Love.. I’ve never imagined that I will be so in love with someone someday that I will want them only for myself. I feel so clingy and sad when I saw Matthew’s message saying that he will be gone for a week because he needs to do some gift-giving in some secluded area in a province. I pouted and took a selfie before clicking the sent button to our conversation.
Stefan who is bothering me again in my room laughed at what I did and shook his head in disappointment.
“ I’ve never pegged you to be this lovesick fool,” natatawa niyang turan bago kunin ang gitara sa tabi ng kama ko at nagsimulang tumugtog. I laughed because of his remarks and watch him struggle doing the guitar.
“ Wala ka lang girlfriend!” I teased him back earning a death glare from him.
“ Ikaw…”
“ Huh?” nagulat kong tugon dahil sa biglaang sagot niya and it feels like he didn’t know that he said it allowed kaya pinagtakpan niya ito ng isang malakas na halakhak. I’ve creased my brow because I can’t understand his answer but then I just shrugged it off and walk towards him.
Inagaw ko ang gitara at kinuha ang camera ko sa isang cabinet bago ko hinila si Stefan palabas sa bahay. He mentioned na nagtatampo siya dahil magmula daw ng makilala ko si Matthew ay I’ve been seeing a less of him kaya naman ngayon ay naisipan ko na magpupunta kami sa dagat.
I watched how his eyes grow wide when he saw my new car just in our garage. It is a black jeep wrangler na maagang regalo sa akin ni daddy..
“ Holy shit!”
I grinned at his reaction before opening the car and motioning him to drive. Apparently, I don’t have a license and courage yet to drive kaya siya muna ang gagawin kong driver. My schedule for driving lesson will be in next week but pero gusto kong pumunta ng dagat and we don’t have any available car as of the moment.
“ Ipapagamit mo sa’kin?!” I laughed at his reaction when I nodded dahil parang bata siyang tumakbo sa drivers seat at pagpipindutin ang mga button doon. I saw how he slide his hands in the leather sit as if he cannot imagine that he will be driving this today.
“ Saan tayo love?!” he excitingly asks starting the car. Inilabas ko ang cellphone ko at binuksan ang gps para may guide kami sa pupuntahan namin. I picked the nearest beach na 2hrs away lang mula dito sa lugar namin.
“ I don’t have a spare clothes!” he looked at me in disbelief when he saw where we are going. I just laughed at him and told him na doon nalang kami bibili ng damit para may mapagpalitan.
We both stared at my cellphone when it rings and it flashes Matthew’s phone number, tinignan ko muna si Stefan bago ito sagutin .
“ Hey,” he casually said in the other line but I can hear some voices behind him.
“ How are you?”
“ Good love, I’ll see you next week!” I replied then the line went off. Noong una ay nagtaka pa ako but then I remembered that he mentioned that he will be hard to contact with once he will go to the secluded area.
“ Tara! Tara!” hyper na sabi ko kay Stefan bago niya paandarin ang sasakyan. It took us almost three hours drive bago makarating sa pupuntahang beach dahil sa gulo ni Stefan sa pagdridrive, he keeps on talking and shouting na para bang akala mo ngayon lang siya nakahawak ng ganoong sasakyan when in fact he owns a Porsche.
“ Napakainit na tuloy!” reklamo ko sa kanya matapos naming dumating sa isang private villas at ayusin ang mga pinamili naming damit sa isang cabinet. Knowing Stefan, I am sure that we will spending a night here dahil nakita ko kanina kung paano niya tanungin ang isang empleyado ng resort kung mayroon ba silang night parties.
Tinignan ko ang cellphone ko at sinubukang tawagan si Matthew para magpaalam, I feel like I need to atleast let him know what I am doing ngunit tulad kanina ay hindi padin siya sumasagot sa tawag ko.
“ Kanina ka pa tumatawag sa biyahe,” Stefan said when he saw how I sighed and looked at my phone.
“ Magpapaalam sana ako kay Matthew,” I said at him but I feel stunned when I noticed an unfamiliar emotion that flash in his eyes.
“ Ako lang naman kasama mo ba’t magpapaalam ka pa?!” maktol niya bago pumasok sa isang banyo at magpalit ng damit pang-swimming. I shook my head in disbelief habang sinusundan siya ng tingin papasok. Is he jealous?! Or nagtatampo lang siya?
I waited until he is done before I walk towards him and check his face. He keeps dodging my hands at iniiwas ang titig niya but I am persistent to check if what he’s up to.
“ Are you jealous?!” I exclaimed because of his action.
“ The fuck?!” he cursed at me disbelief in my conclusion before getting his towel and walking outside. I tried to run after him to really check his eyes but he runs hanggang sa makarating kami sa gilid ng baybayin.
“ Wait up!” I shouted because he keeps running away from me. Parang bata kaming naghahabulan dito kahit sobrang taas ng sikat ng araw. I laughed when he starts to slow down his pace dahil siguro sobrang pagod niya hanggang sa mahuli ko ang isang kamay niya at iharap siya sa akin.
