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From a comfortable position on the bed, Beth watched as Lucy added even more rouge to her cheeks and smiled at the mirror – she looked beautiful. Her ever unruly hair danced on the side of her face as she turned to look more upon her makeup. Gwen sauntered into the room, looking beautiful as well.“Beth, Aunt Marrily said to come to the door in ten minutes.” She approached the mirror. Lucy gave her a thin blue sash.Beth pushed herself down on the bed and closed the book she held, dog-earing where she was. “I told earlier that I want no part of this ball. How best should I say this?” She lifted herself to her elbows. “I do not want to attend the ball.”“Mother!” Lucy turned to the door. “Beth says she won’t attend the ball!”She jolted up. “Lucy!”“What is this I hear?” Aunt Marrily was immediately at the door, hand on her hip. “Why would she not…?” Her Aunt stepped into the room. “Why wouldn’t you want to go to the ball? This is the very reason I asked my sister to send you over.”“You asked Mother because Lucy is lonely.” Beth point blanked. “And because you feel Lord D’Averette might ask to court Lucy, and you want to make a strong impression, of how close-knitted our family is.”Her Aunt cleared her throat, looking guilty, while Gwen and Lucy giggled from behind. “You would never utter a word in public but rain on us any slight chance you get.” She waved aside. “That may be true; still I used the excuse of a ball to get your Father to agree. I see no reason why you wouldn’t want to make full use of my ill-thought excuse. You are too quiet around the peerage.” She sat herself down beside Beth. “The ball promises to be fun, besides eligible young gentlemen would be in attendance. Who knows we might finally be planning your wedding in a few months.”Her Aunt would be shocked, and perhaps, proud if she ever found out that she held up a conversation with a stranger on a lonely road. “That being the exact reason I'm refusing to attend. I don’t ever want to be wed.”“Nonsense!” Aunt Marrily shot up to her feet. “Everyone wants a husband, or a wife in the case of a man.”“But I don’t.” She didn’t want a husband. That wish had die on the hill that very day.Aunt Marrily stared her down. Beth blinked. “Don’t be silly child. You should refrain from uttering such complete nonsense.”“I want my very own husband,” Lucy threw herself on the bed and playfully pushed at Beth, who quickly rescued her book from underneath her cousin. “A home for myself to tend to lovingly; children to surround me in my old age, and ornaments to adorn myself.”“Someone like Lord D’Averette?” Gwen asked with a smile and Lucy quickly blushed. “He doesn’t have to be rich or titled, be good to me is all I ask.” Gwen added much to Beth’s despair. How could she even think of marriage after all she had been through? “And a kitchen to reign supreme.” She added smiling.Aunt Marrily waved a finger in her face. “Listen to them, you are much older, I suppose I thought you knowledgeable.” She tsked with a slight shake of her head. “I guess I was wrong. Get dressed immediately, it doesn’t matter if you want a husband or not, your family wants for you, therefore you and every other person in this household will attend the ball.”“But I don’t feel like it.” She said under her breath.“But Beth, it’s your birthday.” Gwen whined, leaning on her.She stroked her little sister’s face. “Precisely.” There was no reason to be happy, no reason at all to celebrate.“But why wouldn’t you?” She raised her head. “You always walk around the house sad on your birthday. You wouldn’t let us celebrate it for you or with you, Father and Mother are eagerly looking forward to the day you would permit us a ball – or at the least, a dinner – in honor of you.” Her eyes fell as she added sadly. “He would want you to enjoy yourself too.”Beth smiled softly. “I don’t want a ball in my honour. Also, our economic status wouldn’t allow us a ball.”“Nonsense!” Aunt Marrily’s voice resounded. “Your parents have let this go on for far too long. The sooner you choose to understand that you are not at fault and lay that issue to rest, the happier everyone would be.” She frowned. “What business of yours is it with the economic status of your parents? Get married and worry about the economic status of your husband and your household.”“Don’t worry Aunt Marrily, such a time will never see the light of day. Like I said, I have absolutely no intention to be a wife.” And that was final.“How brave you are behind closed doors.” Aunt Marrily’s stare grew intense. She crossed her hands over her chest. “Are you a mistress?”Beth was beyond shocked. “I beg your pardon?” Gwen and Lucy exploded with laughter. “I most definitely am not.” What was her Aunt saying?“Are you pining after a love that can never be yours then?”She breathed out. “I assure you, Aunt Marrily, there is no one. There is nothing of the sorts.”“Then you must have gone mad.” Aunt Marrily concluded, laughter exploded from the younger girls again. Beth chuckled but quickly fixed her face. “I see no other reason for your utterances. Whatever it might be,” she waved off, “that is your concern. The ball awaits, and attend we must.”