4

I stared at the MESSAGE for a full minute.

I typed back with shaking fingers.

Who is this?

UNKNOWN: You know who.

I looked up, scanning the cafeteria. Who wasn't here? Who always sat alone?

Nobody is looking suspicious

My phone buzzed.

UNKNOWN: 4pm.Behind the gym Don't be late, Mia Lane. Or should I say Maya?

At 3:55 p.m., I told Chloe I had a doctor appointment and slipped out the side gate. Behind the gym, the grass was overgrown. Mia had told me once that this is where kids go to vape.

Then I saw her

Lily.

I remembered her from art club. Lily Chen. Quiet, always drawing in the corner. She had been in art club with me and Jaxon in 9th grade.

She knew me.Maya.and I know her.

Lily was waiting, her backpack huge, her sketchbook sticking out.

"You got skinner as Mia," she said as her first sentence.

I almost laughed, despite being blackmailed.

"Lily...."

"You were my friend, Maya," she said, her voice shaking but loud. "In 9th grade art club, you were the only person who talked to me when I moved here. Then in 10th grade, you disappeared. You stopped coming to art club. You stopped eating lunch with me. You started... you started pretending you didn't know me. And now I see why. Because you're too busy pretending to be your perfect twin sister."

She said twin sister. So she knew. She had always known?

"How long have you known?" I whispered.

"Since 9th grade!" Lily shouted. "I saw your mom pick you both up once! You were both in the car, arguing! You think I'm stupid? I asked you about it the next day and you said, 'I don't have a sister.' You lied to me, Maya!"

I remembered that day.I denied it because I was afraid she might tell other people and Mia would hate me more so I never talk to her again. I lost my only friend.

"I'm sorry," I said. And I meant it more than anything.

Lily's eyes were wet. "I text you because I was angry. I saw you with Jaxon and heard your conversation yesterday,I felt like I should get back at you but I don't want to "

She wasn't blackmailing me to be mean. She was blackmailing me because she was hurt.

"I won't tell anyone," she said, wiping her eyes. "But you have to tell me the truth. Are you okay? Are they forcing you?"

No one had asked me that. Not Mom, not Dad, not Mia, not even Jaxon. Are you okay?

I broke.

I told her everything. I told Lily Chen the whole story while ants crawled on my pantyhose. The accident, the art school threat.

When I finished, Lily was quiet. Then she opened her huge backpack and pulled out her sketchbook.

She flipped to a page. It was a drawing of me. Maya, glasses crooked, holding a paintbrush, smiling. From 9th grade art club.

"I kept it," she said softly. "Because you were the best artist in our grade. Better than me. I really liked you I really love our friendship"

I touched the drawing. My hands were shaking.

"You're not stealing her life, Maya," Lily said. "You're finally living yours but in her clothes."

"If you need help being Mia like, I can help you not get caught. And if you need help being Maya again after this is over, I'll be here too."

"Don't tell anyone please?" I asked.

"I won't tell anyone," Lily said. "But Maya? One advice. If you want to be good at being Mia, you have to be a little mean. Mia is mean because she's scared. Scared people are mean."

Scared. I never thought Mia was scared.

Lily left first, through the main gate.I sat for five more minutes, then walked back to school to get my bag. Chloe was gone. The hallways were empty.

Except for Jaxon's locker. He was still there, waiting.

"You didn't come out the front," he said.

"How did you know I...."

He saw my face makeup smudged from crying.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

Second person today.

"I'm okay," I said, and this time it was a little more true.

He didn't say a word and walked, his hands on his pocket,I felt a bit sting I was expecting a hug ,some sort of affection but Jaxon already knows am not Mia so any form of affection had been cut off.

He was ahead I was behind him till he walked me to the gate again.He offered me his helmet,I collect it and climbed on his bike

The ride back home was quiet as he dropped me he rides away.I stay for a while looking at him before walking up to home.

I went to my room, took off Mia's clothes, and put on my hoodie.

Under my pillow, I hid Lily's drawing.

I had two allies now. One boy who liked Mia, and one girl who remembered Maya.

And I had three months left to be Mia Lane.

#####

Tomorrow was Wednesday. Mia had a cheerleading competition practice where she was captain. She had to do a full split in the air.

I have never done a split in my life.

God help me.

I had never been inside the varsity cheer locker room as Maya. As Maya, I wasn't even allowed to look inside.

As Mia, it was mine.

The uniform smelled like hairspray and that expensive vanilla perfume Mia uses. It had LANE in glitter on the back.

"Mia! You're back!"

The second I walked into the gym, the whole team ran to me.

It's not like normal hi. Like I was a celebrity. Freshmen holding my water bottle. "Mia, we saved your spot!" "Mia, we watched your old Nationals routine to learn!" "Mia, you're so brave after your accident!"