“ Nagseselos ka ba kay Matthew?!” I laughed at my question because I’ve never thought things about Stefan. I watched how he looked at me and how he breathe before answering my questions.
“ As long as you’re happy.” He said before tugging me closer for a tight hug. I don’t know what to feel because I felt like he didn’t really answer my question directly. I just let him hug me under the rays of the sun not until we heard someone clapped his hands and whistled behind us.
“ What a sight!” Matthew’s brother said before smirking at us as if we’ve done something to satisfy him.
“ Kuya,” nagulat kong tugon at mabilis na humiwalay sa yakap ni Stefan pero mabilis niyang hinawakan ang kamay ko at inilagay ako sa likudan niya na para bang prinoprotektahan niya ako mula sa Kuya ni Matthew.
Sumilip ako mula sa likod ni Stefan at ramdam ko ang bilis ng tibok ng puso ko dahil sa paraan ng pagtawa ng taong nasa harapan namin ngayon. He laughed and advanced his step before tapping Stefan’s shoulder.
“ Don’t worry, I won’t tell.” He said to Stefan before cracking his neck to look at my eyes. I feel how my hands trembles because of his sight.
“ Quits lang kayo ng kapatid ko.” He remarks before laughing and walking away.
“ Tell me that you didn’t get hurt,” malakas kong sabi sa kanya matapos kong buksan ang pintuan at makita siya sa kanyang mesa.Nothings changed. He was still in his messy dress shirt pero ngayon ko lang napansin ang maliit na sugat sa gilid ng labi niya. Immediately, I found myself grabbing his jaw to look at it.Marahan niyang hinawi ang kamay ko. “ Hindi mo na kailangang malaman.”“ Stefan naman,” sabi ko matapos mabatid na hanggang ngayon ay galit padin siya. The last time, he told me to avoid each other pero hindi ko pala kayang gawin iyon sa kanya.We’ve been friends ever since that I can remember, it is not easy to let go when every part of me remembers him. I just cannot leave him behind just because both of us cannot settle a feeling that should’ve never sufficed in the first place.Hinarap ko si Stefan sakin bago huminga ng malalim. “ I broke up with Rameses,” sumbong
" Grabe ka na talaga, Architect. Ganito ba kapag broken? Mas lalong gumaganda?"Napairap nalang ako sa pambobola ni Nathaniel matapos kong ilapag ang dala kong coffee para sa amin ngayong araw. It's morning and usually, we will have our meeting for the plans that is approved before mag-proceed sa pagpapatayo ng mga infrastracture. It's a usual meeting, assembly meeting actually matapos lahat ng nakakapagod na pangyayari sa buhay naming lahat.Luckily, no one leaves the company. Stefan is still the head of the firm, he is still avoiding me but I don't think it's because he's angry. It's to tame our wild heart, the one that is broken for too long. I just wished that it will be fixed immediately, because Stefan? I miss his banters and just being with him.He's my soulmate. Lagi lagi at magpakailanman.Rameses entered the room, he's not happy nor sad. Usual na talaga para sa kanya ang poker face habang bitbit ang mahiwagang leather bag
“ You’re breaking up with me?” kalmadong tanong ni Rameses matapos niyang tumingin sakin habang nakasandal sa salamin na pader ng kanyang condo. I simply nodded and look so small while sitting in his bed. Sinadya ko siyang puntahan dito, just to say that I want to break-up.Tinignan niya ako na para bang nagpapatawa ako. “Wala pa tayong one month,” he pointed out before stepping forward and sitting in front of me with both of his knees touching the floor.“ Why?” he asked in a serious voice, holding my face with both of his hands and making me looked at him. He looks confused and hurt at the same time.Sabi ko sa sarili ko, it’s wrong. Mali na magmahal hangga’t hindi pa naghihilom ang sugat sa puso ko. I chose to see this and needed to do this for the sake of our heart.“ You’re a good man, baby.” I smile as the words came out of my mouth. Rameses is indeed a good
Saksi ang mga kumikinang na mga butuin sa kalangitan kung paano ko nagustuhan at minahal si Matthew dahil sa mabuti niyang puso, ngunit ang makita siyang lango sa alak at gumagawa ng mga bayolenteng bagay ay talaga namang nakakapagpagababag sa aking isipan.“ Matthew!” Agad kaming napahinto sa paglalakad ni Matthew ng marinig namin ang hinihingal na tawag ni Sabrina. Right, the fiancé.She looks so messed up. “ Sa gilid lang ako, after your talk, I will bring you home,” she concluded before she looked at me with so much pain in her eyes. Hindi ko alam kung anong mararamdaman ko, she’s a homewrecker who ruined our relationship but why does it feels like she’s suffering too much?Ni hindi man lang siya tinapunan ng kahit anong tugon ni Matthew bagkus ay nagpatuloy lang ito sa paglalakad. Pagod na tumingin sakin si Sabrina ngunit ngumiti siya kalaunan at hinayaan akong umalis at sundan ang kanyang minamahal.After I
