Chapter one

Something about Xavier felt different tonight. He no longer smiled the way he usually does, when he sees me.

The affectionate glares, the touch and the mesmerizing look he usually gave me were all missing. I don’t know why I seem to feel this way or maybe I am wrong. Maybe I am overthinking things.

Today was supposed to be our happy day. By the look of things his gestures says otherwise, like he wanted to get things over with as soon as possible.

‘Xavier, is everything alright?’ I asked him. He had just stepped into my dressing room.

The makeup artiste was still doing her job in making me look aesthetically pleasing.

He only gave a slight nod to my question.

I was still dressed in my bridal robe.

Then his voice came ‘Won’t you get changed? The priest is already here. We can’t keep everyone waiting’ He smiled, but it wasn’t the kind of smile that reached his face.

‘Soon’ I replied him. He walked away without saying anything further.

‘Please, can you hasten up? I need to join him at the alter soon’ I voiced out trying to make the artiste increase her pace.

Immediately I was done, the wedding dress trolley was pushed in by two maids. My lips curved into a smile when I saw the dress.

Today was finally the day I had been waiting for. Not only I, but also Xavier. Just that his facial expression wasn’t representing the plans we had listed two weeks ago.

We had carefully planned the wedding together.

Our wedding.

We only hired decorators to follow the blue print we had made.

We got the rings that would be exchanged by ourselves too. In the most expensive ring mall.

‘Help me zip up my dress’ I instructed the maid and she did so without hesitation.

‘Finally!’ I exhaled as I looked at my final look in the mirror. I adjusted my gown down. The wedding gown hung perfectly on my skin with a slit at the lower part of it.

The gold heels were strapped to my leg and after that I walked out of the dressing room.

As I descended the stairs, I felt all eyes on me. Xavier was right down there, the expression on his face made my stomach twist. Then it suddenly switched. Or am I imagining things? His earlier expression which I couldn’t decode was replaced with a smile.

It was the same exact smile that didn’t reach his face.

He held his hand out to me, I took it. Then he led me to the seat that was prepared for me. He then sat close to me. I took a stare at his handsome face. The same one I fell in love with years ago.

He didn’t even turn to look at me. The Xavier I know would have noticed how long I stared at him. Xavier would have teased me about it.

‘May the bride and groom now step forward’ The priest voice came. Those words removed me from the intrusive thought taking space in my head.

He stretched his hand forward to me again. His hand felt warm.

We stood opposite each other on the altar. I looked at the congregation and there I saw Xavier’s dad and his mom whispering into each other’s ears.

We didn’t invite much people. I had told Xavier not to. None of my family came to witness my wedding. I had only my Dad, but he was out of state and his flight was scheduled till next week. My best friend is currently with her ill mother in the hospital

I wouldn’t want Racheal to leave her mother behind because of me. We all have our things to deal with.

‘Renee love please don’t be angry at your father. You know I love you. You have my blessings. Extend my greetings to my son-in-law’

Those were my father’s exact words to me.

I shook my head, trying to get it off my mind, all the things that were bothering me. Today should be one of the least days I should be worry about anything. It was my happy day.

The priest was dressed in white attire, and a rosary hung on his neck. He held the holy bible in his right hands.

‘Dear beloved, we are gathered here today in the presence of God, family and friends to witness the celebration of this man and woman in holy matrimony’ The priest paused, and then continued. ‘If anyone here knows any lawful reason why these two shouldn’t be joined together in marriage, let him speak now or forever hold his peace’

This part was greatly importantly to me. I looked around from faces to faces. I couldn’t imagine someone raising his or her hand and destroying the happy home I already imagined myself building, with Xavier.

I heaved a sigh of relief when I saw no one was coming forth.

The priest shifted his gaze from the congregation, and then to us. 'Please join hands’ He noted.

Xavier’s hand and mine were placed on top each other’s.

The priest then faced Xavier. ‘Do you Xavier, take Renee to be your lawfully wedded wife, to love and cherish her, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, forsaking all others, as long as you both shall live’

There was a pause for a split second. I could swear it was a second.

‘I do’ Xavier replied softly.

Then the priest faced me and repeated the same words.

‘I do’ I answered without hesitation. I giggled inwardly. This day was finally coming true. I still can’t believe it. I am finally becoming Xavier’s wife.

‘May I have the rings?’ The priest’s voice brought me back from my thought land.

Xavier brought out the rings.

‘Now, you can exchange the rings’ the priest instructed.

Immediately we did that, cheers tore from the congregation. I smiled back at them.

Xavier looked blank. I couldn’t read him at all.

‘By the authority vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride’ The priest’s words came. I glanced at Xavier, but he wasn’t looking over to my side.

I bit my lips silently. He was supposed to say something or make a move. At this moment, I felt my feet glue to the ground. I clasped my hands around my bridal flower.

If the flower could make a sound, it would be screaming for freedom right now.

‘Let’s skip that part’ Xavier’s voice came.

I almost made a move, like come on this is the part most couples are usually excited for, but my Xavier, my very own just said we should skip that part.

My mouth opened. I wanted to say something, but no words came. My voice failed me at the point where I really needed it. My hold on the flower tightened once again.

‘I prefer that be done in private’

‘Awww he is shy’ I heard some voices from the congregation.

So, Xavier was really shy? That was news to me. I smiled. Xavier’s eyes met mine, but he was the first to look away. I don’t know why he did that. This is the third time today he is avoiding my gaze.

‘Is he really shy’? I thought

After we made the vows, Xavier’s parents were the first to wish us.

‘I wish you a happy marriage. I hope you two at the end of the day don’t waste time to produce grandkids for me before I take my last breath’ Xavier’s mom held my hands in hers, a smile dragged across her lips.

‘My daughter enjoy your marriage and I wish you a blissful marriage together’ Xavier’s dad said, he placed a short kiss on my forehead.

This made me feel appreciated and welcomed as part of their family. And just this gesture of Xavier’s father made me miss my father even more.

And in a fleeting moment, the wedding-my happy day had come to an end.

‘Excuse me Renee. I will be right back’ Xavier walked away from me to meet his parents.

I stood alone for some minutes. My eyes refused to keep to its’ self. I glanced over where they stood and chattered quietly. My mind wandered and I wondered what they were saying.

Different thoughts began to hit me left and right, side and center. The adrenaline rush that raced through my veins was nothing I could explain.

Did they really choose me? Or are just keeping up with me with fake smiles, because Xavier chose me.