3. Friends and Family

Austin seemed to have caught himself again.

On our way home, he was talkative again. He told me about his team, his friends, his family and his other hobbys.

It was nice seeing him happy and smiling so brightly.

Our whole day spent together were funny and the soccer guy is a good person.

Eventhough I can't make friends, but Austin would be a good choice.

My companion bumped into my site from time to time, that I almost believed he got dizzy.

"Are you ok? You're swaying.", I asked, trying to hide my worries.

"No, I'm good, thank you. Just thinking, I would like to hold your hand."

"S-stop joking. We're not girlfriend and boyfriend." My blushing was definetly not hiden by turning away.

"Who says a couple has to be a boy and a girl. It's about love between two people, no matter who they are. Also, I don't have a problem with boys." He just looked at me, but I felt the shame showing on my face.

"Calm down, dude. I think your jumping to conclusions here.", was all I said before we reached my home and I slammed the door in his face.

I saw him standing there outside for a while after I left.

Shit, I think he know, that I was a bit out of character there. … He's moving so fast. … And I can't get too attached to this place or the people. I'm way more attached here than I normally would be. … I don't like it.

The next day my avoiding skills were put to the test. Truth be told, Austin was a tough opponent.

In the morning he waited in front of my locker, so i had to get my things a second before classes started and got a bit late to the lessons.

His next try was waiting in front of the classroom, when I thought he would long be gone.

Luckily for me, I saw him in the last second and made a run for it in the other direction.

I heared him shouting something, but I just kept going.

Lunch break I was punished with death glares across the room. Everytime he tried to come over, I would hint, that I would run away again, if he tries talking to me.

I know, childish move.

But, to my defense, I lost more friends than I could count over the years.

After a while you learn not to have any deep friendships or relationship for that matter.

Given, I'm only human too and can't escape completly from social interactions or emotions.

And if they get too deep, it leads for me to do this:

Avoid.

"Seems like I caught a ghost."

I almost had a heartattack when the hot soccer guy popped up out of nowhere, when I tried to leave the school quietly, and kept me from running away by keeping  hold of my collar.

"Are you trying to kill me?!" I griped at him and wished to whomever there is that I wouldn't be caught blushing.

"Hey, the ghost got visible! Almost thought you weren't at school today …" Austin seriously looked like he enjoys to tease me.

"What if I wanted to avoid you?" I asked provoking to gain some control here.

"Oh? Is that so? That would hurt my pride." Eventhough his statement was obviously sarcastic, there were also some hurt feelings in his voice.

"It isn't really something personal against you, but I don't want to hang out with you anymore."

"Do you mean for today?"

"No."

With these last words I pulled his hand away, turned around and left him behind, hopefully for good.

This was it, I made up my mind.

It would be hard and mean, but I have to cut off all contact with him.

After meeting Austin, I knew I was going to fall for him.

But why getting into a relationship you know will end in a heartbreak.

I just wanted to close up my room and be alone with my self-pity.

But fate always got it's own plans.

As I reached the family house, my new Mom Vanessa, welcomed me friendly.

“Ashley, I just got a call! Your grandmother wants to meet you.“

My first reaction was, that I was a bit surprised.“

You mean grandma Natascha?“ Which is Vanessas mother.“

No, your grandma Nona, the mother of your birth father …“ At first Mom sounded excited, but when she saw my expression changing, she got really quiet.

“Oh, ok, thanks … I will think about it and will talk with her.“

“Ashley …“ Vanessa seemed to have a guilty conscience, which made me emphatically and stop in my track.

“Mom, don´t worry. I will be forever grateful that you and Dad took me into your famiy, you are my parents now. It´s just that this is my choice to make.“

She took a deep breath and finally nodded in the end, I smiled thanking her and went up to my room.

More out of reflex I grabbed my phone and dialed Gabriels number and waited.

Sadly he wasn't picking up.

On the other hand another person was active for two.

Austin:

-         Hey Ash,

          I wanted to say sorry, if I put you in a difficult situation with my second hand confession. That wasn't nice. I didn't want to hurt you or make fun of you.

          So, I apollogize again and hope that we can stay friends.

           Love, Austin.

Something about this last part made my stomach hurt.

The desire to talk to Gab rised within me, or I would have thrown up on the floor.

Thats why I tried to reach the little guy a second time this evening. And really, he picked up.

"Hello?", he asked.

"Hey …". First I hesitated, but then I asked the redhair, ,,Did you just cry?"

The other side of the phone stayed silent.

For the first time my redhaired little friend stayed this silent and I got nervous.

What would possibly happen to a sweet little guy at night? Alone?