Chapter 6

Amari

Vann

"What makes you think that this is yours?"

"You are indeed pregnant"

"You are not the father"

"Stop lying to me, Amari!"

Natakot ako sa pagtaas ng boses nya pero ayokong magpatalo, alam ko ang papasukin ko kapag sinabi ko sa kanyang anak nya ito. I will ruin a relationship at mas lalo lang akong hahamakin ng lahat.

"I slept with several man after you kaya posible ang sinasabi ko, can't you just accept that, Congressman Art?"

"Amari" he called me in a calmer tone now. "Uulitin ko, ayoko sa lahat ng taong niloloko at pinapaikot ako"

"Does it matter kung sino ang tatay ng dinadala ko?"

"Of course! Dahil kung anak ko ang dinadala mo, I have every right to know!"

"Anak mo man o hindi, it wouldn't change anything, alam mo ba ang gagawing gulo kapag nalaman ito? Kaya mo bang iwan ang girlfriend mo para sa batang to?"

"So, that is what you want, huh?"

"Hindi! I am just letting you know of the consequences if you continue to ask your question. Tahimik na ang buhay natin, wag na nating paguluhin pa Art"

"You are avoiding the questions. I will just ask one more time, at kung ano man ang sasabihin mo ay paniniwalaan ko na"

He sighed. He already looked tired. Nasisigurado kong nanggaling pa ito sa kongreso or kung saan and yet he came here. Hanna must've told him.

"Are you carrying my child, Amari? Anak ko ba ang ipinagdadalang tao mo?"

Hinarap ko sya at diretsong tinitigan. I already made up my mind and him knowing, wouldn't change anything.

"You got me pregnant, Congressman Dela Cuesta"

He brushed his hand through his hair as if that is the way he is absorbing the truth.

"Now that you know it, can I go now?"

"Amari"

"Don't pity me, hindi mo ginusto at hindi ko rin ginustong mangyari ito, yet it's here. Wala akong balak na guluhin ka, in fact, ikaw ang nanggugulo sakin"

"I'm sorry, I am trying to think and absorb everything right now"

"You don't need to"

"What do you mean?"

"Uuwi na ako, Congressman" mabilis kong hinubad ang coat nya at ibinigay sa kanya. "Just please let me go, gusto ko ng magpahinga"

Mabilis ko syang nilagpasan at laking pasasalamat ko na hindi nya na ako pinigilan pa.

Nagpaalam ako kay Manager Monique na maaga akong mag a out dahil hindi maganda ang pakiramdam ko, mabilis naman akong na approve.

I will be on leave for a couple of days. I was advised na after ng operasyon na pagdadaanan ko ay kinakailangan ko pa ring magpahinga.

Habang lulan ako ng taxi pauwi ay nakaramdam ako ng sobrang kalungkutan. Everything is so complicated. Complicated to the point na kinakailangan ko pang isakripisyo ang buhay ng anak ko. If only, I had this child on a different time at kung hindi siguro si Art ang ama, I would keep it. I will do my best for the both of us to survive.

Umidlip lamang ako saglit at nung mag umaga na ay nagising ako sa tawag ni Hanna.

"Vann, don't do this, please?" rinig kong sabi nya sa kabilang linya.

"Hann, I am so sorry, alam mo naman yung sitwasyon ko diba? I can't have the baby, kailangan ako ni Enzo at makakasira lamang ito sa pinsan mo"

"Pinsan ko?!" she shouted. "OMG! Is it Art Theodore's baby?!"

Napakunot ang noo ko sa sigaw nya. Didn't she know, eh sya itong nagsabi kay Art.

"Didn't you know? Hindi ba't ikaw ang nagsabi kay Art?"

"OMG! No! I didn't know, akala ko you just have a crush on him and yesterday he asked why I am in their hospital, natakot akong isumbong ako kay daddy, that's why I told him, you're pregnant" huminga ito saglit bago sumigaw. "OMG! I can't! The information"

"Hanna, kumalma ka" I told her. "Can you keep this? Wag mo ng ipagsabi lalo na dyan sa pamilya nyo"

"But Vann?"

"I know how you feel pero by the end of this day, I won't have the baby anymore so it will be just useless"

"Amari Vann, wag mo ng ituloy, please? Naaawa na agad ako sa pamangkin ko, ako na lang ang bubuhay sa inyo, please?"

"I already made up my mind, I am so sorry Hanna"

"Vann"

"Forgive me" I told her before I ended the line.

Forgive me too, baby. Ang selfish-selfish ni mommy sayo, hindi mo ako deserve, pabaya at iresponsable akong ina.

Tuluyan ng nagbagsakan ang mga luha ko. Ayoko naman talagang gawin to pero naiipit ako ng sitwasyon.

I will travel to a private clinic in Manila, I found the clinic thru thorough research. As you all know, illegal ang abortion sa bansa but some are willing to do it for a large amount of money and I found one.

I was advised to visit a real OB first bago ako pumunta doon, they want me to take an ultrasound muna before I go, sabi nung nakausap ko, they need to make sure na nasa early stage palang talaga ang dinadala ko.

I decided to pick an OB na nasa city lang din namin, nakapagpa schedule na ako sa kanya kahapon pa and she agreed to meet me early, dahil sabi ko may lakad ako which is true, once I have the ultrasound result, I will travel to Manila.

"Here's your baby miss" nakangiting sabi sakin nung doctora while pointing to the monitor.

Hindi ko alam pero kusang tumulo ang luha ko ng makita ko ang itsura nito sa ultrasound machine.

