Chapter 4

It was already half past eleven at night, yet I still could not fall asleep. Memories of who I used to be were haunting me again.

Even though I have stayed in this new world for more than a week, I still cannot stop myself from thinking about the people I love, my real family.

Where could they be now?

I shifted slightly on the bed so Melanie would not notice that I was awake. We were sleeping side by side because she was worried I might relapse into another hysterical episode.

I want to see my husband.

I want to see my whole family.

And my daughter... Astrid.

Because I miss them so much, I could not stop the tears from falling. My chest felt unbearably heavy. Why did this happen to me?

Did I sin against God that He is punishing me like this?

I WAS WOKEN up early because we were scheduled to visit my mother’s boyfriend’s mansion today.

"Jethro, aren’t you coming with us?" I asked him while he was busy wiping the table.

"Why would I come? I’m not your mom's child," he replied.

"But you’ve practically lived here for so long, haven’t you? Why don’t you just come with us?" I suggested.

"You really want to get me in trouble, don’t you? No thanks. It’s better that you meet your mom’s boyfriend yourself so you can see how kind and handsome he is," he answered teasingly.

"Enough chatting. Menchie, Jethro, come and eat," Mama called, so we headed to the dining area.

"Don’t we have school today?" I asked Mama politely.

"School? Menchie, you’re already twenty-three. Did you forget that you stopped studying because of how angry you were at me?" she replied.

Is that so?

I glanced at Jethro, who discreetly widened his eyes at me. "What are you doing, Menchie? We stopped together when we were in high school."

I slowly nodded. I had no idea. Jethro had not mentioned this yesterday.

After finishing our meal, Jethro and I cleaned and washed the dishes.

"Menchie," Jethro whispered.

"What is it?"

"It seems like your mom is still adjusting to you," he said quietly.

"Huh?"

"You never used to do household chores before."

I was taken aback. Really? I did not do any housework before?

"Well... just let it be," I replied while scrubbing a pot.

"Maybe that’s why your mother rarely scolds you now... because you’ve changed," he added.

We fell silent for a moment until a question formed in my mind.

"Jethro, why are you always here? Don’t you have a family to go home to?" I asked.

Although he continued rinsing the plates, I noticed a flicker of sadness in his eyes and on his lips. Did I say something wrong?

"You know, you shouldn’t have asked that. Now, I’ll have to tell you my story again," he said lightly.

"I want to know. We’re childhood friends, right?"

He smiled at me and paused his task to explain.

"Okay, here’s the thing... I’m always here because your mom hired me to help around the house. I was already coming here often for you anyway. I rent a small apartment nearby. I chose to live on my own because I didn’t want to add more stress here," he explained, while thinking about how hard his life is.

"Why? Where are your parents?" I asked.

"My parents? Tsk! They both remarried. They built their own happy families. And me? I work alone just to survive. That’s why I stopped studying," he said.

He smiled at me, but I knew it was not a happy smile. There was bitterness carved into it.

As a mother, it hurt me to imagine such a fate for a child.

What about Astrid without me?

Who is taking care of her?

If her life turns out like Jethro’s—if she grows up alone and neglected—it would break me.

"Menchie? Menchie, are you crying? Menchie."

I snapped back to reality when Jethro called my name.

"H-Huh?" I asked, startled.

"You’re crying. Why?" he asked.

I quickly wiped the tears that had streamed down my cheeks. I had not even realized I was crying.

"S-Sorry. I got carried away by my emotions," I said.

"It’s okay. That’s normal."

"I just thought... if I were a parent and something like that happened to my child, it would hurt me deeply," I explained.

"For you, maybe. But not for my parents," Jethro joked lightly. "And why are you even thinking about that? Are you a parent or something? Do you have a child? You’re so dramatic, Menchie."

I wanted to laugh at his joke, but thoughts of my real family overwhelmed me instead.

"W-What if I told you I do? That I really had a child?" I asked.

He burst out laughing. "J-Jethro, I’m serious."

"Menchie, you’ve never even had a boyfriend, and you’re talking about having a child? You’re losing it," he teased.

"I-I’m not losing it, Jethro. I’m telling the truth," I insisted.

"Alright then. How can you say that?"

I swallowed nervously. I did not know if he would believe me, but what choice did I have? Maybe he could help me.

"I-I don’t recognize any of you because I don’t belong to this body. In my previous life, I had a husband and a child. I don’t even know what exactly happened before I ended up like this," I said seriously.

Instead of believing me, he laughed again.

"If your mom hears that nonsense, she’ll scold you again," he joked.

"But Jethro—"

"Menchie, you’re already an adult and you still believe in reincarnation? Come on. That’s just fantasy stuff."

I scratched my head in frustration.

Maybe telling Jethro the truth was a mistake after all.