They were looking at me like I was a god. Because I was wearing Mia's face. Mia, who could fly.

"Mia flies today!" Coach Mrs. R shouted. "Let's show the baby team how Nationals pyramid is done!"

My stomach dropped to my shoes.

Chloe clapped her hands. She was already dressed, her co-captain badge shining. Since I was "Mia recovering," she was in charge.

Fly means I'm the top. The girl they throw in the air. The girl who has to do a full split in mid air and land smiling like she didn't almost die.

Mia could do it in her sleep. I have never done a split in my life. I can't even touch my toes.

"Coach, I... my leg still hurts from the...." I whispered.

Chloe walked over too fast and grabbed my wrist. Her pink nails dug into my skin.

"Mia, don't be dramatic," she said sweetly, but loud enough for everyone to hear. "You told Stanford you're cleared. If you don't fly, we lose. Do you want to lose Stanford for us?"

I just stared at Chloe my chest beating in fear then back at Mrs R before I could utter a sound...

"She's nervous," Chloe said loudly to everyone, smiling. "Our queen is nervous after her accident. That's normal."

She turned me around, face to face. Her perfume was so strong it made me dizzy.

"Listen," she whispered only to me, gripping my arms. "Just do what you always do. You are Mia Lane. You don't get scared. Okay?"

She said it like a threat and a pep talk at the same time.

My heart was pounding so loud I thought they could hear it.

"I'll try," I said.

They lifted me. Four girls, hands under my shoes, under my thighs. I was shaking so bad They were all looking up at me with so much trust. "We got you, Mia!"

"One, two, THREE!"

They pushed.

For a half second, I was in the air. The ceiling was so close. I could see the lights.I felt like maybe I could do it.

And weirdly, my body remembered. I had watched Mia do this a hundred times. I knew where the legs go. I knew the smile. My brain knew.

But my body didn't. My legs tried to split. They went maybe 60%. Not 100%. 60.

And fear kicked in then gravity remembered me.

I fell.

I didn't even scream. I just dropped so hard.I close my eyes out of embrassment but felt warm hands quickly hold me up

I open my eyes

Jaxon.

I don't know how he was there. He wasn't supposed to be in the gym. Boys basketball practice was next door. But he was there, was he worried I might mess up the practice?

The whole gym went SILENT.

All the cheerleaders rushed to me at once. "MIA! Oh my god!" "Are you okay!" "Mia, does your leg hurt!" They were all touching my hair, my hands, like I was a broken doll. They really do idolize her. They really do love her. Or the idea of her.

Chloe pushed through everyone, her face white. "Move! Move! Don't touch her! I'm her best friend!"

She grabbed my hand and squeezed so hard it hurt. "Mia, look at me, look at me only, are you okay? You scared me to death!"

She was clingy, her other hand rubbing my back in front of everyone. It wasn't comforting.

Jaxon didn't say anything. He just kept holding me. He wasn't looking at Chloe or the team. He was looking at me.Maya.

Coach Mrs. R blew her whistle so hard it hurt. "Lane! What was that? You've done this since seventh grade!"

"I... I forgot," I mumbled.

"You forgot how to split?" Mrs. R stared like she had grown two heads. "Chloe, take her to the nurse. Maybe the accident gave her amnesia."

"I'll take her," Jaxon finally said, his voice low.

"I'll take her!" Chloe said instantly.

"I got her," Jaxon said. And he didn't wait. He just picked me up bridal style and walked out , carrying me through the hallway while the whole cheer team stared.

My face was burning. I could feel my straightened hair falling on his shoulder. I was in Mia's tiny cheer uniform being carried by Mia's boyfriend, but he was holding Maya.

He didn't say a word the whole walk. His arms were strong and steady. My heart was beating so loud I thought he could feel it through Mia's uniform.

He pushed the nurse's door open with his foot and set me gently on the bed. The nurse wasn't there. It was just us.

He knelt down so we were eye level. He checked my ankle so gently.

"Does it hurt?" he whispered.

"No," I whispered. "I'm just... embarrassed. They all look up to Mia so much. I can't be her."

"You were good," he said. "For someone who never flew before, you were good. You saw it once and your body tried. That's more than most."

He was still holding my ankle. His thumb was warm on my skin.

He looked at me for a long time. His eyes went from my face Mia's face to my eyes, which are still Maya's.

My eyes filled with tears. I had been holding them since I fell.

"Hey. Hey, look at me. You're okay".

I shook my head"I just missed the landing. Mia never ....."

Jaxon sighed" Don't do that. Don't do the "Mia never" thing. You fell. It happens. Even to you."

He wiped one with his thumb before it could fall down my cheek.

I slightly shifted my knee that's start throbbing,he gently taps my knee

" Does that hurt here too?"

