Warmth

To think one word can leave someone this frozen and numb.

To think that one word is capable of making a person forget how to breathe.

I remain in my spot, not even able to hang up.

Why do I feel this way?

I am not excited, I am not moved, I don’t feel any warmth, the butterflies in my stomach are probably dead or hibernating.

I don’t feel frustrated, I don’t feel angry.

I feel, numb…

Why would a simple word such as baby make me feel this way? As if the air had been pulled out of my lungs, as if I no longer have the ability to move or think.

For God knows how long, I feel like I am not only stripped off my identity, but of my humanity, as if I am no longer a human, I feel like I was a being, an almost conscious one that can sense its surroundings and itself, but not affect them.

I feel like a puppet, and from the back of my mind, the disgusted sneer resonates in my ears.

“You are worthless.”

I gasp at last, or my body does out of reflex due to the lack of air, I raise my hand to my fac