Chapter 2

My family was free now, and so was I. My consciousness began to fade. The bright voices and cheery laughter beyond the door sounded distant and indistinct.

"May the newlyweds be blessed with an eternity of happiness and the pitter-patter of tiny feet soon!"

"Cheers!"

It was so lively out there. At the very end, I thought I heard Mom laughing. It was an expression of genuine joy, the kind I hadn't heard from her in a very long time.

I was dead. And yet, somehow, I wasn't completely gone yet. I felt weightless, suspended in midair.

I looked down at the crumpled figure in the corner. Blood was still slowly seeping out, the dark red stains spreading across the rug. It was made of wool and would be difficult to clean.

Mom loved keeping things clean. She would be furious when she saw all this blood on the rug.

I wanted to crouch and wipe away the blood, but my hand passed straight through the rug. I couldn't grasp anything.

I hovered awkwardly beside my own corpse.

A little while later, I heard the guests leave.

Dad's voice came from the living room, filled with unmistakable delight. "Today has been such a wonderful day! Everyone congratulated us on having such a handsome son-in-law as Ian! He is certainly a blessing to the family."

Mom's voice was slightly hoarse, but her excitement was palpable, too. "Of course! Why would we settle for anything less? Anyway, enough of that. Most of the guests gave a cash gift instead of a present. We should tally up the numbers and keep a record of it."

I drifted out of my bedroom and into the living room. There were still empty wine glasses and plates here and there. A few stacks of money had been piled up on the coffee table.

Mom, Dad, Jess, and my brother-in-law, Ian Lowry, were sitting together on the couch, all four of them wearing tired but contented smiles.

It had been a long time since I'd seen such a cozy, blissful scene in this house. Ever since I got sick, the atmosphere at home had always been heavy and stifling. As long as I was around, they didn't dare speak loudly or laugh. Their eyes were always fixed cautiously on me.

To see them relaxing and enjoying themselves so freely like this…

It was nice.

"Hm? Where's Jon?" Ian abruptly started looking around. "I didn't see him just now when we were making the rounds. Is he in his room?"

The atmosphere tensed. The smile on Mom's face stiffened, and she snorted coldly. "Don't bother about him. He's throwing a tantrum in his room. He just had to go and ruin things for us on a day like this. He even used a knife to threaten me just now, saying he didn't want to live anymore."

"He had a knife?" Ian cried out in alarm. "I thought there weren't any in the house!"

"Well, I gave it to him!" Mom slammed down a stack of money onto the table. "I was fed up! He keeps threatening us every day by saying he wants to kill himself, so I gave him the knife to see if he'd actually do it! And what happened, huh? He just scurried back to his room to hide instead!"

As I hovered in front of Mom and took in her fuming expression, I wanted to shout to her, "Mom! I'm not hiding! I really took my life. I'm dead now."

But even though my lips parted, the sounds that came out just dissipated into thin air.

"Mom, we should still check on him." Ian was concerned. He stood up and glanced at my room. "Jon hasn't been doing too well these last few years. What if—"

"What could possibly happen?" Mom cut him off and grabbed his arm to stop him, her tone harsh. "You just joined the family, Ian, so you have no idea what he's like. He's only acting like this because we've indulged him too much! He's just an attention seeker, and the more attention you give him, the worse he gets. Listen to me and just ignore him!"

Dad lit a cigarette, took a deep drag, and blew out a ring of smoke.

"Jon's just too selfish. All he ever thinks about is how miserable he feels. He never considers the rest of the family.

"It's Jess' wedding day today, and on such a joyous occasion, he just had to go and ruin it for the rest of the family. We haven't had a day of peace in the last few years because of him. This time, we should let him stew in his room and reflect on himself for once."

I stared at Dad in disbelief. He had always doted on me. When I was a child and scraped my skin after falling off my bicycle, he spent the entire day fussing over me. But now, after I'd slit my throat, he was sitting here calling me selfish.

I turned to Jess. She was clutching a stack of money as well, her expression dark and unreadable.

Her eyes flitted toward my bedroom door. It was shut. Her lips parted, but in the end, she simply lowered her head and went back to counting the money.

"That's true. It's really time for Jon… to fix that attitude of his."

It felt as though my heart had been squeezed.