Chapter 4

I stood beside the bed as my fingers went cold. They had a group chat without me.

I opened the chat history and scrolled all the way back. The first messages were from three months ago. Vera had posted a screenshot of the "couple challenge" game.

"Tara keeps saying she fits in with us, right? Let's see how many rounds she can take."

Calvin replied almost immediately, "Make all her cards blank."

Finn chimed in, "Make Joshua's and Vera's cards match. Start with holding hands, then hugging, then kissing. That should be fun."

I kept scrolling.

Joshua hadn't said anything at first. It was a long time before he finally replied, "Don't take it too far."

For one ridiculous second, I thought he had actually tried to stop them. Then I saw his next message.

"Tara takes things too seriously. We still need her to handle the wedding, so don't push her so far that she actually leaves."

Finn sent a laughing emoji. "Relax. She'd never leave you."

Joshua replied, "True."

That one word landed like a slap.

Joshua had known all along. He knew my box was full of blank cards, knew everyone was waiting for me to make a fool of myself, and knew I'd keep putting up with it no matter how many times it happened.

The only thing he cared about was making sure they didn't take it so far that I stopped planning the wedding for him.

I kept scrolling and found their messages about this trip. I'd sent them the itinerary I'd put together. No one replied.

In their private chat, though, they had plenty to say.

"Tara's diving plan is so boring."

"Vera's scared of the water. Let's do a yacht party instead."

Joshua replied, "Don't tell her. We'll change it when we get there. She won't say no."

They had even decided the room arrangements ahead of time.

"Give Joshua and Vera the family suite."

"What about Tara?"

"She can take the couch."

"What if she says no?"

Joshua replied, "I'll talk to her. She'll agree."

Standing in Vera's room, I suddenly struggled to breathe. For years, I'd assumed I just took longer to warm up to people and hadn't quite found my place in their group.

So I kept trying harder. I remembered what they liked, let their jokes slide, and took care of all the hassles no one else wanted to deal with.

Now I finally understood. It was never about me not fitting in. They'd been on the inside together all along, watching me try to get through the door and laughing when I couldn't.

Just then, a new message popped up in the chat.

Calvin asked, "Where's Tara?"

Finn replied, "Probably crying in her room. Should we keep going?"

A voice message from Vera came through almost immediately. "Maybe we should stop. Tara actually seems pretty upset this time."

Then Joshua sent one. "Let her cool off on her own. Do we all seriously have to go running after her every time she gets upset? It's exhausting."

As I listened to his voice, whatever feelings I still had for him vanished. I was about to turn off the tablet when another video popped up in the group chat.

Finn had filmed it in secret. Joshua and Vera were alone on the terrace.

Vera was drunk, leaning against his shoulder. "Joshua, if I hadn't turned you down back then, would you still be with Tara?"

My finger went still on the screen. The wind was loud in the background.

Joshua said nothing for a long time before finally answering quietly, "No."

Vera smiled, even as tears rolled down her cheeks. "Do you regret it now?"

Joshua didn't answer. Instead, he reached up and gently wiped away her tears. He didn't need to say anything else.

The video cut off there.

The chat went quiet for a few seconds before Finn sent a message. "Told you. You two are the ones who should be together."

Calvin immediately joined in. "Tara was the one who came along later. She's been in Vera's place all these years. Maybe it's time she gave it back."

My ears rang.

After seven years with Joshua, with our wedding just around the corner, they still saw me as the one who had come between him and Vera.

I turned off the tablet and put the charger back where it had been. I didn't confront anyone. I didn't go out to the terrace.

There was nothing left to ask.

I went back to my room and changed my flight to the last one out that night. I had two hours. That was plenty of time to leave.

If there had never been room for me on a trip for six, I was done making room for any of them in my life.