my gaze and slowly smiled. “You seem sure enough about this.” Sliding one hand down my right arm, he grasped my hand. “Let’s go back to bed though.” Saying that much and indulging in a soft kiss, he led me back to the bedroom. He came to a stop next to the bed, turned to face me and took both my hands in his. I gave him a questioning look. “You don’t have to treat me like one of your women.” “What? This?” He raised our hands to ask. “It’s not that I am trying to be really gentle or anything. It’s… Despite all my experience and how eager I am now,” he placed my hands on his chest and smiled sheepishly. “I feel like such a boy.” His heart was pounding against my palms. I let go of his hands and wrapped my arms around his neck. “When was the last time that you dated someone for real?” “Towards the beginning of college. Why are you asking me that now?” I shrugged. “Because I wanted to know.” Then I kissed him. “Because this is… amu
Home Forty-Nine
I was the first one to wake up the next morning. However, I could not even bring myself to move from the position that I was in. For one, Hiro-san was still holding on to me closely. Secondly, my back hurt a bit. Moreover, I did not exactly want to move. The clock on the bedside table revealed that it was a little past 10:00 am. I had managed to somehow apply for leave on my phone last night before falling asleep. Considering that I had been wide awake before it, it was incredible how much that sex had taken out of me- actually, taken out of Hiro-san and I. Once was far from enough for the both of us and by the time we settled into each other’s arms after that, we barely had enough energy left to move. I looked up at his sleeping face. It was no wonder that he was so popular. Anyone would want to see a face like that as soon as they woke up. Ah… Now I wanted to kiss him. It was past 10:00 am anyway. He had slept enough. I moved his arm
Home Fifty
“You’re still not done?” I asked as I sat on the floor next to Hiro-san at the coffee table after my bath. “Maybe… one hour more?” “That’s okay.” I leaned against his arm. “I’ll wait.” “If you’re sleepy, please go to sleep.” “I can’t sleep properly without you, Hiro-san.” A lie… Maybe. “What is with that?” He laughed and patted my head. “Then, you can wait.” I nodded. I was planning on waiting anyway. I had left my phone on the coffee table next to his laptop. When I began looking around, I saw that the notification light was blinking. I reached out to take it. “Had someone called?” “No. I think you had a message though.” Hiro-san replied. “I did not check.” It definitel was a message and it had surprised me enough to make me sit straight up on reading it. “It’s from Hikaru-nii.” “Hikaru?” Hiro-san stopped what he was doing and looked at my phone as I opened the message. There were just two words on the
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