FIVE

05: there are somethings, one can't recover from. 

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You can be a lot of things. And still be nothing at all-

Zach was, alot of things, 

-none of which was just normal. 

They both weren't. 

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disclaimer: intense/sensitive events. 

OURAY, COLORADO. 

From a young age, Zachary was troubled, according to his several primary teachers-

-because they saw in him, the traits they didn't see in another. Regina knew. Denver, his father knew also. 

He had once had a gun, under his father's name and threatened to use it on himself when he was younger. 

He struggled with a lot of things. Depression. Anxiety. 

And they knew. And he was to live by that. 

When they looked at him now, they only saw the trouble, the worst things he was capable of. 

'and he had to live with that'

"Zach, what the hell?" He immediately recognized Ty's voice as he contemplated to turn around. 

He knew that this was going to change everything but he wasn't sure how. So the gun just froze in his hands as he turned away from a wailing Tyler. 

"Zach. Put the fucking gun down-" 

"Get away from the fucking gun. Put it down!" He was quick to loose his cool. 

"Denver! Dad!" He called as the tears fell down my face, mentally battling these rising voices. "What?"

"Oh my God. Is that- Zach. What are you doing?" He heard Denver's voice and he sniffled, immediately turning around with the gun. 

"Zach, put it down-" 

"Zach? You know my name? You fucking know my name? And it's not Zach, stuff your face with pizza while we get the hell outta here" He turned to Denver as his quivering fingers squeezed softly against the trigger. 

"Or Zach, you need help. Telling my mother that i need help and therapy and all that shit" Zach broke into tears, wriggling the gun in a loose grip. "Zach!" 

Tyler yelled, stepping closer to him. 

"When were you going to tell me you were off to college? That you'll leave? When? Huh?" He sniffled, wiping his tears. 

"Leave? I'm not leaving you. I'm off to college. I'm not abandoning you. I'm not dying Zach. What the hell?" 

"Just don't step forward. Don't fucking step forward" Zach yelled before looking to the people that had stopped to watch, by the streets and from their house, pulling out their phones. 

Parents that held their children to them, whilst running from a potential threat-- 

"Zach. We would talk about this. Regina, your mother and I could talk" 

"But you can't do this. I know it feels hard. You feel uhm-" Denver was short of words, the truth was he couldn't understand what Zach was going through. "You feel uhm-" 

Tyler did. And like i said, he knew exactly what to say. 

"Zach. Your book-" Tyler's eyes suddenly widened by an idea. 

"Harry Jayson Moore. Moore, your book" He started as Zach turned to him. "You were right, i never understood it but then you left and i checked him out, on Google. At least I understand that-" He paused. 

"You did?" Zach asked. 

"Jayson Moore. The Rockstar stroke amazing gamer. Well the one that died a year ago, just to sure we're talking about the same person-" Tyler added and you could tell the unease drifted slowly from Zachary's void eyes. 

"He jumped off that building and he died because he thought he didn't have anyone. You wrote it in that book. You wrote about him"

"And then he died and millions of these people that he didn't know loved what he did, mourned him. Do you know how much he'll regret to not living to see. To experience. To have this people?" Tyler continued. 

"My point, Zachary, is- you can be the weirdest person to entire school but you're my brother. I don't see what they see-"

"Mother will always say, people see what they want to see. And I choose not to see what they see. So I promise that now more than ever, I'm not going to leave you. Never-" 

And when Tyler was done, Zach didn't realize the gradual steps he was taking till he was close enough-

-close enough to gently slip the gun out of his hands. They both took long lasting exhales as Zach fell into his brother's arms before withdrawing with teary eyes. "Go inside" He whispered as his eyes met his father's. 

But as soon as Zach reached a distance, there were the approaching sirens that blew towards them. 

Denver became alarmed as soon as the policemen stepped out of their vehicles and he made an attempt to reach his son. Tyler. 

They both did. 

Tyler held the gun up in shock, contemplating whether or not to run. 

"Tyler. Stay. Let them see the gun in your hands" Denver yelled as he fell to the ground. 