"My baby is so small"

"Yes, at this stage sya pinakamahina, kaya mommy, sayo lang umaasa si baby, kailangan mong ingatan ang sarili mo para ma ensure na healthy si baby at safe mo syang mailalabas dito sa mundo"

"But-" naiyak na talaga ako. I feel so guilty and selfish.

"Ayos lang yan, ganyan talaga kapag unang beses mong makita ang baby mo, ia angat ko itong t-shirt mo ha, I want you to hear something"

I nodded and the next thing she did is she put a gel on my tummy at may tinapat sya dito

and what I heard next,

changed my life forever.

I heard my baby's heartbeat.

The proof that he/she is alive and with me.

I cried harder, thinking of all the selfish thing I wanted to do sa baby ko.

My child is innocent.

In a snap, I changed my mind.

I will keep this baby. I will do my best to ensure na maayos syang lalaki. I will make sure to do a good job as a mom, kahit ako lang mag isa.

Mas magaan na ang pakiramdam ko ng makalabas ako sa clinic. I knew I made the right decision.

Maaga pa kaya halos wala pang tao sa kalsada, naglalakad na ako patungo doon sa OB clinic nung mag ring ang phone ko.

Mabilis kong inilabas ang phone ko to see an unregistered number.

Sino naman to? Ang aga naman mang scam.

I was about to decline the call pero naisip ko na baka si Ms. Monique iyon dahil madalas paiba iba iyon ng number at nag text ako dito kanina na hindi ko na kailangan pang mag leave.

"Hello po?" I politely answered, nag stop na din ako maglakad.

"Where are you?!" nagulat pa ako sa seryosong boses na bumungad sakin.

"Sino to?" inis kong tanong.

"Amari"

Halos mabitawan ko ang cellphone ko nung makilala ko ang boses nya dahil sa pagtawag nya sakin.

Congressman Art Theodore Dela Cuesta is on the other line.

"B-bakit ka tumawag?"

"Can you please tell me where you are right now? Just please!"

"Huh?"

The call ended me telling him where I am. In less than 10 mins ay napatingin ako sa paparating na sasakyan, una dahil sa kakaibang tunog nito, yung typical na tunog ng sports car.

I stood up to see it clearly dahil namamangha ako sa mga magagandang kotse, paborito kasi ng kapatid kong si Enzo ang mga kotse kaya kahit nitong comatose sya ay kapag nasa ospital ako ay tungkol sa mga kotse ang ipinapalabas ko sa TV.

In one look ay namangha agad ako sa sasakyan. It is a Bugatti Chiron Pur Sport na puti. If Enzo would see this, matutuwa iyon ng husto, kaya mabilis kong kinuha ang phone ko para picturan iyon.

I was interrupted ng bumukas ang pinto nito at mula sa driver seat ay lumabas si Art.

Kotse nya to? Hindi naman ito yung gamit nya nung party, he was using a Blue Ford Ranger Raptor.

Naglalakad ito ng mabilis papalapit sakin kaya naman mabilis na kumalabog ang puso ko.

"K-kotse mo?"

Hindi ko alam pero yun ang unang lumabas sa bibig ko dahil sa kaba. Malamang Amari! Kotse nya yan, mukha ba syang nang carnap?

Nagulat ako ng mabilis nya akong hawakan sa braso at galit na tingnan.

"What did you do with the baby?" ramdam ko ang pagpipigil nya ng galit.

"Nasasaktan ako Art"

"I will really hurt you if you won't tell me, Amari"

"Let me go!" inis kong sabi sa kanya, mabilis nya akong binitiwan pero napakasama ng tingin nya sakin.

"Did you do it?! Huh? You told me to let you go kagabi, I shouldn't have done that!" tumalikod ito sa inis.

"Art"

"That's my child! That's my baby! How can you decide on your own! Wala b akong karapatan sa sarili kong anak?! Why did you do it Amari! Why would you kill our baby?!"

I was speechless. He is mad because he thought ipinalaglag ko na ang baby namin.

Namin?!

Talaga ba, Amari?

Malakas nitong sinipa ang bato sa harapan nya.

"Art"

"What?!"

"I did nothing to the baby"

Mabilis itong humarap sakin at lumapit.

"I swear, if you are fcking lying right now, Amari"

"No, I couldn't. When I heard the baby's heartbeat. I fell in love right away, kaya nag decide ako na I will keep the baby"

Nakahinga ito ng maluwag at napangiti.

"Good choice, Amari" he held my face and when he did that parehas kaming nagulat, he immediately let go of me. "I'm sorry, I am just really glad you didn't do it. Hanna woke me up, sinabi nya yung plano mo"

"Hanna talaga" I sighed. "Nakapag decide na ako kaya hindi mo na kailangan pang abalahin ang sarili mo"

"It is still my child"

"Pero makakagulo lang kami"

"It doesn't have to be that way, I can still provide and support both of you, withouts anyone knowing"

Without anyone knowing

I knew it, he wouldn't trade anything for the life he have right now. Nakokonsensya lang din siguro sya kaya ipinipilit nyang maging involve sa buhay ng magiging anak nya.

If lumabas ang balitang ito, it will be a big scandal. A very scandalous one.

"What do you mean?"

"No one will know, I can talk to Hanna, magiging atin-atin lang ang lahat ng ito, ako na ang bahala sa inyo ng bata. I will fully support you both, you just need to get out of this city"

"What?"

"Mira shouldn't know about this, I can't afford to lose her"

I should know that, right?

But why do I feel this pain right now?

Mira is the love of his life and I'm just another scandal for him.