I Put My Ex on Sale

On our marriage registration day, I, Olivia Lawson, had been standing in line at the city hall for three hours.

I was holding my queue ticket when Harry Scott finally picked up my call.

"Olivia, Evelyn's cat went missing. She's emotionally falling apart and locked herself on the rooftop. I have to stay with her." His tone was completely matter-of-fact. "We can register our marriage anytime, but right now, Evelyn has no one but me."

I glanced at the number on the screen and calmly replied, "Okay. Go and help her find her cat."

After hanging up, I walked straight into the pawn shop next door and dropped the engagement ring Harry had given me onto the counter.

"Sir, cash it out. I'm going to have the most expensive steakhouse dinner I can afford."

After devouring two plates of premium steak, I felt fantastic.

When I opened the front door that evening, the living room was completely dark. I flipped on the lights and immediately saw Harry sprawled on the couch. His black jacket was covered in white cat hair.

When he heard the sound of the door, he looked up and immediately frowned.

"Why weren't you at home? Did you actually go to a steakhouse?" There was disbelief in his voice. "I thought you'd at least stay home and cry about not getting our marriage registered today."

I put the crispy chicken bites I'd brought home on the dining table and pulled out a chair. "Not getting registered today saved me nine bucks in administrative fees. Why would I cry over that?"

My gaze landed on the cat hair clinging to his collar. "Did you manage to find the cat?"

"We did." Harry sighed and rubbed his temples. "Evelyn was crying so hard she could barely breathe. She's been timid since she was little, and now she has a serious need for constant company. I'm the only person she can rely on.

"I went over to accompany her today. I was just acting as her emotional support companion. You're usually so understanding. Can't you stop being so petty just this once?"

As he spoke, he stood up and walked over to me. He was trying to put on his kind fiancé act.

"I was just helping her calm down. Nothing happened. Besides, I bought you such an expensive engagement ring. Isn't that proof enough of how important you are to me?"

I listened quietly to his long speech. I didn't scream at him or shed a single tear.

Instead, I pulled out my phone, opened the Venmo app, and held it out to him.

"What are you doing?" Harry froze.

"Collecting payment." I pushed the phone closer.

"Since you love being everyone's emotional support companion so much, fine. Let's put a price on it. Twenty bucks an hour. You were there for five hours this afternoon, so I'll round it up to a hundred. Pay me now. I accept cash advances too."

Harry's expression darkened instantly. "Olivia, are you seriously joking about this?"

"Who's joking?" I pulled my phone away and waved my balance in front of him.

"I already pawned the engagement ring. I got eight grand for it. Consider that the deposit for the emotional damages caused by you breaking our agreement to get registered today. As for the hundred bucks, that's your service fee."

The air seemed to freeze.

Harry stared at my phone. His voice suddenly shot up an octave. "You pawned the engagement ring? Olivia, have you lost your mind? That was a symbol of our love!"

"Think of it as an equivalent exchange." I leaned back in my chair. My voice remained perfectly calm. "You took my time and gave it to Evelyn to comfort her. I turned the ring into premium steak and cash. Seems fair to me."

"You're completely unreasonable!" Harry paced back and forth across the living room furiously. "Evelyn lost her cat. She needed me! How can you have so little empathy? A cat's life is still a life!"

"My empathy comes with a price tag. I don't provide free service. If you think she needs you more, you should be grateful I didn't charge you emergency-room rates."

I stood up, walked over to the television cabinet, unplugged the latest gaming console, and picked it up.

Harry stared at me. His eyes went wide. "What are you doing? Put my console down!"

I raised my phone and took a picture of the console. "If you're going to become a full-time emotional support companion, this thing will just collect dust."

My fingers flew across my phone screen. "Like new, with the original controller. I can make it free for a local delivery. I'll sell it on the secondhand market and put the money toward household expenses."

Harry lunged for it. I immediately raised my phone. "Try taking it, and I'll list your Alienware computer too."

His hand froze in midair. His face turned pale.

"Olivia, do you really have to take things this far? We're only postponing the registration by one day."

"Postponing? I think you misunderstood." I tapped on the screen to publish the listing and looked up at him. "I'm not marrying a part-time employee."

My phone suddenly buzzed. A buyer had already messaged me on the secondhand platform.

"Look." I held the screen up for him. "Someone already bought your console. I'm clearing out half of this house first thing tomorrow morning."