“ Wuhoo! Power shot!” Magkasabay naming nilagok ni Rameses ang hawak naming whiskey matapos naming magkita para ngayong gabi. The brute really did resign from work at hindi din ako pinapansin ni Stefan. The atmosphere is so gloomy to the point that I didn’t even know what is happening to our life right now. Kanina lang ay naabutan ko nanaman siya, with the girl that I caught the last time…I think they are doing some nasty things in the office. Hindi naman ganoon si Stefan, before, he can still be decent pero ngayon mukhang lantaran na. “ I’m jealous.” “ Huh?” agad kong tanong kay Rameses ng higitin niya ako pasandal sa kanyang matigas na dibdib. We are in the corner of this bar, leaning into the glass railings habang nakatingin sa mga sumasayaw sa ibaba. I insisted to be here dahil hindi ko na masikmura ang nakakasulasok na amoy ng alak at sigarilyo sa baba. Palibhasa’y mukhang disente ang pangalawang palapag kaya’t napapayag ako ni Ram
Sobrang lakas ng tawa ko ng mabilis akong kiniliti ni Rameses habang nakatingin sa harap ng salamin. Hindi muna kami umuwi at nagdesisyong huwag munang pumasok sa trabaho para masulit namin ang pagpunta dito sa Baguio.“ Sure ka ba na magreresign ka?” Nag-aalala kong tanong kay Rameses habang nag-eemail ito ng letter niya kay Stefan. Buong magdamag niya ata akong kinulit para dito pero hindi ko padin maisip kung bakit kailangan niyang gawin iyon. Technically, isa padin ako sa mga may-ari ng kumpanya kaya pwede akong hindi pumasok kahit kailan ko gusto. Nag-iwan naman ako ng mensahe kay Stefan pero alam kong hindi niya ako sasagutin dahil sa huling pag-uusap namin.Seryoso lang si Rameses na bumalik sa kanyang laptop. Noong una ko siyang nakita, hindi ko naisip na balak niyang mag-abogado. All I know is that he’s a medical student before until he decided to shift into the legal career. Mukha naman siyang masaya sa ginagawa niya pero minsan napapaisip a
“ Still cold, babe?”Pakiramdam ko ay sobrang pula na nang mukha ko dahil sa mga ginagawa ni Rameses. He found me bawling my eyes in the office after I heard what Stefan said. Umiling ako dito at tumingin nalang sa magandang tanawin ng night lights dito sa Baguio City. No matter how beautiful the view is, all I can think about is Stefan. Pagod akong napabuntong-hininga bago ko naramdaman na mas hinapit ako ni Rameses sa kanyang katawan.He’s hugging me from behind. And I don’t know where this feeling started pero sobrang komportable ko sa kanya. It feels like, I am home.Gamit ang isang libreng kamay ay marahan niyang hinaplos ang hibla ng aking mga buhok. “ I thought this would make you happy.”“ Hmmm… I’m happy, thank you, Rameses.” Pinilit kong pasayahin ang boses ko para hindi siya masaktan. Alam kong he’s doing all of his efforts pero magulo lang kasi ang buhay ko. Bumuntong-hininga s
“Delivery?!”Napairap ako ng makita ang nakangising mukha ni Engr. Corpuz. May hawak pa itong milktea sa kanyang kamay habang masayang inaabot ‘to sakin. On this gloomy office, siya lang mag-isa ang may ganang ngumiti ngayong araw. We are all busy doing our works, no one is coming outside of our office at ramdam ng mga empleyado iyon, lalo na dahil parehas na mainit ang ulo ni Stefan at Rameses.“ I told you, mali itong drinaft mo!”Huminga ako ng malalim at kinuha ang papel bago ito marahas na nilukot. That was Rameses, scolding his assistant. Pang-ilang sigaw na ba iyong narinig ko ngayong araw? Mukhang nagpapalitan lang sila ni Stefan. Hindi ko na mabilang sa daliri ko kung ilang empleyado na ang nakita kong umiiyak dahil sa mga ugali nila.“ Tsk….ganda mo kasi, Architect.” Mabilis na umilag si Engr. Corpuz matapos kong ibato sa kanya ang blueprint na hawak ko. Kanina pa ako n
The sound of my heels echoes along the empty hallway of our office. Mukhang napaaga ata ako dahil kahit isang tao ay wala akong nakikita. I looked at my wristwatch and notice na medyo napaaga nga ang oras ng dating ko. Stefan and I needed a brief meeting about some of the building plan na na-bid namin. But I guess he wasn’t here yet. Nangilabot ako ng makarinig ako ng malakas na boses na parang nahihirapan kasabay ng ilang kalampag ng mga bagay. Huminto muna ako sa paglalakad hanggang sa nagdesisyon ako na sundan ang pinagmumulan ng ingay. I was curious and frozen in my place when I noticed where it was coming from. Nakatayo ako sa harap ng opisina ni Stefan, nakasarado ang mga blinds ng kanyang bintana but the wooden door wasn’t locked.Pinihit ko iyon at nagulantang sa nakita. “ What the hell?!” I shouted when I saw Stefan, sitting in his office chair, nakapikit at sarap na sarap habang may babae sa paanan nito. Parehas kaming nagulat sa presensya ng