L'éveil du pouvoir

Jenny’s PoV

For days, I was feeling under the weather. I thought that I ate something bad or caught something that was making me sick. Never did I think that what I was thinking was actually far from reality. I went to the pharmacy myself to get some medicine to stop me from vomiting. I didn't want to tell Marcus about it because he already had enough on his plate with work. While paying for my stuff, a lady beside me was buying a pregnancy test. That is when the thought occurred to me.

With everything going on, I didn't dare to think that I could be pregnant. I didn't even notice that I was late for the month. On that thought, I decided to get some tests as well. I was nervous thinking about the possibility of being pregnant with Marcus’s child. He is my husband and I love him so much. Having his child is the best thing that could ever happen to me. I was just afraid to bring up to him because of the nature of our relationship.

Marcus and I had been arranged to get married ever since we were kids. When my parents died when I was young, his grandmother lovingly took me into her house. She adored and took care of me as if I was her granddaughter. She wanted us to be a real family. so she arranged for Marcus and I to get married when the time came. I didn't have a problem with it because I like Marcus and as the years went by, I fell in love with him completely. However Marcus was not enthusiastic to be arranged to marry me. I knew he only agreed because of his grandmother.

I believed that once we got married and lived together as a couple, things would change. Marcus would surely warm up to me and later open up his heart to me. We have been married for 3 years and I have been waiting for such a day to come. Even though he was yet to confess any feelings to me, he still performed his duties as a husband. That alone was more than enough for me.

I bought the pregnancy test a few days ago and I immediately took it. My suspicion was right. I was pregnant. I remember when I saw those two lines on that stick, my heart pounded wildly in my chest and tears streamed down my face. I was so happy. The news was still shocking because Marcus and I were not trying to have a baby but I guess those slip ups of having unprotected sex at times led to this. I must have forgotten to take the pill on time. It was an honest mistake but I don't feel bad about it. Now that this has happened, I'll just have to figure out a way to tell Marcus. The perfect timing will do.

I placed somewhere safe where Marcus wouldn't stumble upon them by himself. When I feel the time is right, I will tell him. All will be well. We are married after all and at some point, a child was bound to come to our lives. I checked the clock on the wall and it was about time to cook dinner. When Marcus and I got married and moved into this house, there was a maid assigned to help me with everything but I had to let her go. I grew up doing everything myself despite living with a rich family.

The thought of someone handling things for me was not good for me. I found doing things by myself to be more efficient and satisfying because I won't have to redo or complain about anything when someone else does it for me. It's just Marcus and I so I can handle things for the both of us. I know him too well. His likes and dislikes and how he likes things done more than anyone knows about him.

I got so immersed in cooking that I didn't notice the time. Only a few minutes left for Marcus to come in if he is not rubbing late. A smile spread on my face. Everything was ready and I prepared his favourite meal. A few minutes later, Marcus walked in and I jumped from my seat to welcome him.

“ You are back!” I exclaimed excitedly. More excited than usual. I should tone it down or else he will notice that something is up with me. I managed to compose myself as he handed me his coat.

“ Dinner is ready. Would you like to freshen up first or should I set the table?”

“ I'm going to freshen up first. You can go ahead and eat. I will join you in a while.

Without even looking at me, he walked away from me. It was a bit cold but I was used to this. He is not a bad guy. He just has his good and bad days. Judging from his behaviour, something must have happened at work and it's stressing him out. It doesn't matter. Once he has dinner, his mood will lighten up a little. My cooking is one of the things that he likes and enjoys.

I took a seat and scrolled through my phone while sipping juice. I almost made a mistake when I poured myself wine to drink. It's been a habit of mine to enjoy a glass or two of wine while I'm cooking. It's a bit difficult to remember that I am a pregnant woman while I am trying to hide it. No more wine for me. 15 minutes later, Marcus descended the stairs and joined me at the dining table. I served us food and I said a little prayer before we dug in.

Once we were done eating, he accompanied me to wash the dishes. Only the clinking of cups and plates resonated through the house with nothing but silence between us. I wanted to ask Marcus what was bothering him since he looked so distracted and lost in thought but I couldn't ask him. I don't know but for some reason, withholding the pregnancy news from him was making me really nervous. What if I accidentally blurted out the truth to him unprepared? I swallowed my words and continued to do my task.

Once we were done, Marcus startled me as he came from behind and wrapped his arms around me. He nuzzled his nose in my neck, giving me a light kiss. I melted in his arms loving how warm he was and his smell. He must be in the mood for sex. I was as well until I remembered again that I was pregnant. Is it okay for me to do this with him without telling him the truth first? I am confused. I just want to tell him but then again the fear of how he will react to the news is holding me back.

Having a child is a big thing and our lives will inevitably change. I understand that he might not be inclined to want a baby at the moment. He is currently handling big and major projects in the company and he might feel that a baby would be an extra responsibility but what to do? I'm already pregnant and I would never even think of getting an abortion. If he is not happy about the baby, it will put a strain on our relationship. Can we survive it? I don't want anything to change between Marcus and I.

I want him to wholeheartedly accept our relationship and finally express his love for me. I truly hope he does. Let the baby be the icing on the cake and bring the both of us even closer.