CHAPTER SIX — A CHANCE TO BREATHE.

Chapter 06.

A CHANCE TO BREATHE.

Abby's POV.

“Here, drink this.” Lydia said, offering me a glass of water while standing next to me.

“Thank you.” I received it from her, and drank some water.

I couldn't say exactly how I stayed without food for two days. Perhaps, the pain I felt was more than enough to fill me. But if I had decided to go one more day without food, then something bad might have happened to me.

I dropped the empty glass cup on the dining table. She took it, along with the plates as she cleared the table.

“I will be right back.” she said, leaving the dining room.

Alone, I sighed, and scrubbed my face with my hands. No matter how much I thought about it, it didn't make any sense to me. I mean, he was the sweetest thing on our wedding day, and just two days after that, he became someone else… something different.

“Abby?” Lydia called, tapping the table with a finger as she settled on a chair.

“Yes.” I answered, returning to the moment. “Is there something wrong?”

“I should be asking you that.” she said, scuffing her chair closer to the table. “I mean, you didn't even realize that I was back from the kitchen already. What were you thinking about?”

“I don't know.” I said, shrugging a shoulder. “Perhaps, I'm still trying to take in, and make sense of all that happened.”

“Yes, I get it.” she said, nodding her head. “It can be a lot to take in. But it is just what it is. There's nothing you can do to change it now.”

“I know.” I said, barely breathing the words. “I just wished things never happened this way. For a moment, it did look like I had everything I wanted in my grasp.”

“It is always like that.”

“But then, the next moment,” I paused, staring at my palms as though they held the answers to my questions. “It just seemed like someone pushed a button, and everything disappeared.”

“Sometimes, that's the beauty of life.” she said. “We have no idea what it brings our way the next minute.”

“Is this the same way you felt when you lost your husband?” I asked, lifting my face to her. “How did you live knowing he wouldn't be the same man you once knew?”

“I would be lying to myself if I said that it was easy for me.” she sighed, lacing her fingers on the table. “I felt bad. In fact, I thought that I won't be able to live through the next hour.”

“So, how did you do it?” I asked, shrugging a shoulder. “I mean, it's like none of that even happened to you to begin with. You seemed to have moved on. How?”

“It seems like I have moved on.” she said, doing the air quotes. “But the truth is this: we never really move on from heartbreaks. A part of us still feels the pain.”

“In that case, how do you manage to live?” I asked, in a curious tone. “From what you just said, I assume that the pain is still there somewhere. But you do so well to hide it.”

“That is because I find comfort in the fact that I warned him before he lost himself.” her voice dropped. “He just didn't listen to me. It started with a stranger he met. The stranger became his close friend who wouldn't stop visiting.”

“So, what happened?” I asked.

“I overheard this friend of his talking about some operation that would be held that night.” she said, lowering her head for a moment as if trying to pull herself together. “I went back in to talk to him about it, but he refused to listen to me. He went.”

“Did anything bad happen?”

“No, not really.” she said, shaking her head. “On the contrary, the operation was a success. He returned home the next day with so much money. Life became everything I expected it to be when I first got married to him.”

“But you weren't comfortable with it, or were you?”

“I wasn't.” she sniffled, wiping her face with the back of her hand. “But then again, it was everything I ever wanted. I asked him how he got the money, but he didn't say a word.”

“So, what did you do?”

“I kept on asking.” she shrugged her shoulder. “Eventually, he opened up to me. But he didn't tell me the whole truth. He only said that it was from a job. But that was the problem. What job?”

“Didn't he say anything about it?” I asked, raising a brow. “Besides, was he acting suspicious?”

“He didn't say anything about it after that.” she said. “But he began to act strange. I figured there was something wrong. I didn't want to, but I no choice. I checked his cell, and discovered that he'd been in talks with some people who were doing drugs.”

“Pardon?” the word jolted out of my lips on its own accord.

“Yes, you heard me.” she said, trying to quell the sob rising in her throat. “It broke me, and I confronted him, but he kept denying it. Unfortunately, the cops came that night. But guess who led them straight to our house.”

“Don't tell me…” I paused as I got a hint of what she was trying to say.

“Yes, this same friend of his brought the cops to our house.” she said, blinking back tears. “It turns out that he'd set my husband up. They found some drugs in his bag, and he was taken away.”

“I am so sorry.” I said, in a soft voice. “I didn't mean to reopen old wounds.”

“No, it's fine.” she said, drawing in a deep, calming breath. “I was going to tell you someday. I just didn't think that day would be today. But, I'm trying to put it all behind me.”

“Do you…” I paused, thinking it wasn't a good idea to ask.

Any more words, or questions would seem like drilling into the pain she was feeling at that time, and I didn't want that. She was struggling to hold back her tears, and not break down in front of me, which I didn't want either because there was a high chance that I would join her in crying too.

“Go on, I'm listening.” she said.

“Alright, do you think someone must have influenced Claude in some way like that man did to your husband?” I asked, narrowing my gaze at the words. “I mean, it doesn't make any sense. The change was just too sudden.”

“Honestly, I can't really say.” she said, shaking her head. “It could be that someone talked him into whatever he's become right now. Or it could be that he's been that way for a long time, but you failed to realize what kind of person he was.”

“I guess I failed to realize the kind of person he was.” I said, letting out a heavy sigh. “It was my fault.”

“You have blamed yourself enough.” she extended a hand across the table, taking my hand in hers. “You don't have to do that anymore.”

“I–I just can't help it.” I said, my voice breaking. “I don't know what else to do than to blame myself.”

“Abby?” she called, glancing at her wristwatch.

“Is there a problem?” I asked.

“There is somewhere I need to be now.” she said, letting go of my hand. “I almost forgot.”

“Alright, you can go.” I said, forcing a smile through my lips. “I will be fine.”

“I know you will.” she said. “But I want you to come with me. You've been in here for the past two days, I need you to come out.”

“I don't think I want to do so now.” I said, shaking my head. “I would rather stay in here.”

In as much as I would have loved to go with her, I didn't think I was ready to face the shame it would bring. If anything, I don't need anyone to tell me how fast news spread in this part of the country, especially one like my divorce with Claude.

My wedding broke the internet; it was carried by several news stations, I'm sure my divorce wouldn't be any different. Not to mention the explosion that killed many.

Bringing all that back to mind, I don't think I'm ready to go out and face the world. What would people say when they see me? How would they look at me?

“You do need some time alone.” she said, looking into my eyes. “But staying in here won't help you. You need to go out, and talk. Meet with people. That way, you can save the part of yourself that's drowning.”

“You think so?”

She righted herself from the chair, and walked to me.

“You have the chance to put the past behind you for good.” she put her hands on my shoulders while standing behind me. “Are you really going to allow it to slip through your fingers?”

I fell silent.

“That is what I thought too.” she said. “Go get dressed, we leave in ten.”