I Broke His Heart to Save Him

My mother had just helped me into bed when Apollo's mother showed up. I wasn't surprised. Lady Leto had always had perfect timing—bad timing, depending on how you looked at it.

She stood in my doorway with that same expression she had worn eight years ago. Guilt and urgency mixed together, like she was about to ask for something she had no right to ask for, but she was going to ask anyway because she had already decided that her son's divine future mattered more than my life.

"Aria," she said, stepping inside. Her voice was soft, almost gentle. That was how she always started. "I need a favor. A very difficult favor."

I watched her face turn red. She kept opening her mouth and closing it again, like a fish gasping for air. I didn't let her finish. I already knew why she was here.

It was the same as eight years ago.

Eight years ago, when I first received the oracle's prophecy, Lady Leto rushed into my chamber before the tears on my face had even dried. I was still trying to understand what a mortal curse meant and struggling to process the fact that my life was fading at eighteen when she knelt right there on the cold marble floor.

"Aria, please. Don't drag Apollo down. The High King just chose him for an eight-year campaign in the frozen wastes beyond the North Wind. If he finds out you are cursed to die, he will never leave."

I remembered how her voice had cracked, how her eyes had glistened with tears. She looked so sincere. So desperate.

"You and Apollo grew up together. You've been together all these years. I'm begging you—break his heart. He is destined to inherit the throne of the Sun, and you are fading. How can you hold him back?"

I didn't answer. I couldn't. My throat was too tight.

She took my silence as permission to continue. "I've already worked it out. I'll find a young mortal warrior—someone from a neighboring polis, someone Apollo doesn't know. You just have to pretend to kiss him down by the bank of the Anphissos river. Let Apollo see. Pretend you betrayed him. Force him to leave."

She said it like it was simple. Like breaking Apollo's heart was no harder than casting aside a cloak.

And because I was eighteen and terrified and convinced that I was already as good as dead, I said yes.

So instead of seeking a cure from the gods, instead of fighting for my life, I spent my first weeks of dying pretending to betray the only person I had ever loved. I forced him to hate me. I drove him to the edge of the world.

Now, eight years later, Lady Leto stood in my chamber again.

"Aria, don't blame me. I have no choice." She twisted her hands together. "Apollo's new bride, Chloe—she is a high nymph of royal lineage. When Apollo ascends, she will rule alongside him. They are perfect together in every way. I'm begging you—just let them be happy."

She paused, and her voice dropped lower. "You know how much Apollo used to love you. He carried you in his heart since you were both children. If he ever finds out the truth about what happened back then... I'm scared. I'm so scared of what he might do."

"So please. Just stay away from him. You're dying anyway. It's not like you should be leaving the estate, right?"

The moment that word left her mouth—dying—my mother slammed the clay pitcher she was holding onto the floor. Terracotta shattered. Water splashed across the stone tiles.

My mother's face was red. Her whole body trembled with fury. I knew she was about to explode, to say things that couldn't be taken back, to burn bridges that I wasn't ready to burn.

So I grabbed her arm and shook it gently. A small, silent plea. Please, Mom. Not yet.

She looked down at me, and her anger crumpled into something softer, sadder. She bit her lip and stepped back.

I turned to Leto. My voice came out calm—calmer than I felt.

"Lady Leto, I can promise you one thing. I won't tell Apollo what happened eight years ago. But I can't promise not to see him. I can't stay away."

Leto's face tightened. She opened her mouth to argue, but I kept going.

"You don't understand. I've spent eight years fighting this curse. Eight years of purification rituals, failed enchantments, and pain that made me want to tear my own skin off. The only thing that kept me breathing was the thought of seeing him again."

My voice cracked a little. I steadied it.

"So no. I won't hide in this house until I pass. I'm going to see him. Every chance I get. And if that makes things difficult for you and your perfect Chloe, then I'm sorry. But I'm not sorry enough to stop."

Leto stared at me. Her mouth opened and closed a few times. Then she nodded stiffly, turned, and walked out of the chamber.

My mother didn't say anything. She just sat on the edge of my bed and took my hand.

I leaned my head against her shoulder and closed my eyes.

The truth was, I hadn't been entirely honest with Lady Leto. Yes, I wanted to see Apollo. But not because I hoped to win him back. I knew that was impossible. He had a divine bride now. A sacred union ahead. A whole life that didn't include me.

I just wanted to be near him a few more times before my time ran out. That was all.

Was that really too much to ask?