Chapter 3: A Flashback to the Past

PAIGE

"Why doesn't he answer my calls?" I asked in frustration. And then I glanced at Harriet. Well, she's my best friend and the only one who knows all the crazy things I do about Jeru.

“Baka naman kasi busy, alam mo naman ‘yang pantasya mo. In demand ang kaguwapuhan,” she said before sipping her coffee. We're actually here at the coffee shop in Jeru's hotel. I was trying to see if I could find him here. I also tried asking the receptionist, but they didn't answer me and refused to believe that I personally knew Jeru.

“Pantasya? No, hindi lang pantasya ang nararamdaman ko ‘no! I'm certain that Jeru has feelings for me too. I've known it since I was only 13 years old!”

Then what happened 13 years ago suddenly flashes back into my mind…

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MARCH 2013

“KUYA LOGAN, where are you going?” I asked him with a smile, he was with Kuya Trace, but I knew he wouldn't give me a proper answer if I asked him directly.

“May meeting lang kaming pupuntahan? You wanna come with us?” nakangiti ring tanong niya at magkakasunod na tango ang ibinigay ko sa kaniya.

“What? Bakit kailangan mo pang isama si Paige?” Kuya Trace asked furiously. Yes, para kasi laging galit sa mundo ‘yang si Kuya.

“Okay lang ‘yan. Bored na ‘yan dito for sure,” pilit naman ni Kuya Logan kaya napangiti ako ulit.

“Thank you, Kuya Logan, wait! Magbibihis lang ako” mabilis na paalam ko.

Well, kahit naman gano’n ang attitude ni Kuya Trace, hindi ko siya kayang ipagpalit sa iba. He’s still my Kuya at kahit lagi siyang galit, isang lambing ko lang sa kaniya hindi naman niya ako kayang tiisin. Alam ko naman na he was just protecting me.

Pagtapos kong magbihis, I stood in front of the mirror. I couldn't help but admire the stunning ensemble I had put together. I chose to wear a casual pink dress and paired it with white sneaker shoes. So, I can move comfortably yet with elegance.

“PAIGE!” narinig kong tawag na sa akin ni Kuya Trace. “Kapag hindi mo pa binilisan iiwan ka na namin!” banta naman niya kaya lumabas na rin ako ng kuwarto. Knowing him, hindi siya nagbibiro kapag sinabi niya ay gagawin talaga niya.

“I’m here,” nakangiting salubong ko naman sa kanila.

“Let’s go then,” aya ni Kuya Logan kaya sumunod na rin ako sa kaniya. Si Kuya Trace naman ay wala nang nagawa kaya sumunod na rin sa amin.

I actually don’t know kung saan kami pupunta. Basta huminto na lang ang sinasakyan namin sa tapat ng isang building at pumasok kami roon. I was busy roaming my eyes when Kuya entered a room.

“Late again,” napangiti ako dahil alam kong si Kuya Lev ‘yon.

“Kami,” sabi ni Kuya Trace. “Logan’s with me. Huwag mo naman kalimutan, Tanda. Puro ako na lang, eh!” reklamo pa ni Kuya.

“Kuya Lev!” When he saw me agad siyang napangiti so I hugged him. He was like a Kuya to me too.

“Mabuti naman at sinama ka ng Kuya mo.”

“Well, not Kuya Trace, but Kuya Logan’s,” pagtatama ko naman sa assumptions niya.

“So, how’s your school and your life?” tanong niya sa akin kaya napasimangot ako.

“Well, not really good. Especially kapag laging nag-aaway si Papa at si Kuya. It was like the end of the world! But day by day, I’m getting used to it.”

“Well, you should be used to it. Dahil hinding-hindi na magbabago ‘yang Kuya mo.” Natawa naman ako sa sinabi ni Kuya Lev. Pagtapos ay tumingin siya kay Kuya Trace at biglang napailing. I don’t know why, then bumaling siya ulit sa akin. “Paige, sa extension room ka muna,” he instructed me kaya napatango na lang ako. Inihatid pa niya ako pero bumalik din naman siya agad.

I was left alone, inilibot ko na lang ang tingin ko sa paligid. All things seem well when I suddenly heard Kuya Trace cursing, and shouting. Kasunod ay ang pagsigaw din ni Kuya Lev. Mukhang may hindi sila pagkakaintindihan. I heard another man shouting but I couldn’t recall what his name.

