“Are you sure he is going to be home?” I shake my head at my father’s question, to be honest I have no idea, it is Sunday, normal people won’t be at work, but again this is Nathaniel Williams, and I doubt he is enjoying a lazy Sunday morning at home with Clark and Beth.
And unfortunately, this only leaves me with no other option but to call him!
Fuck!
I don’t want to call him, I don’t want to take his permission like a good girl, I don’t want to let him know I am coming and have him arrange the time that suits him, and I don’t want to give him the chance to prepare himself, to prepare more lies to tell
“This is a big house!” the look on my father’s house is the same I had on mine when I came here a few days ago, the house was indeed a magnificent piece of work, sadly though, I am not able to enjoy its beauty as I am directly reminded of all the things that happened here.The conversation with Nate, the time in his room, the things he told me, the way he affected me, the way my body responded to his, the dinner, the kiss, the feeling of my wet entrance pressed on his bulging member, the heat and lust in his eyes and in mine, the taste of him inside my mouth, it all comes back to me now as one big lump stuffed forcibly inside my throat, a bitter one that is.“She doesn’t look happy to see us!” my father whisper
“Is that her?!” my father whispers to me as we entered the reception room where I have shared coffee with Nate before, Beth didn’t offer us anything this time, not even a seat, and the gorgeous blondie had excused herself to go get Nate.The thought of that woman bothers me to the point where I, for a second, have forgotten why I came here in the first place, why is she that This is going to be difficult! I tell myself as I take a deep sigh, I am already fidgeting and hesitating, even though I have just received another confirmation about his relationship with that woman. maybe this is why you are hesitating, because the last hope just died in front of your eyes.
“Is that so? Can you tell her then why did you leak pictures of you two kissing in your house?!” hearing this, I feel the blood freeze in my veins, I turn to my father abruptly, with eyes begging him to say that I heard wrong.But instead, I see him raise his head challengingly, and the little blood which was left in my face is now completely drained!Oh No!!Fucking No!!I look at Nate with terrified eyes, wanting him to tell me that it is not what I think it is, but again, he has that same expression that makes me nauseous.
"Something is troubling you, sweety?" I look at my father's face and see concern written all over it, I didn't say much since we left Nate's villa, the wound in my heart is still fresh and bleeding, but even with that I am unable to shake this uneasy feeling that something is wrong, what if something happened to his father because of what he heard? I would never forgive myself if that was the case, The thought only made my mood go soorer, and my father was quick to notice it."Are you still thinking about what happened in that man's villa?""What is something happened to his father?" I ask, my voice laced with worried."And what is this whole thing is but another way to trick you, make you feel guilty about something that isn't even your fault!" My father spat making me look at him, so many words on the top of my tongue but i chose not to say any.How can i tell him about this feeling in my heart without sounding like a naive girl who is easily manipulated?
Come here, baby...you know what you have to do...Mama please, believe me!You are a bad girl, Natalia... Stop telling lies!Be a good obedient girl and this Won't hurt!But it hurts! It hurts so much and I hate it!Mama, he is hurting me when you are not around, he is making me do things like...Shush! Don't ever say this again!If you ever speak about this to your mom or anyone, I will have to punish you, now you don't want to be punished like last time, do you?Mama, he used his cigarettes to..What a filthy, lying, little shit you are! I told not to speak of this again!Hush now, baby...Mama, please make him stop!You bitch! I don't want to see you again in my house! Get out! Get out!You think this is over, baby girl?Mama! Please stop, you are hurting me!I don't want to see her! I swear i will kill her! The little skank! She is the reason!It will never
Why did this happen to us? right when I thought everything was finally going to be okay?Who is the one to blame?Is it us? Is it life?Can we blame it on life? Or was this entirely our own doing?But why us? And why you?The unanswered questions don’t linger for long, they fade away slowly into oblivion as if they never existed, and that scares me because they leave void and emptiness behind.The questions were painful, true, but I want them back, this void is much worse, it doesn’t cause me any pain, just numbness, random nihilism, nothing!I lift my heavy head and search the room I am in with my eyes, everything around me is either black or grey, I feel like I know this place but don’t know it in the same time, it is familiar in a way but completely new in another, I try to pinpoint the change that made me feel this way about this place, but I can’t, it feels as if I am looking at it with new eyes. I hear something in the back, it is noisy and disturbing but I can’t figure it out,
Where am I? I ask myself as I open my eyes in this strange…room, if I may call it that!A tomb would be a more befitting word thanks to these black walls, but unlike a tomb, this place is neither tight nor suffocating, it is quite spacious actually, the only flaw in it, besides the strange choice of color, is the roof, it is not only black but also low, lower than average that is, not to the point where I can’t stand tall on my feet though, it just feels closer I guess.The ground under me is black as well, as if made of perfectly sculpted obsidian, it is neither cold nor hot, and surprisingly not hard on my body, it feels as if I am laying on a mattress instead, not the fanciest but one which is decent enough to not give me sore muscles, what catches my attention though are the small little pattern engraved on the floor, they are beautiful, small, and unique, but above all, familiar, I don’t really recall where I have seen them before, nevertheless, they are really beautiful and I li
“Calm down, Natalia! Focus on my voice!” I look at the doctor who came to stand in front of me, her blue eyes staring at me with concern, and in her glasses, I see the reflection of another woman!Scooting away from her, I back away using my hands until my back hits the wall, it is not the doctor who made me this scared though, it is the reflection I saw on her glasses, and the realization that came with it.That woman! With the black messy hair and a dead pale face was me! I was looking at myself and yet I didn’t recognize me! Seeing my state, the doctor returns to her earlier spot next to me and starts patting my back again, I want to thank her, to tell her how much I am grateful for this small gesture of hers, and that I don’t want to be left alone in this state I am in, but I don’t, I can’t, and I am in no state to care about my good manners while surrounded with these questions and ambiguity.“It is okay, Natalia, you are safe now!” it is not okay! How can she say that it is okay