Chapter 17: Pack Healer

ALEXANDER

I walked into the kitchen without hesitation, feeling the servants’ eyes follow my every step. Christina’s face was tight with conflict, and I could tell she wanted nothing more than to stop me, but she didn’t. Someone had already given the order.

My hand reached for the knife resting on the kitchen counter. Fear stirred in my chest, but I forced myself to stay resolute. What was the point of being alive if I had no free will?

I glanced out the window, and the sting in my eyes told me tears had already begun to fall. My chest grew heavier. Tightening my grip on the knife, I swallowed against the lump lodged in my throat.

I shut my eyes and prepared to stab myself, determined to end it all. Fear of death gripped me, but then Alpha Damon’s amused, mocking expression flashed through my mind.

If I didn’t do this now, he would only look down on me even more.

Steeling myself, I brought the knife down with all the resolve I had left.

The pain was immediate and blinding.

It was so intense that I could barely think. When I looked down, I saw the blade buried deep in my stomach, blood spreading around it in a dark crimson circle. My head began to feel light. Just before consciousness slipped away, I whispered, “Mom, I’ve disappointed you. I couldn’t even avenge your death.”

Then everything went black.

But after some time, I felt my awareness slowly returning.

“That’s enough. Open your eyes. You’re not dead, so stop pretending.”

Alpha Damon’s voice cut through the haze.

I opened my eyes, only to flinch at the harsh daylight pouring in through the window. The brightness stung so badly that I had to squeeze them shut again before reopening them slowly. When my vision finally cleared, I saw Alpha Damon standing before me, his face expressionless, his eyes cold and unreadable.

I glared at him. I didn’t need anyone to explain what had happened. He must have ordered the pack healer to save me. The bastard hadn’t only stolen my freedom—he had made it impossible for me to even choose death.

The thought filled me with such fury that my chest tightened painfully.

Alpha Damon gave me a long, knowing look before letting out a sarcastic sneer.

“Are you surprised I didn’t let you die?”

I pressed my lips together and said nothing, only glaring at him. There was no point in answering. My thoughts, my feelings, my choices—none of them mattered to him.

As expected, the cold-hearted beast continued in an indifferent tone.

“You’re still useful to me, Alexander. As long as there’s even the faintest breath left in you, I’ll drag you back from death if I have to. If I let you die, who will make my men stronger? How else am I supposed to crush the invaders at the northern border?”

My eyes filled with tears.

I had already known that was the reason, but hearing him say it aloud shattered something inside me. The pain was unbearable, so sharp and crushing that I could hardly breathe.

He didn’t care.

I watched him turn away and walk out without a second glance.

Then the door opened, and Christina entered with her maids, who carried trays of food.

She walked to my bedside and looked at me with eyes full of pity. Tears slipped down my cheeks.

“My Lady, you must be strong. Sit up and eat,” Christina said softly.

After the maids left, I looked at her and asked, “Am I pitiful, Christina?”

She stared at me for a long moment, unsure of what to say. I held her gaze and asked again, “Tell me the truth. Am I pitiful?”

“My Lady, you are not pitiful...”

At that moment, I realized she would never admit it, even if it were true. I had once expected so much from our friendship, but her loyalty belonged to the Alpha King.

“I am the queen, yet I am no better than a flower vase in a brothel. I am forbidden from acting as the Luna of the pack. I am hated by the man I married and abandoned by my own family. Do you still think I am not pitiful?” I asked helplessly.

I saw the hesitation in her eyes before she finally sighed and said, “My Lady, let me feed you.”

I leaned back against the bed and silently allowed Christina to feed me. The food I usually loved tasted like nothing in my mouth. It had lost all flavor on my tongue.

Soon, weakness overtook me, and I drifted off to sleep.

I did not know how long I had slept before my chamber door opened again. My eyes flew open just in time to see two men standing in my room. Their faces were masked, and they wore nothing but trousers. The bulges between their legs left little doubt as to why they had come.

I did not panic, because I already knew the purpose of their visit.

At that moment, the curtains stirred, and a soft night breeze slipped into the room. The faint glow of the stars told me that I had slept until nightfall. I regretted not asking Christina the time when she had fed me.

Then I felt a touch.

Lowering my gaze, I saw a hand reaching for my garment.

“There is no need to be rough,” I said after taking a deep breath. “I will give myself to you.”

In that moment, I had already surrendered myself to fate.

I caught the flicker of surprise in their eyes.

Slowly, I rose from the bed and untied the robe wrapped around my body. It slipped to the floor, and I stood naked before them. I had lost so much weight after days of torture that I hardly recognized my own body.

My eyes drifted to the place where I had driven the knife into myself, yet there was no wound there, not even the faintest scar. I could only marvel at the pack healer’s extraordinary gift.