"They may not know each other to say it, but it was never hidden. How much ever they hated each other, fate ties them together." - Parul Wadhwa, The Masquerade
I went home straight after what happened. I was so angry, my hands were trembling while driving.
I have been angry with that person because I wasn't thankful of what he did. It was my escape from the bullshits I've been through and he ruined it. I should have been with my mom few years ago but he prolonged my fucking life and I call that bullshit.
Iniyak ko ang frustration at galit nang nakauwi. I drank until I was already crawling to my bed. And it's Christmas, the day that reminds me of all the bad mem
"He wished he could find a way back to believing, even though he knew better, that she was his to protect." - Cassandra ClarDue to an emergency at home, hindi makakasama ang broker ko sa property viewing. Balak sana naming i-cancel pero narealize kong isiningit lang ni Zyline ang araw na ito sa schedule ko at baka mahirapan na siyang gawin iyon ulit sa mga susunod na linggo.Kaya naman minabuti kong ako nalang ang makipag-meet sa buyer. 4pm ang naka-set na pagkikita at hindi ko na ipinabago iyon. The buyer said he's also busy so we should just meet at the exact location.Alas-dos nang bumyahe ako dala ang mga papeles na hindi ko pa nga pala na-scan. May tiwala
"We're never so vulnerable than when we trust someone - but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find love or joy." - Frank CraneGaya ng plano ko ay maaga akong tumulak. I left right after eating at the resort's restaurant. Hindi rin naman ako nagtagal doon lalo pa't hindi ako kumportable na magkaharap kami ni Fifth kahit na magkalayo naman ang lamesa namin.Hindi ko alam kung sapat naba sa kaniya ang kaunting oras kahapon sa property viewing pero handa naman akong mag-set ulit ng schedule kapag pwede na si Jilliane at sila na ang bahalang mag-usap.Alas dos ng madaling araw at bumabiyahe ako sa madilim na kalsada pabalik ng Maynila. It's still in
"The terror takes you. The cage is locked and the curtain drawn. Fingers dance along as blades, carving memories into your flesh that will leave scars long past being healed." - Amanda Steele, The CliffNakatulugan ko ang byahe pabalik ng Maynila. Ginising lang ako ni Fifth nang nasa basement na ng condominium ang sasakyan. Marahang paghawak lang sa braso at dumilat na ako agad sa gulat."We're here,"Napakurap ako at napatango, malakas pa ang pintig ng puso dahil hindi talaga ako sanay na basta nalang hinahawakan, lalo pa ng lalaki.Fifth's eyes stayed with me. Nakamasid ito na para bang nagtataka sa pagkakag
"Is this what the rest of my life is going to be like? Moments of happiness punctured by the memory of what happened, like a bomb which can detonate at any time." - Kelly Yang, ParachutesFifth and Coleen stayed in my condo for the night. Matapos namin kumain ay bumalik na rin ako sa kwarto ko para magpahinga.Maraming bumagabag sa isip ko sa gabing iyon, unang-una na ang pagpaparamdam muli ni Ryan sa akin. Hindi ko alam kung ano pa bang kailangan niya, he wasn't sent to prison, he was charged guilty, kaya hindi ko alam kung ano pa ang gusto niyang mangyari.Is he bothered that I am rising to fame? Nagiging matunog na ang pangalan ko sa pagmomodelo, magaz
"Lonely is when you're being abused and, sadly, no-one believes you because you're a 'strong' woman." - Mitta XinindluChapter 13He gave me water when we reached his condo. Kapwa kami tahimik ngunit puno ng pananantiya ang kaniyang mga tingin. But like the usual, he doesn't ask me anything, kahit pa kita ko na sa kaniyang mga mata ang kuryosidad at pagkakalito.Nanginig ang mga kamay ko nang tinanggap ang tubig. Suminghot ako at huminga ng malalim, sinusubukan pa ring kumalma. Ngunit hindi sapat iyon. Nang napansin na hindi ko kayang i-angat ang baso ay hinawakan niya na iyon para makainom ako.I feel so small under his attentive eyes and huge frame.
"The ache for home lives in all of us. The safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned." - Maya AngelouChapter 14I woke up early the next morning. Naligo ako at nagbihis. I'm wearing a mustard tie neck ruffle hem smock dress and the same shoes I'm wearing last night, a minimalist combat boots.Itinabi ko ang mga maruming damit at inilagay sa bag na dala. Maging ang t-shirt ni Fith ay dinala ko para malabhan. Inayos ko rin ang kama ni Coleen bago tuluyang lumabas sa kwarto.Agad kong naamoy ang mga pagkain pagbaba ko palang sa hagdanan. Dahan-dahan ang paghakbang ko patungong kitchen at naabutan doon si Fifth na nagtitimpla ng kape. His eyes immediately met mine.
"Every person has a tender spot, where he or she feels pain most exquisitely." - Kilroy J. Oldster, Dead Toad ScrollsChapter 15Akala ko ako lang ang takot sa mga mata ni Fifth pero nang nakita ang pinaghalong gulat at takot sa mga mata ni Samantha ay napagtanto kong ganoon siya sa lahat. His dark heavy-lidded eyes are scary, lalo na kapag nakatuon ito sayo. I realized he can induce fear to anyone, just by looking at them, maybe because his air is so dark and menacing.The way he clenches his prominent jaw, the way his hawk-like eyes glare at you like you're some prey caught in his bait, makes your knees tremble."Fifth," nakita ko ang pagdating ni Sean, kasunod si Dylan. Napansin ko rin ang pamumuo ng tensy
"They seemed angry that I'd made myself vulnerable, more than the fact that he'd acted on my vulnerability. Drinking is not inherently immoral: a night of heavy drinking calls for Advil and water. But being drunk and raped seemed to call for condemnation." - Chanel Miller, Know My NameChapter 16Larry's wedding is very intimate. Kaunti lang ang mga bisita at halos kakilala. Media has been blocked too. Ang sabi ay maselan ang pagbubuntis ni Larry kaya hindi gusto ni Xian na magkaroon ng problema.To be honest, I thought this is gonna be a shotgun marriage. When I heard from Dylan that Xian got Larry pregnant, I thought it's gonna be the only reason for him to marry her. Dahil sino bang maniniwala na higit anim na buwan palang ang nakakalipas nang namatay si Ki