Chapter four

I didn’t sleep, I just couldn’t. Taking that nap without seeing Xavier? That wasn’t going to happen. The room was dark. I had turned off the lights. My hand went to the lamp on the night stand. I pressed the on button and light came.

I saw it. He shifted back.

‘Was he surprised to see me still awake?’

I stood up still on my wedding dress and held the long part up.

I saw as he proceeded to turn on the lights of the room. I blinked because of the light. There he stood. He bit his lips.

‘Xavier. Where did you go?’ I started, still holding up my cloth

‘Why are you still dressed in this?’

He just did what I hated. First, his response, as if the name ‘Xavier’ didn’t belong to him. And then, second, he evaded my questions.

‘I believe you should answer my question first, before asking me another. A question should always end with an answer, and not another question’ I shot at him. My voice came out sharp, my heart began to do its’ tantrums like I shouldn’t be the one controlling it.

Minutes passed. Silence followed.

‘It was all work. Nothing else I promise. Now can you change out of this?’ He didn’t move from where he was.

And when he did, he didn’t walk up to me. He turned to the door and grabbed its’ handle.

‘Xavier!’ I called out to him again. I saw him close his eyes, before opening it again.

‘I am listening’ He said, turning.

‘Where are you going to again?’

‘To my room’ He replied.

I laughed, but it was the one hidden with pain. ‘To your room. What happened to sharing one bed as a couple. You are actually acting strange’

‘I know you are tensed, but as a married couple we should now share a bed. Have you forgotten how I teased you about it?’ I asked.

‘You did.’

What I heard from him was more of a question rather than an answer. I was expecting him to tease him back, but that didn’t happen. That was it? All I got was a dry reply.

Maybe it was the marriage stress. After today things should go back to normal. His response should go back to normal. His acting strange, should also go back to normal.

‘I need your help with my zip’ I beckoned on him.

‘Sure’

Sure? Again. No sweet word.

‘You look so tensed up?’ I said, I could bottle it in anymore.

‘You know how I am’ He responded.

He struggled with the zip. I couldn’t help but laugh.

‘Xavier, so you also can’t handle a zipper today’ I laughed at him.

‘Here’ he zipped it down easily, and then I turned to looked at him.

‘I knew you know how to do it. It wasn’t your first time helping me out’ I wrapped my arms around his neck ‘I knew you were tensed’

I looked at him in his eyes as if I could stare into his soul. His eyes struggled to maintained eye-contact.

‘Shy?’ I pinched his nose slightly.

He removed my hand from his neck. ‘Go get changed’

‘Xavier’ I pouted.

‘I don’t have time for this. I need to work’

‘No, you won’t do any more work. Today is meant for us. Leave work out of it please’ I pleaded.

All I wanted was him with me tonight. It wasn’t much to ask as a married couple. Was it?

I know my Xavier as a man who loves work, but this was going extreme. Or was I overthinking?

‘So, you want me here?’ He asked, his voice sounded like he had thought about what he just said for the hundredth time.

I nodded my head, and I raised my legs up, placed a short kiss on his lips.

He froze. The expression on his face amused me.

‘Are you shy? It’s only us and we are all alone’ I tried to wave off his shyness ‘Xavier you forgot my shoe size again’

I shook my leg in the flip flop, it shook left and right easily ‘This isn’t my size darling’ I reminded

‘It looks good on you though’ He replied.

“Oh! No’ I gasped. ‘This isn’t right’

~

I got into the shower and got changed. Xavier was shy about the kiss. I didn’t want to overstep by changing in his front.

I already had enough of the way he was tensed.

I stepped out of the bathroom, but Xavier was already on the bed. He was out of his suit too. He wore shorts and a round neck.

There he laid asleep. So soon?

Meanwhile, I was on a pajama. I found it in the bathroom.

Soon, the air conditioning in the room dried up my body so fast. I walked over to the side of the bed where Xavier lay.

I stared at his face, admiring his beauty. This was what made me fall for him at first and I fell harder with the way he treats me.

I looked closer at him, and inhaled him. The scent coming from him was very different, and that’s new? He now wears a new perfume? Surprising it was.

Soon his forehead creased and formed four unarranged lines. He began to turn his head left and right.

His body also shook. My hands shook, and my heart beat increased rapidly. What was going on with him?

I placed the back of my right palm on his forehead. He was burning up.

‘Xavier’ I called out, but it seemed as though I was talking to a stone. His body didn’t stop shaking and no reply came from him.

What do I do? What do I do? I began to pace up and down racking my head, like as if that could stop what was happening to him.

Then I remembered, The Movies.

I ran down the stairs in my pajama.

Barefooted.

I flung the flip flops away from my leg, because they weren’t helping matters. It slowed my running.

I ran and pushed the Kitchen’s door open. I got hold of the bowl I could see. Within the twinkle of an eye, I was back in the room.

I opened the wardrobe and found many clothes, in which I took one cotton material.

I soaked the cloth inside, and brought it out, squeezing out the excess water with all my strength. I went down on my knees and began to dab the cloth on Xavier’s forehead.

After few minutes, I used my hand to check his temperature with the back of my hand again. He wasn’t burning up like before.

‘No, Mom. No’ I heard him say.

‘Xavier, I am here for you’ I said, as if he could hear me. I held his hands in mine and placed kisses on it.

‘Please open your eyes. I need to know you’re fine’

‘Mom, Please. Mom…...no’ These words escaped his lips again.

Nightmares?

By the look of it, it didn’t seem like a good one.

Xavier never mentioned anything about having bad nightmares. We both agreed not to keep any secret from each other. But now this?

What more could he be hiding from me?

His body became still. I straightened up more.

His eye lids shook lightly. Then slowly, his eyes opened.

‘Thank God’ I gasped, and let myself fall freely to the ground. The fears I had immediately vanished.

He sat up very quick, the cloth on his hand fell to the floor.

He looked at my direction, and opened his mouth to talk.

The words that came out from his, wasn’t what I expected. It felt like a whirl wind tossed me around.

‘Who are you?’ He asked, his eyes indifferent.