Chapter Four: Jace

  I will admit that kissing Maxxie was terrifying. You'd think that me of all people would be mighty and fearless. Usually, I was. But I'd had my eye on Maxxie since the beginning of freshman year. I'd never talked to him until this year because I was scared--yeah, the popular kid was scared--and I didn't want to mess anything up. To me he was perfect in his own geeky way.

But his lips were everything I'd imagined they would be and more. In truth they were a little dry and cracked, but I liked it. I liked the feel of the scratch on my own lips. It was nice to know that such a perfect person could have even just one tiny imperfection.

Just as quickly as they had been placed there, my lips were parted from Maxxie's. I stared at him, a smile on my face. I could feel the excitement coursing through my veins. He smiled back, but his twinkly blue eyes were confused behind his glasses.

Then it hit me.

I had just kissed Maxxie. I had kissed another guy impulsively! I was so stupid! How could I be so careless? Maxxie probably wasn't even gay! And if he wasn't that meant that I had just revealed a huge secret--one that I knew he'd probably never tell--and I had screwed any future with Maxxie that I had.

I was the dumbest person on this planet Earth.

"I am...so sorry," I told him. "It was impulse. I'm so so so--"

"Um, Jace?" Maxxie piped. I looked at  him sheepishly from the corner of my eye.

"Yeah?"

He bit his lip before saying, "I...I liked it. I'm...um...gay. Are...are you gay?"

I felt as if I had died and gone to heaven. I couldn't stop laughing at how cute he was.

"Yeah, I'm gay," I replied.

He nodded. He then frowned and stared at his hands. Though I couldn't help but keep smiling, I couldn't help but wonder what was troubling him. I wanted to make things right and perfect in his life. I didn't want to see him hurting in any way.

"Can I ask you something?" he asked.

I nodded. "Anything."

He chewed his lip. He looked up at me and asked, "Why did you kiss me?"

I stared at him carefully. If I could name all the reasons why I had kissed him, we would be here forever. In my eyes he was perfect in every way. He was smart, gorgeous, kind, and cute in that geeky way. He was everything I'd ever wanted in a guy, though I didn't portray it. The kind of person like him was hard to find.

My hands were shaking as I took Maxxie's hand. I smiled softly as I said, "I'm going to be honest here. I really like you. I have since last year but...I was too shy to speak to you. And now I've gotten the courage to talk to you and kiss you and--" I paused to smile hugely "--I've loved every minute of it."

I watched as his mind seemed to register the words I had said. He smiled at me sheepishly. My grip on his hand tightened. He bit his lip though he still smiled. He was such a cutie!

"I know that we don't really know each other that well but I would love to get to know you better," I admitted.

He smiled and nodded. "I'd like that. A lot."

I smiled and kissed him again, this time quick and careful, relishing every beautiful moment.

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       After everyone had left my wicked party, I had escorted Maxxie to the door and scrambled to clean everything up. Now it was Sunday morning and I was exhausted.

"Jace Riley Storme!" my father's voice boomed. "Get up! We need to be out the door and at church in fifteen minutes!"

I groaned and turned over in my bed. Church would have been better if my father wasn't best friends with the pastor. Pastor Mark was always watching me like a hawk, always keeping tabs on me. He would always inform my dad on everything wrong I did.

I heard my bedroom door swing open. My dad's loafers padded across the carpet. I was trying not to groan when he pinched my ear. I yelped and stared up at him. He scowled and I scowled back.

"Are you deaf?" he demanded. "Get up! Let's go!"

I groaned. I swung my feet out of bed. He walked out of the room, grunting the whole way.

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The only good thing about church--besides learning about all things Holy--was Primrose. She was the pastor's daughter. She was smart, kind, loving, and fun even though she followed what her dad said far too much. I had tried to convince her to get out of her shell, but nothing ever worked. Plus, she had a secret that only I knew. She would get exorcised if her father ever found out that she was a lesbian.

As usual, my father ordered my family to arrive at church half an hour earlier. Primrose was waiting for me in front of the church, her Sunday dress fluttering in the wind. Her caramel hair was in loose curls around her smiling face. She waved at me as I walked out of the car.

"Hello," I said as I reached her.

She grinned. "Hey."

We walked around the back of the church. As we did so, I noticed my mother and our fathers staring at us. They had smiles on their faces. I just kept walking.

Once we were at the back of the gray stoned building, I leaned against it. The view behind the church was so beautiful. There were lush meadows and trees and flowers. The view captured the entire beauty of everything.

Primrose nudged me. "So, have you made your move on mister Geeky-Pants yet?"

I grinned and nodded at her matter-of-factly. "Why yes I have. I did last night at my party. We are now a couple."

She grinned and threw her arms around me. "That's awesome!"

I chuckled. She unwound her arms from around me. I nudged her with my elbow. "How about you? How's that foxy red head you were telling me about?"

She frowned and put her finger to her lips. "Shush. My dad can probably hear me."

I rolled my eyes. "Maybe you're telling me about a foxy red headed guy. So how is she?"

A smile returned to her face. I grinned and bore my eyes expectantly into her. She finally cracked.

"We got to second base," she admitted. "It was awesome."

I grinned. I stared out into the fields, just staring at the beauty of everything. I looked at a patch of flowers and I noticed they seemed to be making a rainbow. I cocked my head to one side and grinned.

"Those are our flowers," I pointed out. Primrose nodded.

Primrose looked at me and asked, "Do you ever wish you weren't gay?"

I looked at her, startled. She was always saying that she was so proud of who she was. Where had this question come from and why?

"No," I replied. "I don't ever wish that I wasn't gay. I'm proud of who I am."

She raised an eyebrow. "Then why haven't you come out yet?"

I blinked. Primrose and I were in sort of the same predicament. She couldn't come out to her dad because he wouldn't allow his o'Holy daughter to like the same gender. I couldn't come out to my friends and family because they wouldn't allow the successful popular kid to like the same gender. She fully knew my reasons for not coming out. Why was she asking me why?

"The same reasons as you," I replied.

She stared at me and said, "Hmm." It wasn't mean or anything. It was more just matter-of-factly.

She looked out into the meadow. I wondered what she was thinking.