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Chapter 5
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I Was Never One of Them Chapter 10
I had waited so long to hear those words. If Joshua had said those words sooner, I might have gone back.Maybe when they first started leaving me out, or when I first watched the five of them take a group photo without me. Maybe when I realized my birthday mattered less to him than Vera's tears.But now, I just said calmly, "I don't need you to change anymore. Who you love, who you choose, and who you stand with have nothing to do with me now."Joshua clenched the ring until it dug into his palm, just as it had once dug into mine."You really don't love me at all?"I was quiet for a moment. "I did."His eyes lit up.Then I added, "But those seven blank cards took a little more of it each time, until there was nothing left."Joshua didn't leave right away. He stayed in town for another two weeks.Every day, he came by while we were filming and helped carry equipment, brought water, and checked the vehicles. He did what I used to do, quietly taking care of all the things no one
I Was Never One of Them Chapter 9
Three months later, Joshua finally tracked me down. I had moved to a small coastal town up north and joined a documentary crew profiling women artisans in remote communities.He drove through the night and found me near an old pier. I was wearing a windbreaker, my hair tousled by the ocean breeze as I photographed an elderly woman weaving a fishing net.Joshua stopped a short distance away and watched me for a long time. For the first time, he saw me with a camera in my hands and none of the five of them in front of it.I was smiling.I wasn't putting on a smile for anyone, and no one was telling me not to ruin the mood. I looked genuinely relaxed, happier than he had seen me in years.When the shoot wrapped, I turned around and saw him. The smile faded from my face."What are you doing here?" I asked.Joshua's throat tightened. He had rehearsed everything he wanted to say on the drive over, but now he couldn't get a word out.After a long silence, he finally said, "Come back w
I Was Never One of Them Chapter 8
For the next week, Joshua checked every place he could think of. No one knew where I was.At first, his messages ordered me to come back. Then he started trying to explain."Tara, come back. I can apologize for the game. We can reschedule the wedding. That ring is not for Vera. Just come back. From now on, you'll be included every time we get together."Joshua stared at that last sentence for a long time before realizing how ridiculous it sounded.I had been there all along. They were the ones who had never really let me in. Only after I left did he finally offer me a place as if it were some kind of favor.I never replied.On the eighth day, Vera came over."Joshua, weren't we supposed to end up together? You liked me for years before Tara ever came along."Joshua looked at her. "So what? She's gone now."Vera's voice trembled. "We can start over. The five of us can go back to the way things were."Back before I came along, the five of them had been inseparable. No one had t
I Was Never One of Them Chapter 7
After his flight landed, Joshua didn't go home. He went straight to my apartment, but the door code no longer worked.He knocked for a long time before the landlord finally came up from downstairs. "Looking for Ms. Keller? She moved out yesterday."Joshua's expression tightened. "Do you know where she went?"The landlord handed him a cardboard box. "No. She said to give you this if you came by."Joshua took it immediately. It barely weighed anything.The box held everything he had given me over the years. There was a discontinued watch, a few books, an old sweater, and the camera he had bought me during our second year of dating.When he gave me the camera, he said, "You're good at taking pictures. From now on, you can take all the photos for the five of us."At the time, I didn't catch what was wrong with that. There were six of us, but he had said five.Later, I asked him, "What about me?"He paused, then laughed and ruffled my hair. "You're the photographer. Of course you'r
I Was Never One of Them Chapter 6
Joshua opened the door and found the pullout couch empty. My suitcase was gone too.He froze for a moment, then grabbed his car keys without thinking. But Vera wrapped her arms around him from behind."Joshua, where are you going? Tara just wants you to chase after her. If you go after her now, she'll start threatening to leave every time she gets upset."Joshua hesitated.Whenever I cried, Vera said I was just trying to make him feel sorry for me. Whenever I got angry, she told Joshua not to give in. So after every argument, he waited for me to back down first.And now, he chose to do the same.He stood in the doorway for a long moment before finally setting the keys down. "You're right. Let her cool off for the night. She'll come back on her own tomorrow."The next morning, I still hadn't come back.Joshua noticed the wedding invitations had been deleted and finally called the wedding planner. "Send them to Tara again."The planner was quiet for a moment. "Mr. Renfrow, Ms. K
I Was Never One of Them Chapter 5
When I left the hotel with my suitcase, I could still hear laughter from the terrace. Joshua probably assumed I had slipped away to sulk and was waiting for him to come smooth things over, just like before.My phone buzzed. It was Joshua."Stop sulking and come back."A few minutes later, another message came through. "Vera's drunk. Where did you put the hangover pills you bought?"I stared at the two messages for a long time, then turned off my phone.I had already left, and he hadn't even asked where I'd gone. Instead, he wanted to know where I'd put Vera's hangover pills.By the time I reached the airport, there were 40 minutes until takeoff. I checked in and dropped off my last suitcase.For seven years, I'd imagined my wedding to Joshua more times than I could count, from the dress and the wording on the invitations to the color of the centerpieces.I had even worked out the seating chart a year ahead of time, making room for his family, his friends, and Vera. I had given
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