“But Aunt Mar…”“Shh! Not a word more. I have had it with you and your stubborn, quiet ways.” She turned and began to order out instructions. “Lucy, hold your hair up with a ribbon, it is always so uncontrolled; this is your Father’s fault.” Gwen and Lucy giggled again. Uncle Fitzwilliam did have wild hair too. “Gwen put more colors to your cheeks, and Beth,” she looked her over. “Why do you still look like a housekeeper? You had better be dressed for when I call you lots down.” Her words rang with finality. “Now excuse me for I must see to my husband.” She smiled at Beth, clasping her hand bashfully. “That felt good to hear, didn’t it?” Before Beth could refute, she danced out of the room.Lucy laughed. “She is always so giddy.”“She married right.” Gwen noted as she got out of bed, pulling Lucy along. They rushed back to the mirror and set to obey Aunt Marrily’s instructions.Lucy turned back to Beth, hand in her hair, “They make me believe in marriage and the possibility of a good home all the time.” She struggled with her hair, forcing it into the ribbon tie, but it escaped every time she thought she had it secured. Finally getting just enough to stay still, she gave up on the fight. “Up, up cousin,” she called from the mirror to Beth, “we’ve got a ball to prepare for and a rogue of bachelors to rile.”Beth groaned but got up reluctantly. No one dared to disobey Aunt Marrily, not even Uncle Fitzwilliam. When they were called down later on, all three girls were looking beautiful and presentable.She knew he truly cared for her too. Why would he not tell her he loved her? He had cried when he came to know of their child. He protected her from the scorn of the ton and stayed from her when he thought she wanted freedom from him. To Beth, these were all forms of love. Why then would he then not tell her he loved her? His gaze lifted and their eyes locked. "If I do," he whispered. "I'm afraid I would end up losing you." Her heart slammed, filling once more with love for him. she was absolutely breathless now. She never thought she could love him more. He was broken, broken by the tragedy of his parents. Scared that if he admitted aloud to loving her, she would be lost. But Beth knew better, she knew she would not be, she could never love another nor leave him. She loved the Duke of Carlisle and nothing could change it. He was the one she loved. She saw his fear, that he would become like his father, who gave up love to protect his power and title, leaving behind another importa
* * *Beth gasped as Charles's lips took hers, the familiar sensation sending shivers over her body and a known heat to the core of her being. Her eyes closed. He brushed his mouth back and forth against hers as his hands came to her cheeks. Her nostrils tinged. Surprisingly, he smelt like flowers and tasted like the best sunrise.The pebbles dropped and she clasped his shoulders, pulling closer. The pressure increased. His hand held the back of her head as he fought to pry her lips open. She gave in, the kiss was one of hunger and need and longing. He kissed her as if he had sworn his life to it, never wanting to let go.But when air failed her and she protested. He released her mouth.Beth was reeling from the pressure of the kiss and Charles shared her sentiment. His breathing complimented hers as her lungs fought for enough air to keep her alive, while her head fought for thoughts to keep her sane and in place."Darling?" Charles asked as soon as he could breathe naturally.It had
April 1827The rain had finally given up the challenge and let up to a drizzle, but not before creating obstacles in the form of puddles and broken branches, and hiding the moon from sight. In a bid to destroy, the wind had brought down branches and uprooted trees. The workers and the men who catered to the trees would be quite preoccupied in the days to come.The Carlisle coach pulled through, hurtling down the road at the request of its master, bringing itself home. It struggled against the rocks and branches flung about. In the sky, the flashing lightning and cracking thunder gave a promise of the rain's return. It would again storm terrifically, it said.Albert properly held the flowers picked from Torrence Hall when they had made a brief stop, and the cigars Mr. Danbury had given him at Lanhandron for his Lord. Although he had refused, many times, the man did not adhere to him. Did he think there was another merchant who they went to?Charles held freely onto the safety strap as
