All Chapters of I Was Never One of Them: Chapter 1 - Chapter 10

10 Chapters

Chapter 1

Vera Lambert leaned against Joshua Renfrow's chest and smiled at me. "It's just a game. You're not seriously jealous, are you?"Joshua ruffled her hair. "Don't mind her. She's always been a sore loser."On the last night of the trip, they drew matching wedding dress cards. That meant they had to stage a mock wedding.Vera put on the wedding veil I had brought with me. Then Joshua took my engagement ring off my finger and slipped it onto hers.Everyone crowded around them, chanting, "Kiss!"Joshua leaned down and kissed her.While everyone else was cheering, I opened the box my cards had come from. Every single card inside was blank. Joshua's and Vera's boxes were filled with matching moons, roses, and wedding dresses.So I hadn't been unlucky after all. The game had been rigged from the start. It had always been about the two of them.I smiled and deleted all the wedding invitations I'd prepared. If I could be the odd one out on a trip meant for six, then none of them needed a

Chapter 2

I hadn't grown up with them. The five of them had been friends since kindergarten. I didn't meet Joshua until college, and he was the one who introduced me to the group.For the first few years, I tried hard to fit in. They would laugh about stealing fruit from a teacher's yard when they were kids. Even when I had no clue what they were talking about, I laughed along.They had childhood nicknames for each other that only they understood, so I quietly saved them in my notes. I remembered everyone's birthdays, what they liked to eat, what they avoided, and all their little quirks.When we went out, I was always the first one there. When we traveled, I handled the transportation, booked the hotels, and planned everything.But no matter how hard I tried, whenever they started talking about the old days, I was on the outside again."You didn't know us back then. You wouldn't get it."Eventually, that turned into, "We don't need to tell her."They'd change restaurants at the last minu

Chapter 3

Vera got seasick at lunch, and Joshua never left her side.My stomach hurt too much to eat, so I asked the server for a bowl of plain oatmeal instead.Calvin laughed. "What, you're sick now too? Vera gets seasick, and suddenly you have to copy her?"The others laughed with him.Joshua glanced at me. "You've never gotten sick on a yacht before.""I didn't eat breakfast. My stomach hurts."He turned back to Vera and handed her a glass of water. "Then just deal with it for now. She already feels awful. Don't make things harder."A little later, the server brought over the oatmeal.I reached for it, but Joshua slid the bowl over to Vera. "Try to eat a little."My hand stopped halfway there, then slowly dropped back to my side. I'd ordered it for myself, but no one even seemed to notice what he'd done.After a couple of spoonfuls, Vera complained that it was too bland. "I don't want any more." She pushed the rest of the oatmeal toward me. "Tara, didn't you say your stomach hurt?

Chapter 4

I stood beside the bed as my fingers went cold. They had a group chat without me.I opened the chat history and scrolled all the way back. The first messages were from three months ago. Vera had posted a screenshot of the "couple challenge" game."Tara keeps saying she fits in with us, right? Let's see how many rounds she can take."Calvin replied almost immediately, "Make all her cards blank."Finn chimed in, "Make Joshua's and Vera's cards match. Start with holding hands, then hugging, then kissing. That should be fun."I kept scrolling.Joshua hadn't said anything at first. It was a long time before he finally replied, "Don't take it too far."For one ridiculous second, I thought he had actually tried to stop them. Then I saw his next message."Tara takes things too seriously. We still need her to handle the wedding, so don't push her so far that she actually leaves."Finn sent a laughing emoji. "Relax. She'd never leave you."Joshua replied, "True."That one word landed

Chapter 5

When I left the hotel with my suitcase, I could still hear laughter from the terrace. Joshua probably assumed I had slipped away to sulk and was waiting for him to come smooth things over, just like before.My phone buzzed. It was Joshua."Stop sulking and come back."A few minutes later, another message came through. "Vera's drunk. Where did you put the hangover pills you bought?"I stared at the two messages for a long time, then turned off my phone.I had already left, and he hadn't even asked where I'd gone. Instead, he wanted to know where I'd put Vera's hangover pills.By the time I reached the airport, there were 40 minutes until takeoff. I checked in and dropped off my last suitcase.For seven years, I'd imagined my wedding to Joshua more times than I could count, from the dress and the wording on the invitations to the color of the centerpieces.I had even worked out the seating chart a year ahead of time, making room for his family, his friends, and Vera. I had given

