Suffer

"Can you stand?" she asked Milene even if the answer was obvious. " I will. " Raïna was surprised she said so, but didn't object. She helped her stand up and guided her through the maze of corpses and crying wolves. None of the villagers looked at their Luna or came to ask about her state. They merely looked the other way and Raïna saw a hatred that burned deep down. Milene also wasn't crying as she was abandoning the pack, what was supposed to be the most terrible and atrocious event that could happen to a wolf. Wasn't this her home?

But as they made it into the glade and then into the forest, Milene looked behind and closed her eyes. When she opened them, she noticed Raïna staring a lifted the corners of her lips. "I'm well. Really. " Raïna wagged her head and walked ahead, wondering who she was trying to convince. 

The path was rough and Milene had difficulty walking and even seemed drowsy. Blood kept on flowing from her unattended wounds. 

"Who asked you to save me? " She suddenly broke the silence. "Madoxe. I'm sure you know who it is, even if I do not know that man. " 

Milene finally let out the tear she had held since they began walking. "Of course. " Her voice cracked and she brushed the trail of the tear on her cheek. " I should have known. " More tears. Raïna had been walking by her side and supporting her since it seemed she lied. She turned her head sideways, wishing to give her a summon of privacy.  When she deemed they were far away from the glade, she stopped walking and let go of Milene's arm. 

"Speak. Who are you? " Milene stumbled before stabilizing herself using the trunk of a nearby tree. " What exactly are you asking? "

Raïna's eyebrows furrowed. " That man asked me to save you, probably of the claws of Master. But you're losing too much blood to even dream of making it to a medical facility. I didn't give you first aid or even tried to stop the flow of blood. Do you know why? Because I don't help those I don't know. If I was to leave you here, you would die because of your wounds. If you want to live, speak. "

Milene let out a sigh and stood straight as much as she could. " I'm the Luna of the Blue Night pack. Before, I was a maid working for your family, but I found my late mate who was the Alpha. That is it. " 

A gush of wind passed and Raïna looked up in the sky to see Polaris shining. " You're lying." 

***

"Master-" 

"Stop, I don't want to hear it. " Akyl turned to look at her and stared into her. " Fall back to HQ. " She clenched her jaw and closed her eyes, trying to process the words. He had never been harsh with her, never. Always polite, always calm, and serene. But never mean. Yet he didn't take her defense in front of that captain. He allowed her to be publicly humiliated. The guards will greet her with derision, even though she is recognized as Master's sharpest spy. He was letting go of her. She could not have him going without her, she wouldn't be able to go on without him. 

"Are you abandoning me too?" She whispered in a small voice only Stephen managed to hear. " Registered, Master. " She added louder. 

And again, she disappeared.

"Is it necessary to hurt her in this way? " Stephen asked while sorting the document in the late Alpha's office. Akyl was looking at the library and running his hand in between the dust-filled tablets. The room was small, but somehow still spacious. The desk and the table lamp were made of pure wood. The window allowed the sunlight to pass through illuminating the room with red and orange flicks of color. The library was incorporated into the wall and was filled to the brim with multiple types of encyclopedias.

"Since when do you have feelings?" he mocked his right hand. " But it is true that she will have to suffer for the next few weeks. I don't intend on calling for her anytime soon."

"It is possible that if you don't, she cuts herself again. " Stephen misplaced a document and Akyl took it from him and put it in the good pile. "This one was from the government, not a fellow pack. " Stephen apologized for that and continued sorting, while Akyl came back to the library. He moved to the third row. 

"I intend on hurting her. Not the way you think though," he responded. "I cannot have her depend on me as her reason to live. I cannot have her falling in love either with a new man, it would ruin her. At the same time, I cannot have her think we abandoned her and that she's alone. " He moved to the fourth row. 

" But, I don't have the time now to help her heal. And we both know she needs this help. "

Yes, he knew. Stephen knew better than anybody, he was the one who stopped her from committing suicide last time. She believed she had fallen in love with the first man that gave her affection and dedicated herself to him. Then her heart got broken. She prattled on to him about her pain and hatred and the next thing he heard was her calling him to tell him she cannot do it. She had killed him and tried to end her life. 

Remembering it this way feels too unrealistic. Nobody could ever understand how she cried and how her voice shattered and broke over and over as she explained to him everything that happened. Resuming those 4 years of despair in simple sentences felt forbidden. 

" We can care for her after we finish our business here." Stephen established. 

"You still have no heart." 

"I'll take it as a compliment. " Stephen smiled. Then his eyes darkened and the sunlight stopped coming through the window. " Why did you let her take the Luna?" 

Akyl had found the book he had been searching for and had taken a position on the desk chair. He flipped through a couple of pages before he answered :

"She was taut and seemed to brood. " 

"I hope you understand that what you just said doesn't explain anything. " 

Akyl looked to see Stephen staring back. "That's what my wolf told me. He said that if I gave her the Luna, she would suffer in the near future. " 

Stephen still didn't understand. He quelled his curiosity and finished sorting. "Oh, by the way, how are your hands, Master?"

Akyl stared at his hands and pushed down his wolf. "If Antic tries to surge back up and I'm unable to control the transformation this time, kill me on spot." He stared at Stephen and pronounced every word slowly. "Kill me on spot, or kill her if you can't reach me. Don't hesitate. Not even a second."