Chapter 5

Amari

Vann

"Enzo, you have to be tough for ate, okay? I will figure something out, just hang on, okay?" I told my brother as I brush his hair using my hands.

Bumisita na naman ako dito sa ospital dahil when I talk to my brother even if he is in deep sleep, I feel the comfort dahil alam kong nakikinig sya sakin, alam kong humahanap din sya ng paraan how to get back to me.

I have to help my brother, ako na lang ang meron sya at sa estado ng buhay na meron ako ngayon, I cannot bring another life here in the world as of the moment.

That's why,

That's why I decided for I believe one of the hardest decision in my life.

That is to abort my unborn my child.

I know it's wrong at walang kinalaman ang dinadala ko but I cannot afford to bring another person in this world, knowing that I cannot even take care of myself, my life is miserable. How am I supposed to make a good life for my child lalo na ngayon.

Just by thinking that I will do this, makes me sick about myself so much pero mas ihi hate ko ang sarili kong mapapahirapan ko ang anak ko.

I already spoke with Hanna about this, she strongly disagree with my decision dahil I know her, she loves kids, but I am decided and our conversation ended na she is asking me to think this over thoroughly.

Nakakapagtaka man ay ipinagpapasalamat ko na hindi ako ginugulo ni Sir Alex, sa tingin ko ay totoo ang balita na nasa bakasyon ito sa ibang bansa.

"Papasok na muna si ate ha, magpalakas ka" I told my brother before I gave him a kiss on the head.

Maaga akong nakarating sa trabaho kaya doon na ako nag retouch, I am wearing a tube navy blue uniform, I just curled my long hair. Inilagay ko na lang yung baon kong damit at yung bag ko sa locker dahil mag i start na ang shift ko.

"I lost!"

"Maswerte lang talaga ako ngayong gabi"

"Well, I am lucky kapag sya talaga ang dealer ko"

The old man winked at me and I just smiled politely.

"What's your plan after this miss?" tanong nung isa sa akin pero nagpatuloy ako sa pagbabalasa ng barasa, obviously ignoring their statements and questions.

"Hoy, ako ang dapat magtatanong nyan sa kanya"

"She will not go with losers like you"

"Miss, what's your name ha?"

Hindi ko pa rin sila pinansin pero hindi ko inalis ang ngiti sa labi ko dahil I cannot be rude sa kanila dahil clients sila.

I was about to start handing out the cards ng mapansin kong tumahimik sila kaya nag angat ako ng tingin, they are looking at my side kaya mabilis akong lumingon doon

There I saw Congressman Art standing straight, in his beautiful three-piece black suit, his eyes are fix to me, making me nervous.

I tried to smile, to seem professional.

"Congressman Art, so nice of you to join us tonight, are you here to play?"

He came much closer na halos iilang hakbang na lang ang layo sa akin.

"Have you eaten already?"

My jaw literally drop when he asked me that question. Why the hell is he asking kung kumain na ako? In front of all these clients!

I smiled and immediately look away from him.

"Gentleman, let's begin another round?" I asked bago itinaas ang cards.

"You should go home and take a rest"

Mabilis akong humarap ulit kay Art.

"Can't you see I'm working? I have clients-

Art diverted his look from me to the men on my table, who immediately stood up.

"Magdi dinner pala muna kami"

"Kuha lang akong alak"

"May meeting pa pala ako bukas"

In less than a minute, lahat ng clients ko ay nagtayuan na.

Pabalibag akong tumayo at naunang humakbang palabas ng main hall.

I knew that he will follow me kaya nung makakita ako ng lugar na kung saan hindi madalas na daanan ng mga tao ay huminto ako.

Mabilis ko syang hinarap.

"Hindi mo ba nakikita na naghahanap buhay ako doon?"

Instead of answering me, he just looked at me intently.

"What?!" inis kong tanong dito.

Instead of answering me ay nagulat ako ng hubarin nito ang coat nya, leaving him with his white polo.

Mas nagulat ako ng iabot nya sakin ito.

"Bakit mo binibigay yan sakin?"

"Wear it"

"What?"

"Just fucking wear it, Amari" he sighed. "It's cold"

Naiinis man at nako confused ay pabalibag kong hinatak ang coat nya sa kanya.

Mabilis ko rin itong isinuot sa sarili ko. I must admit, ang bango ng coat nya, nanunuyot ang manly perfume nya dito. It is addicting.

Usually because of my pregnancy, I refused to wear any perfume dahil mabilis akong masuka kaya nakakapanibago how comforting his scent is for me.

I looked at him, nakakapagtaka ang patuloy nyang pagbisita rito, given that he invited me for dinner just a week ago.

Ano bang nasa utak ng lalaking ito? Ang gulo-gulo nya!

I cleared my throat.

"Congressman Art" I called him. "Nag usap na tayo hindi ba?"

Kumunot ang noo nito.

"You're wearing high heels all night?"

I rolled my eyes dahil sa inis sa kanya.

"Jusko naman, Art! Natural, casino dealer ang trabaho ko! But that is not the point here, okay? Ang point ko dito is, hindi pwedeng basta ka na lang pupunta dito and will do that with my clients"

"I didn't do anything with your clients"

"Yeah right" napahawak ako sa ulo ko sa inis sa kanya. "I am not understanding the point why you and I have to still meet each other, we don't have anything to do with each other"

He looked at me straight in the eyes. His eyes are so serious na kaunti na lang iisipin ko sasakalin nya na ako.

"Naiisip mo ba kung anong sasabihin ng media when they hear this? The great Congressman Art Dela Cuesta seen with a Casino Dealer? O  top of that, may girlfriend ka! It will be a big scandal!"

"I don't give a damn about that"

"Well, I do! So, please okay? Stop going here, you and I we don't have any reason to meet each other-

"I'm actually just trying to be patient here, Amari"

"Huh?"

"And it looks, you don't have any plan to tell me about it"

"What?"

"So let me just ask you this question instead"

"A-ano?"

"Are you carrying my child, Amari?"