Chapter 6

Joshua opened the door and found the pullout couch empty. My suitcase was gone too.He froze for a moment, then grabbed his car keys without thinking. But Vera wrapped her arms around him from behind."Joshua, where are you going? Tara just wants you to chase after her. If you go after her now, she'll start threatening to leave every time she gets upset."Joshua hesitated.Whenever I cried, Vera said I was just trying to make him feel sorry for me. Whenever I got angry, she told Joshua not to give in. So after every argument, he waited for me to back down first.And now, he chose to do the same.He stood in the doorway for a long moment before finally setting the keys down. "You're right. Let her cool off for the night. She'll come back on her own tomorrow."The next morning, I still hadn't come back.Joshua noticed the wedding invitations had been deleted and finally called the wedding planner. "Send them to Tara again."The planner was quiet for a moment. "Mr. Renfrow, Ms. K

Chapter 7

After his flight landed, Joshua didn't go home. He went straight to my apartment, but the door code no longer worked.He knocked for a long time before the landlord finally came up from downstairs. "Looking for Ms. Keller? She moved out yesterday."Joshua's expression tightened. "Do you know where she went?"The landlord handed him a cardboard box. "No. She said to give you this if you came by."Joshua took it immediately. It barely weighed anything.The box held everything he had given me over the years. There was a discontinued watch, a few books, an old sweater, and the camera he had bought me during our second year of dating.When he gave me the camera, he said, "You're good at taking pictures. From now on, you can take all the photos for the five of us."At the time, I didn't catch what was wrong with that. There were six of us, but he had said five.Later, I asked him, "What about me?"He paused, then laughed and ruffled my hair. "You're the photographer. Of course you'r

Chapter 8

For the next week, Joshua checked every place he could think of. No one knew where I was.At first, his messages ordered me to come back. Then he started trying to explain."Tara, come back. I can apologize for the game. We can reschedule the wedding. That ring is not for Vera. Just come back. From now on, you'll be included every time we get together."Joshua stared at that last sentence for a long time before realizing how ridiculous it sounded.I had been there all along. They were the ones who had never really let me in. Only after I left did he finally offer me a place as if it were some kind of favor.I never replied.On the eighth day, Vera came over."Joshua, weren't we supposed to end up together? You liked me for years before Tara ever came along."Joshua looked at her. "So what? She's gone now."Vera's voice trembled. "We can start over. The five of us can go back to the way things were."Back before I came along, the five of them had been inseparable. No one had t

Chapter 9

Three months later, Joshua finally tracked me down. I had moved to a small coastal town up north and joined a documentary crew profiling women artisans in remote communities.He drove through the night and found me near an old pier. I was wearing a windbreaker, my hair tousled by the ocean breeze as I photographed an elderly woman weaving a fishing net.Joshua stopped a short distance away and watched me for a long time. For the first time, he saw me with a camera in my hands and none of the five of them in front of it.I was smiling.I wasn't putting on a smile for anyone, and no one was telling me not to ruin the mood. I looked genuinely relaxed, happier than he had seen me in years.When the shoot wrapped, I turned around and saw him. The smile faded from my face."What are you doing here?" I asked.Joshua's throat tightened. He had rehearsed everything he wanted to say on the drive over, but now he couldn't get a word out.After a long silence, he finally said, "Come back w

Chapter 10

I had waited so long to hear those words. If Joshua had said those words sooner, I might have gone back.Maybe when they first started leaving me out, or when I first watched the five of them take a group photo without me. Maybe when I realized my birthday mattered less to him than Vera's tears.But now, I just said calmly, "I don't need you to change anymore. Who you love, who you choose, and who you stand with have nothing to do with me now."Joshua clenched the ring until it dug into his palm, just as it had once dug into mine."You really don't love me at all?"I was quiet for a moment. "I did."His eyes lit up.Then I added, "But those seven blank cards took a little more of it each time, until there was nothing left."Joshua didn't leave right away. He stayed in town for another two weeks.Every day, he came by while we were filming and helped carry equipment, brought water, and checked the vehicles. He did what I used to do, quietly taking care of all the things no one

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