" A little."

"You're allowed to say it hurts, you know.

" It hurts.

He smiled. That soft Jaxon smile he does

JAXON:Good. Thank you for telling me. Listen, you don't have to be perfect at this. Do you want me help you with practice? I can help you with the practice. We can go slow. Just you and me, no one watching.

MAYA"You would do that? You have varsity."

JAXON"For you? Yeah. Every day if you need it. You're not going to fall alone again. I got you."

MAYA "Promise?"

JAXON "Promise."

Outside, we could hear Chloe's voice in the hallway, calling, "Mia? Mia, where did he take you?"

Jaxon sighed "Your clingy best friend is coming. Want me to hide you in here?"

I laughed.

Chloe burst into the nurse's office like she owned it.

Jaxon stood up from the bed

"What the hell, Jaxon?" Chloe snapped the second she saw him. She didn't even look at me first. "Coach said me not you. You can't just carry my best friend away."

Jaxon put his hands in his pockets. He looked calm.

"She fell. I was closer," he said.

"You're always closer lately," Chloe said, her eyes narrowing. She walked physically pushing him away from the bed. "Weird, huh? Since the accident, you're like her shadow.

"I was worried," Jaxon said, looking at me "We all were."

He mouthed _text me_ and left. He didn't slam the door. He just left, quiet.

And then it was just me and Chloe in the small nurse's room.

The nurse still wasn't there. It was just us, the smell of alcohol wipes, and the buzzing light.

Chloe sat on the bed. Right next to me.She grabbed both my hands.

"Mia," she said, her voice soft now, but too soft. Like she was talking to a baby. "Look at me."

I looked.

Her eyes were full of tears. Real tears.

"Why are you acting weird?" she whispered.

My heart stopped.

"What? I'm not..."

"You are." She squeezed my hands harder. "You are weird. You don't call me at night anymore. You don't send me selfies.You've been weird for two weeks. You don't laugh at my jokes. You don't let me use your lip gloss.You now leave with Jaxon . We NORMALLY leave together."

Mia and Chloe left together. I didn't know that.

"You let Jaxon carry you. You never let boys carry you. You said that's desperate. You flinched when I hugged you yesterday. You flinched, Mia. You never flinch. We have been best friends since 7th grade and you have never flinched when I touch you.And you fell today," she continued, her voice cracking. "Mia Lane does not fall. You have never fallen "

I try to breathe calmly "Chloe, I had an accident, I told you my leg..."

No!" she cut me off, loud. Then she lowered her voice again"No, it's not your leg. I know you. Your leg is fine. You walked fine to the bathroom today"

She leaned in, her forehead almost touching mine again, her hands now on my shoulders.

"Did someone hurt you? Did someone say something?"

She was spiraling.

"Tell me," she whispered, her eyes searching my face Mia's face for something only Mia would know. "Tell me what we did on the last day of 9th grade. In my garage. Only we know."

Oh my god. I don't know. I wasn't there. Maya wasn't invited to Chloe and Mia's 9th grade secret garage party.

I froze. My mouth dry.

Chloe saw my freeze.

Her face changed.

Her soft, crying face went blank.

"You don't remember?" she said, very quietly.

"I... I'm still foggy from the....."

"We swore we'd never tell anyone," she said, still holding my shoulders. Her fingers digging in now. "We swore on Mochi.We said if one of us tells, the other has to shave her head. You remember my cat? Mochi? "

"I remember Mochi," I whispered, lying. It was the only thing I could do.

Chloe stared at me for three seconds. Three long seconds.

Then she smiled. Wide.

"Good," she said, and she hugged me, hard, so hard I couldn't breathe. Her chin on my shoulder. "Good, you remember. I was so scared you forgot me too. I was so scared the accident took you away from me."

She was hugging me like she would never let go. Her arms locked around my neck.

"Don't ever act weird again, okay?" she whispered into my hair, still hugging. "I get so scared when you act weird. I love you so much, Mia. You're my only real friend. Don't leave me."

It sounded like love but it felt like a warning.

I patted her back, the way I think Mia would light, bored.

"Okay, Chloe. I won't."

She finally let go, wiped her eyes, and fixed my hair like nothing happened

"Come sleep over tonight. We can do face masks, like old times. I'll help you remember."

Sleep over. At Mia's house? No, at Chloe's house? Either way, I would be trapped for 12 hours being Mia.

I felt cold "I can't, my mom...."

"I already texted your mom. She said yes." Chloe smiled, showing all her teeth. "She said you need girl time."

Mom said yes. Of course Mom said yes. Mom loves Chloe because Chloe is Mia's perfect best friend and she worshipped Mia.

And I realized something cold

Being Mia isn't just hard because of cheer.

It's hard because Chloe doesn't want a best friend.

She wants to own her.