Chapter 7: The Roof Is Not a Date

I wore the good jacket. I want that to be on the record, because it is the single most embarrassing fact in this situation. A man threatened me via text message and all i could think about in my closet was the navy one, probably

The stairwell to the roof had been accessed from the men's maintenance door on the library, which was supposedly always locked, but wasn't that day, and at the top of the stairs, the wind knocked me back, because it had taken the sky, which had turned bruised-purple, for its own. Lucas Hale stood at the far end of the roof with his back to me, hands in his pockets.

"You came," he said, without turning around.

"You said to come alone."

"I said lots of things." He turned then, and the wind had done wonderful things to his hair, and made him look even more dangerous than usual. "I didn't think you would."

"Then why did you?"

"To see if you would." He took a step closer, and i leaned back, until my shoulders hit a cold pipe. He put one hand on the metal next to my head, the other on my hip, and the heat from him rolled over me. "You've changed, you know. The old you would have brought a friend. Or a lawyer."

I laughed, then stopped, because he didn't look amused. "Look, if this is about the cafeteria, the boot thing was weird, and i would like it noted that i did nothing."

"You did nothing," Lucas said slowly, "that's your defense."

"It's a good defense."

"It's a coward's defense." He took another step closer, until i could feel his breath on the side of my neck, and i was suddenly very aware that my heart was beating so fast, he could probably hear it. "You touched me at that party, and then you went home with him. Tell me how many times you've imagined doing something like that since."

"I don't know what you want me to say."

"The truth would be new." His voice was quieter, suddenly. "Tell me what you're doing with Anthony."

"I like him."

"Liar."

"I do!" It came out too loud, because it was true, which was inconvenient. "He's kind. He's good. I would never hurt him."

Something flickered across Lucas's face, something feral, and then it was gone. His jaw tightened. When he spoke, his voice was very quiet. "The old you didn't say things like that."

"What old me?"

It was strange, the way his eyes followed mine, not with anything like malice, but with the same curiosity that a man might see a house he'd once lived in, and wondered if the electricity still worked.

"Tell me something." He stopped a few feet away, and his eyes were unreadable. "What's my middle name?"

I blinked, and my system gave a small startled hiccup. "I, um. Alexander?"

"No." "Andrew?"

"No."

"Is it a trick question? Is it Lucas?"

"It's Dominic." He sounded almost amused. "I told you that once, in the dark, on a tuesday. You said it was a ridiculous name for a guy who looked like a delinquent."

I stared at him. My bones had turned to ice. "I don't remember that."

"I know." Lucas's voice was quiet. "That's the part i can't explain."

Behind me, the stairwell door slammed open. Lucas was gone faster than i had ever seen a man move. One moment he was there, the next he had my wrist and was pulling me backward, around the tank, into the space between it and the wall, two feet wide, where the smell of rust and rain clung. His chest was tight against mine, one leg between my knees, and his hand was over my mouth.

"Don't" he mouthed against my ear, "make a noise."

I nodded, or tried to, because my entire body had turned into electricity.

"Hello?" Anthony's voice sounded, warm and confused, across the roof. "Is somebody up here? Babe? Your roommate said you came this way."

Lucas's hand was warm where it was over my mouth. His other hand had wandered down to my hip, keeping me still, and every time i moved, his fingers tensed. I could hear his heart now, steady and slow and a little uneven, and i met his eyes. He was watching the sky, calculating something.

"Affection," the system said, and my skin prickled. "Nineteen percent. Twenty-two. Twenty-six."

"Huh," Anthony said, sounding a little closer. "Lucas? Is that you up there? I thought I saw your bike downstairs."

Lucas closed his eyes briefly. Then he took his hand off my mouth, and he looked across at the stairwell. "Over here."

I wanted to die.

"There you are." Anthony came around the tank, sending my hair flying, a bag in one hand. He looked from Lucas to me, as if he really wanted to understand something, and i watched the relief cross his face, until he really understood. "And you found him! Okay. This is weird, why are you two hiding behind a tank?"

I think Lucas said it at the same time i did.

"It was structural integrity." I said quickly.

"We were just discussing the roofing," Lucas added.

Anthony gave us a strange look. For one terrifying moment i actually thought he was buying it, and for an even more terrifying moment i watched him decide not to look behind the tank. "Anyway! I brought dumplings. And i have news. My sister wants us both to come to dinner on saturday, and I told her i would ask you to come too, lucas, because she's been asking about you for ages."

"I'd love to," Lucas said immediately.

I turned my head slowly, and watched him smile. It was a small, frightening smile, and he looked right at me the whole time.

"I'll bring someone," he said.

"Great!" Anthony said, delighted. "Bring a friend."

"Not a friend."

Something between Anthony's cheerful goodbye and the closing of the door behind him, Lucas dropped something in my jacket pocket, a cold weight that clinked against my phone.

"Check the tag," he murmured, so quietly i almost missed it. "Then tell me you don't remember."

I waited until i was alone in my dorm room, the lights off and the door locked, to look. It was a brass key on a loop of string, and the string had a small yellowed note attached, written in a hand i didnt recognize but somehow expected.

Two lines in blue ink. The first one said,

L, I'm sorry.

The second was blood red, pressed into the paper so hard it tore, and it said,

I couldn't stay.