Chapter 16: Suicide

ALEXANDER

When Christina saw that I wasn’t crying, throwing tantrums, or having an emotional outburst, she exhaled in relief.

If she knew how helpless I truly felt, and the realization I had come to accept, she would not have been so relieved.

Then Christina said, “Since you can’t go to the dining table, I’ll bring your meals here.”

I watched her walk out of the room and pursed my lips tightly. When she returned, she came with several maids carrying plates of food. Soon, everything was laid out, and as I reclined on the bed, I was fed.

Christina sat directly opposite me and fed me herself. I opened my mouth from time to time and ate in silence. When I had eaten enough, I stopped. Christina and the maids then cleared the plates, and after she left, I decided to close my eyes.

I barely slept when a violent tug yanked me awake. My head buzzed, and through my blurred vision I saw a face hovering above me. The heavy breath fanning across my skin chased away the last traces of sleep. When I finally focused, I saw Alpha Damon—his face cold, his eyes menacing.

I shuddered.

“You truly are a bringer of doom,” Alpha Damon said icily. “My warriors have never suffered such defeat—not until I married you.”

I let out a bitter laugh, then curled my lips into an evil smile. “Then divorce me.”

He shoved me hard. My body slammed against the bed, and the pain from the impact made my head spin. Then I heard him sneer.

“I have always wondered why those envoys were so interested in you when you are not even beautiful and are utterly disgusting…”

I had wondered the same thing. The palace was filled with beautiful women, and most of the slaves were carefully groomed to entertain envoys. Compared to them, I was nothing remarkable. Yet, strangely, those envoys kept asking for me.

“One of them told me that after sleeping with you, he became strangely powerful. Alexander, do you know what that means?” Alpha Damon asked, his gaze sharp and cruel.

A chill ran down my spine. Flustered, I shook my head and replied, “That is impossible. It makes no sense.”

To my shock, Alpha Damon chuckled.

“I doubted it too…”

For a brief second, my heart calmed at his words. But the next sentence shattered every shred of hope I had left.

“After the night we slept together, I felt my spirit lift. I became more energized… and my wolf grew stronger.”

He suddenly fell silent, which only made me more uneasy. My fists clenched as panic rose inside me.

“You are not planning to send me to those men, are you?” I asked anxiously. “They will rape me to death.”

The sound of my own voice felt foreign in my ears.

He looked at me without the slightest trace of remorse and answered, “That is exactly what I intend to do. I want to know whether my suspicion is correct.”

My heart trembled, and all hope drained from me. I looked at Alpha Damon helplessly, but he showed no emotion at all. Without even sparing me another glance, he said,

“You are about to render a great service to the pack. It should be an honor to make the warriors stronger.”

His words dripped with ridicule. There was no honor in being passed from one stranger’s bed to another. It was not service—it was humiliation.

As I watched him turn to leave, a thought suddenly flashed through my mind.

With the last ounce of strength left in me, I jumped down from the bed, nearly stumbling, but I quickly regained my balance. I moved to the window and climbed onto the balcony.

Alpha Damon stood there, looking at me with a smile that did not reach his eyes. He did not panic at all; he simply remained there, expressionless.

My heart pounded wildly. I clenched my fists and glared at him anxiously. His lips curled into a sneer as he mocked me.

“I thought you were about to commit suicide. You seemed so decisive a few minutes ago. Why are you still standing there instead of jumping to your death? Is dying really that difficult?”

My thoughts instantly became chaotic. As I stared into his eyes, I realized at once that my life and death meant nothing to him. In that moment, I understood how foolish I had been to think I could threaten him with suicide.

I watched him flick his sleeves and turn toward the door. Just as he was about to leave, I shouted firmly, “I will jump to my death if you insist on sending me into the beds of different men...”

He paused briefly and looked at me with the same blank expression. Then he pulled the door open and walked away.

I stood there as the wind brushed against my bare skin. The slam of the door was a cruel reminder that he did not care at all.

My eyes grew misty. I looked down and realized I was only several meters above the ground, not high enough for the fall to kill me. At worst, I would end up with broken arms or other injuries. But would that stop those men from taking turns with me?

If they could violate me while I was unconscious, they would do the same even if I were battered and broken. At that moment, I abandoned the thought completely. I climbed back into the room and made up my mind to stab myself to death, or perhaps drink poison instead.

With that decision, my eyes turned cold as I searched the room. There was no knife, nor anything sharp enough to pierce my skin. I headed for the door, determined to make my way to the kitchen.

When I stepped out of the room, the guard stationed outside did not react. I went straight toward the kitchen. As I passed Christina, her face was creased with worry. She must have seen the wild, desperate resolve in my eyes and known exactly what I intended to do.