Iniquitous Want

MARWA XAVIER NIXON.

The screeching of the fleeing cars in the distance snaps my attention to the injured man that has his head on my lap.

Everlasting and agonizing tears pouring out of my eyes mixing with his blood.

His shot wound oozing with the thick red coppery substance from his chest making it harder for him to breathe without coughing out, my heart aching at his suffering.

His identical twin emotionlessly looking at his brother's half dead body those dark eyes not meeting mine.

And the endless pain in my chest uncovered as I rocked his head in my lap trying to wake him up not believing what has happened just now.

This can't be real I chanted over and over.

And for the first time in my life, I prayed for whatever gods out there to save him from death's inert grasp.

Kissing his forehead, I brushed off his luscious dark brown curls from his eyes.

Navy blue eyes analogous to his brother's stared back at my brown ones with love and acceptance.

I shuddered with fear.

He can't accept this, He just can't.

He shouldn't accept leaving us.

Eyes slowly swiveling to meet his brother's with a weak nod communicating with their eyes. The misery, heartache and agony for the close separation of his brother, clear.

I cried harder in anguish and desperation, clutching his bloody shirt in my hands refusing to let him go.

He can't go. I don't want him to.

My silent sobs racked through my body like endless waves of grief and pain as I shook my head at him unable to speak with a pleading in my soft tearful brown orbs begging to him stay.

And not to leave me.

And he gave me a small smile whispering that nickname that made my heart beat faster whenever it came out of his mouth, the nickname that I've gotten so used to hear from him.

"See you on the other side, little minx, I- I love you," he croaked out coughing out blood, eyes speaking endless words that I was dying to hear come out of his mouth.

One last time.

And with that his eyes fluttered close and my heart shattered into thousands of shreds piercing my insides, a part of my soul leaving me when his left his body.

then I realized that I didn't get the chance to tell him how I feel about him-- about them.

I wanted to tell him how much I adored him and his twin, how much I'd rather die a million times than live a life without one of them, how I'd do anything for him to stay.

Unable to hide my feelings anymore "I l-love you too," I whispered my voice thick with emotions I never thought I'd feel.

Sealing my eternal promise that they'll feel my hell fire and wrath for every drop of blood he bled, for every wince of pain, for every groan and every uneven breath he took painfully,

They'll feel a thousand more.

I'll make them wish they were dead.

That's a promise.