"Everybody get on the floor! Get on the floor!" He halted at the sound of the radio and the sight of the guns. 

"Lower your weapons and put your hands where i can see them" The speaker went off as Zach froze with his trembling hands, staring back at Tyler before he fell to the ground.

"Get down!" Tyler exclaimed as his heart thumped faster before he stepped forward in a moment of panic-

"Put down your weap-" 

And the next thing Zach heard were three gunshots, these gunshots that pierced through his brother, pushing his lifeless body to the ground in a heavy thud. 

As soon as Zach turned around, his whole world seized, time had seized and it was almost as if the ground was to open up and envelope him-

-at least that was what he prayed for. 

"Tyler!" He yelled, pushing himself from behind the car as his eyes narrowed at the officer that stopped him and back at Denver who had fallen to the ground. 

"Tyler-" 

"Tyler"

"Tyler. Wake up" Zach clasped his arm, shaking him vigorously to wake him up whilst his blood smeared unto his hands and clothes and he looked to his father. And then back at his closed eyes-

The wild sirens blew alarmingly before they were shut off, to the crowds that had their phones on to video the gruesome killing. 

The paramedics drew closer quickly to his body as Zachary fell back, with the thought that he might never forgive himself. 

"Its all your fault" Denver spat as Zach looked to his bloody hands in terror and then at his father, who angrily got to face the officer-- "You killed him!"

"You killed him!" He yelled as Zach recognized a voice that called unto him. 

"Zakky" Regina had stepped out of her car, still in her blue scrubs and jacket as she stared in terror at the wilding scene. 

"He had a gun. I swear it looked like he was goi-" The trembling officer that had pulled the trigger struggled to speak-

"He was what? Going to shoot? Did he ever occur to you to cross out these lesser things than to immediately p-" Denver's voice rose and fell as he cried. 

"-pull the trigger" The same voice cracked as his fingers tightened in a fist. 

"What it looked like was a black man holding a gun and he's dangerous. He's a monster" Denver burst. 

"Its not about th-" 

The other officers had held the shaking officer into the police vehicle, seizing his gun and turning to Denver, who looked at me with the most disappointment in his eyes. 

And anger. And hate. 

And me, at Tyler's lifeless body as they called it. His time of death. 

"there are somethings you can never recover from-"

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry" Zach was already on his knees as Denver walked past, before turning around. 

"You killed him and you're going to have to live with that-" He bitterly said as my mother's heels drew closer as she halted. 

"Zach. What is going o-" She paused as she witnessed Denver walk into the back of the ambulance and the bloody scene as they tried to cover Ty. 

And she was quick to fall to the ground, almost as if she immediately understood what had happened and she held Zach into her arms, close to her. Or he fell into her before he blacked out due to the pressure against his chest-

-and it was in that moment, they both realized that whatever happened next, all they had was each other. 

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NOW

"She said it's okay. That it was going to be fine" Zach said aloud, forgetting that when he spoke, she could not here. 

The voice. Her. 

So revealing to her these events, he had to open the portal to the darkest part of his mind that held his terrifying secrets. 

Something he never thought he would do. 

'you've been through a lot' her voice came in a whisper to him.

'why, now, do you want to eat?' she made it clear, she didn't still understand this unhealthy crave. 

'because it's easier. It's easier to forget. To drown all those feelings' 'for some people, it's drugs, heroine-' 

'or sexual addiction, or therapy. Or -we all have what will keep us going and...' 

'and?' she echoed. 'for me, it's food' 

'and now, you have to hold up the deal-' he reminded her, anxiously, as he pulled open the fridge door, the fridge that still had the sticker attached to it. 

The Eiffel tower.

And it was then some memories came back to him, he had opened the portal that night, after all-

"there are somethings you can never recover from-"

"i think we should leave" 

"to where?" she asked as Zachary's eyes narrowed at his mother. 

But he was quick to shake off the thought as he closed his eyes to her. 

'who, really are you?' he went into his mind, yet again and after a long pause, she replied-

'Irene-'

'Irene Fields'

To be continued...