Then suddenly, the extension’s room door opened at si Kuya Logan ang iniluwa noon.

“Let’s go, Paige!” aya niya sa akin at nagmamadaling tumalikod. Kaya wala na rin akong nagawa kung hindi ang sumunod sa kaniya.

Palabas na ko ng room ng may biglang humawak sa braso ko kaya napalingon ako. Paglingon ko, I suddenly caught a whiff of a powerful masculine fragrance that made my heart race. It was an intoxicating scent that engulfed my senses. Before I saw his face, he knelt before me and tied my shoelace.

"Next time, make sure your shoelaces are securely tied para siguradong hindi ka madadapa kung hahabol ka sa mga kuya mo," he remarked then look up to me and smiled, so I couldn't help but nod to him.

Oh my! Ang guwapo. My world seems stopped at the moment. At parang na-stuck ako sa moment namin na iyon. He remained kneeling in front of me, and I just stared into his eyes.

“PAIGE!” tawag ulit ni Kuya Logan kaya napatingin ako sa kaniya. Panira naman ng moment!

“You can go now, they are waiting,” sabi niya pagtapos ay tumayo. Sobrang tangkad niya at parang ang sarap niyang yakapin.

“Paige?” tawag na rin ni Kuya Lev sa akin.

“Y-yes, Kuya,” sabi ko na lang saka ako sumunod palabas kay Kuya Logan at Kuya Trace. But that’s against my will. “Wait, Kuya!” pigil ko sa kanila nang makalapit ako. “Can we stay here for a while?” I haven’t even asked his name. I also wanted to say that but I prefer not to.

“No, aalis na tayo! May pupuntahan pa ‘ko!” sigaw naman ni Kuya Trace kaya napasimangot na ko.

Labag man sa loob ko ay napilitan na rin akong sumakay ulit ng sasakyan.

“Kuya Logan, can I ask a question?” I interrupted them.

“Yes?”

“Sino ‘yong guy na nag-tie ng shoe lace ko? What’s his name?” Sorry, hindi talaga ako makakatulog hangga’t hindi ko nalalaman ang pangalan niya.

“That was Jeru. Jerusalem McBride if I’m not mistaken,” sagot naman ni Kuya Logan at napangiti naman ako nang marinig ko ang pangalan niya.

Jerusalem McBride, I can surely remember that name. Well, I am pretty sure na makikita pa naman ulit kita.

---

“I think, wala rito si Jeru kaya hindi siya sumasagot sa mga call ko,” napasimangot ako habang nakatingin pa rin sa phone ko. I’m still hoping that any minute he could call me back when he saw my missed calls. Yes, missed calls, 30th times ko na yata siyang tinatawagan but still no answer.

“You know what, ikaw lang naman kasi ang nag-iisip na nandito si Jeru, bakit kaya hindi mo na lang subukan na maghanap muna ng iba? Malay mo naman ma-divert sa iba ‘yang nararamdaman mo,” she suggested kaya napaisip naman ako.

“Well, there is someone who keeps on calling me,” sabi ko, then I scroll my phone. “His name was Ethan.”

“Then, push, friend! You should give it a try!”

“Kaso hindi kaya siya samain nito kay Kuya Trace?” nag-aalalang tanong ko. Well knowing him, siguradong hindi niya sasantuhin ang lalaking ‘to. Hindi lang kasi niya sineseryoso ‘yong nararamdaman ko for Jeru kaya hinahayaan lang niya ako. But if I make any move right now, sigurado na hindi niya ‘yon palalagpasin.

He was not going to hurt me, but this guy, well, I am not sure.

“Eh di ipaghanda mo na lang siya ng paglilibingan niya,” biro naman ni Harriet, and I couldn’t help but smile. “Ang mahalaga kasi malaman mo na kung ano talaga nararamdaman mo kay Jeru.”

“Well, I can try,” then I started to type a message for Ethan.

I’m not yet sure bakit ko ‘to gagawin, but I also want to find out my true feelings. If I can forget what I feel for Jeru by the presence of this guy, why not. Medyo nakakapagod na rin naman magpapansin kay Jeru for almost 7 years.

“Kapag hindi talaga naapektuhan ‘yang Jeru na ‘yan mag-move on ka na, friend!” sabi naman niya kaya parang bigla akong nasaktan. So, kailangan maapektuhan si Jeru para masigurado ko lang na may feelings siya for me.