***Charles had finished with his work and was going to his room, walking the dark halls alone. As soon as Albert had finished attending to him, assisting him change his clothes and putting out his documents in his study, he had sent the man away, needing to remain with his ledgers and work without the hovering presence of an overzealous servant.Over the weeks after his return, he had been sitting with his documents, checking and ascertaining to a fault the works of his solicitors and confirming the progress of his estates.Beth and the builders had, to a large extent, established an edifice and he couldn't be more proud of her. The materials needed for the windows and the doors had already been purchased. On a later day, he would pay the site a visit, but he knew there was nothing to worry about.The bank statements and cheques his solicitors had sent were beautiful. The farms were progressing, the lands had been cleared and prepared for planting. The other estates had been renovate
Beth searched for his emotion, searching to see if he truly was not angry. He wasn't. She turned her away, letting her eyes wander around. The sky was dark and save for the fire, it was all darkness. The wind blew, whispering to the fire, troubling it, and against her skin, causing goosebumps to rise. She sighed. It was warmer at the foot of the hill.How were they on the hill?!"We were standing by the foot of the hill." She mumbled to herself.Eric heard her. "Now, we are here, atop it. Isn't life wonderful?"It was. Wonderful and unpredictable. The grim feeling rose again, and Beth felt uncertain about the future, but she was almost sure of the disaster waiting to happen."Eric, we should not be here." She held his wrist. "This hill_"He cut her off. "What about the hill?" When his smile surfaced, it was one of melancholia. Beth had the silent feeling that he knew of what was to come but would not prevent it. Was he not afraid of it? Was he not scared for the future?If he was not,
"Beth. Beth!" Someone was whispering, calling out to her. The voice was close by, as though the caller was by her side, but also like they were afar off. It was a familiar voice. Beth stirred in her sleep, refusing to pay attention to the call, choosing rather to dive deeper into the world of sweet subconsciousness and unawareness."Bethany wake up, it's morning." The voice called again. She turned, pulling the covers higher as she allowed the darkness continuous hold on her tighten. The comfortable sleep carried her and she liked it. She enjoyed it.But the familiar voice would not relent. "Wake up, sister." It called again. She turned away from it, drowning it out. The bed covers wrapped perfectly around her, helping her remain where she was, far from the voice.Again, it called. "Wake up!!!" The caller shook her, forcing her to regain consciousness. She refused but he was as stubborn as her, finally she gave in. Annoyed enough, Beth forced her eyes open.The room was dark at first,
***Beth stayed with Lady Marjorie who was as excited as a church mouse and the group, laughing gaily at the jokes of Lord Witte. When it broke, she walked with Peter Sinclair, Lord Witte's son-in-law, before excusing herself, telling that her feet were tired and she needed to sit. She walked away to the fountain and sat herself down.The water was beautiful and golden due to the lamps set up about the place. It beckoned and she answered. Her fingers played lightly over the surface of the water and her contact with it caused ripples, distorted and obedient to the slow movement. The lines formed and swept silently by, but before they could scatter she would create yet another set of lines. It was a nonsensical act but it was fun for her, at least for the moment.The Willowbrook sisters had scared her with their words but it had made her receive a promise from Charles, a promise that everyday made life beautiful. Her words to their mother had been true. There was nothing to forgive. The
Beth shook her head. "No." She giggled. "Not too long ago, they saw me as a seductress and a thief. Soon they would see me as Bethany, and even if they don't, I am satisfied with being Lady Carlisle, after all Lord Carlisle is my husband, is he not? I would no more care for how people see me, it is their choice but I would demand my honour, it is my right."She was different. She was bolder. What had happened to the timid woman who was angry at the too quick a marriage and the new home she was to own and manage? The same who would always turn her away at every visit? Marjorie liked this woman. She was good for Charles. She was good for the Duchy. She was good for herself. Like this, she could face society and win even though many people still held contempt against her.She was brave."You are braver than I am and I consider myself quite brave. Marrying John was one of the greatest joys of my life, but there were days I was forced to regret it."The same people who bowed to her now, se
***Marjorie turned her head at every approaching carriage, hoping it to be the one from Carlisle Crest. They had not promised to be in attendance but she hoped they would, seeing as they had not rejected the invitation either. She wanted them to be more aligned with the ton and her ways, even if just a little bit. It was alright to have one's dealings, but society had some rules and breaking so many of them l might lead to not being accepted or worse invited to its norms and functions ever again. She knew Charles didn't care for societal rules but she did, and perhaps Beth might too and it would be cruel to steal it from the young woman.Mrs. Blackwell, Jacob Blackwell's new and older wife, waved to her and she waved in return. They did not run in the same circle but she was a nice woman who, like her, had defiled society and married the man she loved. When Mrs. Blackwell invited her in with a gesture, she refused and gesticulated back, saying she would be in the open area in a matte